Do U believe U would parent the exact same way if we could go back & begin again

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   fpherj48posted 8 years ago

   Do U believe U would parent the exact same way if we could go back & begin again from square one?
   
   

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   Edward J. Palumboposted 8 years ago

   Passing time offers a better perspective, so I think I would be a bit more patient and understanding. Especially as teenagers, there were times I was convinced my children had mutated into some alternate life form. I've come to understand that they process information differently (or poorly) and regret I hadn't taken a child development classes. My daughter and son have grown into fine adults and productive members of society, but I had my doubts for a while. My wife was a calming, stabilizing influence and often advocated for my children to soften my approach. I wasn't abusive but, according to my children, I was strict. In retrospect, perhaps I was a bit too rigid.

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      fpherj48posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It's wonderful to see that our children are happy, healthy & productive adults.  Proof that no matter what, we did something very right!  Good job, Dad!

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   bravewarriorposted 8 years ago

   Probably so. As we know, history repeats itself. I raised my son pretty much on my own from the time he was six. I'd like to think I did a pretty good job. He was ADHD until he graduated from high school. Trust me, raising an ADHD child is no easy task, especially when that child is bitter over divorce on top of it. However, he always came first. I went out of pocket to get him quality care and learned how to "see" how the ADHD mind thinks/works. That helped me choose which behaviors were actually battles and which weren't.
   
   All in all, I'd say I was a pretty good mom. My son has always told me he loves me - even in front of his peers. Today we are close. We had a difficult road to pave, but together we made it and came out strong.
   
   So, yes. I'd parent the same way. I am who I am.

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      fpherj48posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Sha...Yes, we can look back & remember the struggles, the ups & downs.  But when we look at them today, we smile with pride & feel good about how it all worked out.  That you have a strong relationship & love one another, really says

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   ChristinSposted 8 years ago

   what an awesome, thought provoking question.  I think perspective and time show us a lot on reflection.  Overall, I think I've done pretty well, but are there some things I may have done differently? Yes, and thankfully I am open to growing and changing as a parent.  None of these young people come with instruction books, so we all have to kind of wing it in our own ways, no matter how prepared we try to be.  I took parenting and child development classes - and much of what I learned there helped me to understand how my kids grow, think and develop, but a lot of it didn't.  Every kid is so different and what worked for my oldest son is definitely not going to work on the youngest lol.  They have radically different personalities, so I am adapting as I go along. 
   
   Nine years between kids has been interesting - I have more perspective and experience, but it really does me no good as they are both very different people .

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      fpherj48posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Congratulations to a talented and versatile MOM!  Sounds to me that you've got an excellent handle on this "mothering thing!!"   I'm sure you have done quite well, Christin!  Having happy, healthy & well-adjusted kids is the name of the game!

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   peachpurpleposted 8 years ago

   nope, given a chance, I want my hubby to educate them then I can be free as a bird

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      fpherj48posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I understand that!   "Free as a bird," sounds like a nice choice.

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