Addicts helping Addicts

1. 60

   CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

   Hi - I'm Cheri and I'm an alcoholic.  I'm Wendi's sister.  I really need a meeting.  It's been over a week and I'm feeling it!!!!!

   replyreport
   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Cheri, so cool your here, just woke p so good morning.  Love that the two of you are here.  Did  you get to a meeting?

      replyreport
   2. 72

      lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Welcome, Cheri-I'm Laurel and I am an alcoholic/addict as well.  This forum is a fabulous way to 'meet' when you can't get to a meeting.  I've missed meetings as well this last week because I stayed home tending to my hubby who got the Swine Flu!
      I suppose if I am to be honest, I could have taken an hour to get my spiritual needs met, but I'll get back to them now that he's well...

      replyreport
2. 0

   Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

   Just came from Cheri's house...she's a little down today.
   
   Love you Cheri!

   replyreport
   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Cheri, your not alone,you have us too! 24/7 love

      replyreport
3. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

   Families in Recovery are so special, my entire family is also but my sibling and I are are closest, on a whole different level most couldn't understand - you now what I mean girls?  Hi Wendi

   replyreport
4. 60

   CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

   I haven't been to a meeting, but my sister helped me.  A mini meeting and expressing your feelings always helps.  I hope to get to one tomorrow.  Who knows.....

   replyreport
   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      So truegirl,I mean when you think about it AA started with one alcoholic talking to one other.  Bill and Bob were alone together forever before another alcoholic joined it.  It kept them going.  All we ever need is one other sober being to share with,just as long as we're not ALONE!  And I'm so glad your not, you too Wendi, and Cheri, this is your meeting today, maybe read this;
      
      http://hubpages.com/hub/An-Intimate-Int … -Alcoholic
      
      and I'm coming back with today's meditation.
      
      God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
      the courage to change the things we can, and
      the wisdom to know the difference.

      replyreport
5. 60

   CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

   I love that.  Did you do that interview?  It was all so familiar to me - starting at 13 - knowing I had a problem at 18 - thinking I could do it on my own. 
   
   I also wanted to answer the question regarding the best thing about being sober....
   
   Not having to wake up and wonder what I did the night before - also - no more shame and regret.  Love it!
   
   Thanks for yours and Wendi's help.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      So glad it helped girl, your home.

      replyreport
6. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

   Daily Meditation for *October 11, 2009.*
   
   Be still and listen to the stillness within.....-Darleen Larsons Jenks
   
   No answer eludes us if we turn to the source to all answers-the stillness within.  Prayer accompanied by meditation will always provide the answers we need for for the situations facing us.  The answers we want are not guaranteed, however.  We must trust that we will be directed to take the right steps.  Our well-being is assured if we let go of being the one in control and trn our wils over to the care of God, our messenger within.
   
   How comporting to know that all the answers are as close as our quiet moments.  God never chooses to keep the answers from us.  We simply fail to quiet our thoughts long enough to heed them.  Our minds race, obsessively, all too often.  We jump from one scenario to another. And each time our thoughts capture a new focus, we push the answer we seek further into the background.
   
   -----------------------------------------
   
   The process is simple, If I want to follow it.  The answers await me if I truly want them.  I need only sit quietly and ask God to offer the guidance I need.  And then I will sit quietly some more.
   
   -----------------------------------------
   
   Hope that helps.
   If anyone wants to add their meditation of the day, please do so, they'r always relevant somehow and uplifting.
   Thanks

   replyreport
7. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

   Remember ODAAT!

   replyreport
8. 60

   CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

   I love this one from "The Language of Letting Go"
   
   Getting Through Discomfort
   
   Surrender to the pain.  Then learn to surrender to the good.  It’s there and more is on the way.
   Our goal in recovery is to make ourselves feel comfortable, peaceful and content.  Happy.  We want to be at peace with ourselves and our environment.  Sometimes, to do that, we need to face, feel and get through discomfort.
   I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain.  I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain.  I’m talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
   When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation.  When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental and spiritual surgery on ourselves.  We’re removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
   Sometimes the process hurts.
   We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain.  Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
   Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side.  Help me, God, be open to be feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy.  While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by myself, my friends, my Higher Power and the Universe

   replyreport
   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      That one helped me today Thanks

      replyreport
9. 56

   franki79posted 15 years ago

   To stop feeling, caring, thinking, (about anything serious, anyway), to not think about reality, to not live in reality, to not feel how I felt, to forget that I am me and can be somebody else.
      That is why I drank
   
      To feel happy, to be awake, to think about and engross myself in my writting, to not live in reality, to not feel how I felt, to forget that I am me and pretend that I am the best damn writer on earth!
        That is why I did meth
   
      To stop feeling, caring, thinking, (about anything serious, anyway), to not think about reality, to not live in reality, to not feel how I felt, to forget that I am me and can be somebody else.
        That is why I continued to smoke week on/off for 10 years although I didn't like it.
      
