Any experiences with this?

1. 61

   aspiringauthorposted 13 years ago

   I am in a heterosexual marriage, but without a doubt, I am a lesbian. I love my husband, so that would make him the only male exception, but I am never attracted to men - only women.

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   1. 59

      calpol25posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I am a gay man and you can talk to me x
      
      How does make you feel being with him?
      
      What do you, yourself want to do?

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2. 59

   calpol25posted 13 years ago

   Please remember that you have done nothing wrong

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3. 56

   yoshi97posted 13 years ago

   People marry for love ... You are in love with your husband ... I see no issue here.
   
   As for your attraction to women ... Consider the opposite. Would it be wrong if you ere attracted to other men, so long as you didn't act on those impulses? Every marriage should be based on trust and faithfulness. So long as your marriage is filled with both ... again ... I see no issue here.
   
   Where I *would* have an issue is if you married your husband to correct a visible imbalance toward others, as in, you married a man to prove to everyone else you didn't have tendencies to want to be with a women.
   
   Love and sex are two different concepts, thus you wouldn't necessarily love someone you wanted to have sex with. Being that as the case, you can love your husband very much and still long for women. It's how you feel about your spouse that will determine the strength (and worthiness) of your marriage - not your passing thoughts in fancy as you walk around town.
   
   As was said by Jimmy Carter ... 'I have committed adultery a thousand times in my mind, but never in my heart.'  Which means, it's not the thoughts that are evil, it's the actions you allow them to bring about. And if you contain such thoughts then no one can cast you with an evil eye.

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   1. 59

      calpol25posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with you yoshi x

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         donotfearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         
         Yes, that is a good response.

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         1. 83

            donotfearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            
            I'd like to add one more thing. The OP is attracted to the opposite sex, but doesn't act on impulse. In comparison, an alcoholic craves and is attracted to alcohol. They also have a choice whether to act on the impulse or not. Whether they choose to act or not is up to them.

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4. 80

   earnestshubposted 13 years ago

   Are there any children in the marriage? I would consider their needs first.
   I think you should be true to what your sexuality is if you can.
   I am sure there is a woman out there for you, and I wish you well whatever you decide.
   As a male hetro I have some lesbian friends, one was married to a man she loves. Still does. They are now firm friends. She went to marriage guidance with her husband and they split amicably. She is so happy now, and I believe it is because she made this tough decision to come out to her husband honestly that he is one of her staunchest supporters.

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