       I've been putting it off, but I think I will need to write a hub explaining my disease.
   Franki

   replyreport
   1. 0

      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      replyreport
      1. 0

         lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         replyreport
         1. 0

            Wendi Mposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            replyreport
            1. 60

               Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Hey Franki...welcome to the asylum
               
               Nope, not strictly a girls group, and am I thankful for that. Just look at the beauty of body heart and soul that graces these pages. Would be a shame not to be allowed membership in here.
               
               Some would think that the membership fees in the form of addiction WOULD be a shame to have to pay for inclusion here, but I would argue that addiction is not the fee. The membership cost is discovery. Discovery of the reality of how splendid we are in our traits, faults, fears, hope, emotions, and uniqueness.
               
               Writing is such a wonderful journey. I have read more 'About Me' pages than you can imagine. Spousal suicides, addiction and recovery, loss of a close friend or family member, child abduction, and many more topics. Every comment section is filled with visitors who proclaim what a brave deed it was to write that page. Those visitors do not understand bravery.
               
               I have written one or dozen articles like those myself and understand that it wasn't the writing for the world that was courageous, but it was the journey to get past those doors and barriers that we keep bolted. The opening or blasting those doors off their hinges so we can stir up the muck we hide from is the part of the bravery.
               
               Swimming in the muck and getting to the other side of the cesspool is the real act. Embracing what we fear and realizing that it is part of the wonderful equation of ME takes more guts than anything a person will ever face.
               
               No, writing about that dark corner is only acknowledging it as part of ME.
               
               Where the hell all this came from, I don't know, but welcome to the group (I'm usually way more superficial )

               replyreport
   2. 72

      lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      replyreport
      1. 60

         Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Well said lorlie.

         replyreport
         1. 72

            lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks, Drifter-you know it isn't easy being honest on a Forum, but honesty is something I need to work on-badly...

            replyreport
         2. 0

            lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            I agree with drifter, he makes such critical points in what he says - and he's not superficial, maybe a liar, but far from not real,   I am going to email you and let you know you touched a few people in here and we do give a sh**, care a lot and need more jokes around here and no it is not a woman's group-Drifter, do you have long hair? LOL 
            
            Check ya soon girlfriend, your home, so come back.

            replyreport
            1. 56

               franki79posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                 Well, considering I haven't sat in a hair dressers chair since,,, 06,,, I think,,, I think the answer is yes, I have long hair.
                 I got ur email and thank u.
                 Thank u to everybody who commented, it means a lot to me!

               replyreport
10. 60

    CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

    That's funny Lorlie6 - I've been tending to my hubby, too.  He just had surgery to get a defribulator and pacemaker.  It's been a very difficult time for him and I hate to see him in pain.  He's finally feeling better after four days.  It's funny how I forget my spiritual side when I go through these things.  Thank God for the program. 
    
    Did your husband get any medications for the swine flu?  I've been hearing so much about it on the news.

    replyreport
    1. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       How is YOUR hubby-wow, that's hard stuff, for both of you...Mine is much better, Cheri, and no, there's nothing but good ole Tylenol for fever and Motrin for aches.
       I was given Tamiflu since I had been exposed, and I am fine!
       You know if you don't feel comfortable leaving him, this forum-lyricsingray in particular-is pretty close to perfect.  )

       replyreport
11. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Franki, where's your avtar?  Com'on,they're fun, look I'm a stripper-can't stop laughing at that girls.

    replyreport
12. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Hi Kim...how's your day going?

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for asking, I'm struggling with emotions and my ADD today but somehow this forum and writing takes me from the chaos in my head.  I too reed a meeting but I am enjoying this woman's meeting. It's Thanksgiving here so off to eat some Turkey and I'll be back - hope your still here, hugs Babe

       replyreport
       1. 0

          Wendi Mposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          That's right, I forgot...Happy Thanksgiving!

          replyreport
          1. 0

             lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Cheers! Already done eating, I feel a food coma coming on, but gratefully this wasn't a liquid thanksgiving but a real one!
             
             What's up with you?

             replyreport
       2. 72

          lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I did not know it is Thanksgiving there-brain damage, I suppose.
          Anyhoo, I hope everything was wonderful.

          replyreport
13. 55

    kmackey32posted 15 years ago

    A friend of mine is a recovering addict and she told me being in rehab wasn't a good thing because when people told there stories of what they did, it made her want to use more.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Kmackey, so glad your here. Having been through 12 rehabs myself,this is a common complaint.  Most rehabs have very strict rules about glorifying or discussing drugs, alcohol and experiences. I guess they just can't be around all the time.  I'm guilty myself of gossiping in rehab about subjects that should never be discussed.  Mostly because we are new to the program in rehab and feel as though we have nothing better to talk about since all we've been talking about is drugs for years.
       
       Hope you come back, it's a good support forum and a lot of fun and a lot of good information to learn from.
       
       Kimberly

       replyreport
14. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Frabki, where did you go?  You come back here right this instant or I'm coming to get you, we need you and Lorlie is talking some good shit,Thanks girl, now Franki,  come back here!!!!!!LOL

    replyreport
15. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Are all you old folk going to bed already - we're just cooking and recommend a hub in the other forum.  It's actually almost too hard to keep up with - this is my home. Sleep well my fellow Hubbers and recovering Angels.
    
    Dream in color (naturally!)
    
    Hugs (not Drugs)

    replyreport
    1. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hush, Child!  )
       Hey, speaking of dreaming in color, I never did until I got sober...

       replyreport
       1. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          HA so true - cool

          replyreport
    2. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       What other forum?

       replyreport
       1. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          It's great i called it ' recommend a hubbers hub'  you recommend a hub the peron above you has produced - people are becoming each others fans and commenting on the hubs - it's working yeh!  go girl you don't have to say anything-just link and who's it is-above you.  It gets hairy-going too fast sometimes but what a way to drive traffic and get exposure.
          
          Hope you come

          replyreport
          1. 72

             lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Too fast for this old dame-I don't know how to link, so I have to handwrite, then type the 'http' thing...I'll learn one of these damn days!  )

             replyreport
16. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Have a good night everyone...off to bed!
    Wendi

    replyreport
    1. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Sleep well, Wendi!

       replyreport
    2. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Wendy sleep well and thanks for all your support

       replyreport
17. 71

    Beth100posted 15 years ago

    My pleasure! 

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Beth, I just have to say it again, I'm truly so glad your here.
       Kimberly 

       replyreport
18. 71

    Beth100posted 15 years ago

    Def fun and great exposure, and lots of great reads too!  Finding it a little too fast for me since I read a little slow.  However, I've managed a few posts!

    replyreport
19. 60

    Drifter0658posted 15 years ago

    This old coot is still around....strong coffee is the blood of life

    replyreport
20. 60

    Drifter0658posted 15 years ago

    Come on in a little deeper Cheri...the water is fine

    replyreport
    1. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Glad you're back, Drifter, but do you sling innuendos at ALL the girls? )

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          sure...don't look so shocked

          replyreport
21. 60

    Drifter0658posted 15 years ago

    oh...I never left...just got busy

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Busy? That was a long busy hmmmmmm........................
       
       What is it again when you get sober, the next best thing is? Oh ya, chocolate.

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Well...I do love me some chocolate....love the way it melts in my hands....love the way it feels on my tongue....the taste....on a strawberry...divine...
          
          I think I may have developed another addiction

          replyreport
          1. 72

             lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Shameless hussy, you are!

             replyreport
             1. 60

                Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Guilty as charged

                replyreport
22. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    SWITCH 6
    
    Question;  What was the worst/best lie you thought of to hide your using, or think you were at the time?
    
    Funny how we really believe we're hiding things from everybody LOL

    replyreport
23. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    I'll be back - just busy for a quick while.

    replyreport
24. 60

    Drifter0658posted 15 years ago

    pretty lame...but I was always tired from working and I was always on a diet

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Lame but love ya

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Love ya too...like chocolate even

          replyreport
25. 72

    lorlie6posted 15 years ago

    G'nite, all, it's been fun and enlightening to really engage with other drug fiends...I mean people.  )
    I will be back.  Promise!
    YAwn...

    replyreport
26. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Ya, but I can't sleep - you all left me- it's here at almost 2 and I am wide awake - guess I'll finish my Guinness length Hub that just won't end- God help me please!!!!!! Let it end at least this week. It's 1/4done unpublished showing a score of 70 - what's up with that?  Maybe it'll come back down when I publish - HA 12 readers? Must be Hubs, 
    
    you all enjoy your sleeps - I'll be here in Hubbing Hell  - I've written to much to trash it now - who the hell will read it? Who the hell am I talking too?  Coo COO
    
    Nite to you!

    replyreport
27. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Good Morning
    God Bless another god day
    still writing my never-ending hub LOL
    
    Hope to see someone soon and happy

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       mysterious typo - I'm leaving that one, but have a good day too!

       replyreport
28. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Today's meditation for October 12, 2009.
    
    There are two entirely opposite attitudes possible in facing the problems of one's life.  One, to try and change the external world, the other to try and change one self  ----Joanna Field
    
    God grant us the courage to change what we can - ourselves.  How difficult is it to let go of our struggles to change and control someone else.  How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change.  All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
    
    Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step towards emotional health.  Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions.  Personal power is as available as our ever need.  The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us.  The decision each day to be thoughtful, pray-ful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves.  Each responsible choice moves us towards our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
    
    ---------------------------------
    
    Today, I will change only who I can today,myself
    
    ---------------------------------

    replyreport
29. 60

    CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

    Morning everyone.  Loved the writing about not trying to change someone else.  It's funny how I can say something like he made me do this.  It's so not true.  Nobody can make you do something - you allow it to happen.  I know I haven't been to a meeting in a while, but this has helped me tremendously.  I'm actually feeling a little more spiritual.  I do love seeing that serenity prayer, too.  I just can't get enough of that.
    
    Thanks guys and have a great day.

    replyreport
30. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Good morning everyone...morning Cheri. Glad to see that you're in better spirits today.
    
    Just stopping in to get my dose of what I need "from this room" before I set off to that creative place in my mine...that I did not know existed when I was using.
    
    Kim, I'm sure you're still sleeping..but I hope to see you in here later today.
    
    
    Everybody "HAVE A GREAT DAY!"
    
    Wenid

    replyreport
31. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    For Cheri and all of us , the 'we' version
    
    God grant us the serenity
    to accept the things we cannot change
    The courage to change the things we can
    and the wisdom to know the difference
    
    ----------------------------
    
    It works,  if you work it,  so work it,  it's worth it.
    
    ----------------------------

    replyreport
32. 60

    aintsoobviousposted 15 years ago

    I first came across that Serenity Prayer in Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5 (excellent book, that i was told i purchased myself although i don't remember ever doing so. :-/  )
    
      The passage is found hanging around a porn star's kneck, inscribed on a locket which contains a picture of her alcholic mother, "a grainy thing, soot and chalk. It could have been anybody." This all takes place in a Zoo run by Trafalamadorians!  That guy. What an imagination. Anyway thanks for the invite. I just posted my first hub! Yay for me.  I think it's worth a read if any of you are bored, sometimes we need fiction.
    
      Best of luck to all of you with your individual and unique plights.
    
    Peace.
    
    Daniel.

    replyreport
33. 60

    CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

    No meeting again today, so here I am - getting my fill.  Hubby is still miserable.  He's really feeling sorry for himself.  I know I just need to let him experience his feelings, but it really brings me down.  I have to find something to do to today to cheer him up.

    replyreport
34. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Is he feeling better today?

    replyreport
35. 60

    Drifter0658posted 15 years ago

    Good morning y'all.
    
    I'll be poppin' in and out all day. I seem to have some mighty big 'gators in the swamp today, and everyone last one of them are screaming something about a damned deadline.
    
    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." ~ Douglas Adams

    replyreport
36. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Good morning Drifter.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Good morning back at ya Wendi!

       replyreport
37. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Good morning especially to Daniel, glad your here, keep coming back,we hope you do!!!!!! Thanks for coming in the first place

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Havin' a good day Chocolate.....er.....Kimberly?

       replyreport
       1. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Not bad thanks, tired, ate chocolate all night long -kinds stuffed if you know what I mean.

          replyreport
38. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Goodnight y'all gotta get some sleep it's been 24 hours, I'll be back soon
    miss me I hope.

    replyreport
39. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Now I still can't sleep - anyone bored and wanna chat or should I work on my Hub - why is it so quiet again hmgr:(

    replyreport
    1. 56

       The Ramblerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hi, I'm new here on HubPages. Why can't you sleep?
       I'm a little depressed right now. I think it's the season change and I'm missing cigarettes. I quit 25 days ago. I'm in AA, also.
       I need some new hobbies. Write back if you are still awake and we can chat some more if you want.

       replyreport
       1. 0

          Wendi Mposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Hi rambler...welcome!
          
          My name is Wendi and it's nice to (sort of) meet you.

          replyreport
          1. 56

             The Ramblerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Hey, Wendi. My real name is Tamara. I live in Illinois. I know what you mean about Technology. It's great, but only when it works. I need to take a class in beginning PC. I feel technologically stunted because when I went to school they didn't teach us about computers. There's so much I need to learn to be able to navigate this here dinosaur that I own. Serenity Prayer works, though. I wish it worked faster sometimes.
             I'm working on my fourth step right now.
             But keep venting. It works.

             replyreport
       2. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Welcome -so glad your here, can't sleep I think because my mind just keeps spinning with thoughts or really fears. Thanks for asking and way to go on the smokes - I am not ready yet, crack was hard enough   Hope to one day soon though
          Kimberly

          replyreport
          1. 56

             The Ramblerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Hey, Kimberly,
             Thanks for the welcome. My name is Tamara. I know all about the racing thoughts. I feel the change of weather is really hard right now. Congrats on getting clean. My husband is in recovery too, but he used to use crack, so I heard all about it.
             It doesn't really matter what we used anyway. Because the vehicle for getting high is just that. It's simply the kind of car we preferred to drive when we got behind the wheel. But we all had the same destination in mind when we got in.

             replyreport
             1. 0

                lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                so well said or written, either way, cheers

                replyreport
       3. 72

          lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Hey, Rambler-
          I also quit smoking for 3 months this summer and loved being a non-smoker.  Here's the problem-I relapsed.  I knew I was going to smoke again in the back of my mind.  My advice I suppose is to keep away from smoking products and behavior.  My hubby smokes, so it was easy to go back to it.  I am so mad at myself, oh, well, I know I can quit again, I did it before.
          25 days is awesome-do you know how many changes your body has already gone through?  Blood Pressure, etc., have all gotten so much better-check it out on the Internet.  I think your 25 days may just be the inspiration I need to try again!
          I am also a recovering alcoholic-it is hard for us, but keep coming back...HERE!  Kimberly has a dedication to recovery that is priceless!
          Laurel
          PS: Don't give up, Rambler, it is worth it.

          replyreport
          1. 0

             lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             lorlie is right, it's worth it and we love having you here

             replyreport
             1. 56

                The Ramblerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Hey, Laurel,
                Thanks for the words of encouragement. I've been an on-again/off-again smoker for several years. But my other addictions would cause enough issues that I would go back to smoking again. It's been two and a half years since I drank or used a sedative, so it was time because I was truly a heavy smoker as in 2 and a half packs a day. I've been chewing the gum and it helps, but I still miss smoking. Your comments were quite helpful since some of the benefits aren't visible yet.
                I wasn't a cougher, so alot of it was the shortness of breath and the fatigue. Those are gone, but I need to get out and run again, so I can see how much better my lungs perform. What can I say? I'm an impatient addict. lol.
                My husband quit smoking before me, but he chews now, so we'll see if he quits that now that he doesn't have me for an excuse to keep dipping.
                He said give him thirty days after I quit, so he's got a week left.
                The fact that your husband smokes is tough. Would he go outside to smoke if he doesn't already?
                Don't worry about it right now if it's too much. You'll know when you're ready. I just had enough.
                It is harder sometimes for us Alcoholics for sure.
                But we're stubborn, aren't we??? lol

                replyreport
                1. 72

                   lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   LOLLOLLOL-ME?  Impatient?  Stubborn?  You, my dear, have got me pegged!  Thanks for reminding me today of those most glaring character defects...esp. impatience.  You are awesome...
                   We do now only smoke outside, which helps.  That's one thing we decided to keep 'in force' even after I started again.  The house smells a helluva lot better, and I certainly don't smoke as much as I used to out there.  I love this forum and HubPages too much even to get a smoke in!  LOL

                   replyreport
          2. 60

             Green Lotusposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Regarding smoking....Good for you! Quitting is tough. I quit a couple of years ago and nearly went crazy. We didn't have electronic cigarettes back then, or at least they weren't as widely known. My husband was luckier and he was able to quit cold just last month. He's using Green Smoke e-cigarettes. It's a miracle, he smoked since he was a teeager and he's not going through any withdrawal! If you're interested, I wrote a few hubs on the subject beginning with http://hubpages.com/hub/smoke_free_living.
             
             xxx
             GL

             replyreport
             1. 72

                lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                I quit smoking this summer in order to 'qualify' for hip surgery.  About 4 weeks later, I relapsed.  Now, I am scheduled for the other hip replacement, so this time, I plan to make it stick. 
                Green Lotus, are Green Smoke e-cigs a brand?

                replyreport
                1. 60

                   Green Lotusposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   Yes they are a brand. I tested several e-cigarette brands including Blu Smoke and Smoking Everywhere. Green Smoke has been tested for safety, has the most vapor of any e-cigarette. Also, great customer service. I've got a link on my e-cig hub. Thanks Lorlie, I've just joined your fan club too!

                   replyreport
                   1. 0

                      lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      Hi Green, so glad your here, welcome 

                      replyreport
                   2. 72

                      lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      Thanks so much!  I will be looking for those Green Smokes on your hub.

                      replyreport
                2. 0

                   lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   Cig's might in fact be the hardest addictive substance there is.I haven't been able to kick it and here in Toronto, they are $10.00 a pack! NUTS!
                   
                   I just want to say as long as yo keep trying, then your doing the best you can and that's enough 

                   replyreport
    2. 0

       Wendi Mposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Might as well chat..totally frustrated today!
       
       I've been trying (for a whole day now) to find a way to convert my jpg files into a wmv format.  I used to think I was pretty good with computers...starting to get really irritated.
       
       Ok, I just stopped to breathe and...
       
       God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change...
       Courage to the the things I can, and
       Wisdom to know the difference.
       
       And please turn that switch back on (in my brain) that allows me to function without screaming at a flat screen...the screen doesn't really seem phased by my outbursts!
       
       Ok, that's my vent for the day!

       replyreport
       1. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Vent girl vent, that's why we are here

          replyreport
40. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    I have to get this out and maybe then i'll sleep.
    
    I am struggling. Legitimate all these concerns but I can't seem to validate my fears and allow myself to feel the truth which is my family will only ever see me as an addict first and I am not my disease, I just have one.   I am a daughter, aunt, cousin, sister, mother, girlfriend, granddaughter..... you get the idea. But not to any of them.  Not one.
    
    My sister won't let me see her nieces because she fears me going out again.
    
    My sister just now after 3 years has contacted me,stating with caution, not trusting I'll stay clean.
    
    My mother just contacted me again after 3 years asking me how can she possibly look at me when she can't help me and I could hurt her again by start using again.
    
    My grandmother sent me $40.00 for my birthday and asked if this was enough money to buy drugs because she doesn't want to be buying my drugs
    
    My cousin just..........3 years asking if I was stable enough to meeet her for coffee but not to tell my aunt
    
    My father has stopped talking to me at 24 years sober because he said I'm lying anyways about being clean.
    
    My stepmother calls me a polly Anna seeking attention and to stay far away from my father.
    
    My brother said he just can't handle the whole situation.
    
    and on and on and on,et they all contacted me.
    
    I know I created these feelings in them but do I forever have to be punished.  I mean I'm sick not bad.  And they're all aware of recovery cause they're all in it.  The best amend I am capable of right now is a living amend, I do the best I possibly can each day. Far from perfect but just keeping my head above water is enough right now. 
    
    With my mental illness I am struggling with cocktails of medications and I believe it is the mental illness behaviors that frighten my family more than the addiction. It's easier to blame addiction and stay in denial of my mental illness for them.  I need to keep my distance but it's hard having no family or friends while I recover from both challenges.
    
    Thanks I hope I sleep soon.  Lack of sleep is really bad for my illness.

    replyreport
    1. 56

       The Ramblerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I know about having a mental illness, but, technically, it's just another disease, because lest we forget, addiction is a mental illness too. Dare I ask what mental illness?
       Family can be toxic. After all, it's a family disease, they say.

       replyreport
       1. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I am bi-polar with borderline personality disorder and ADD

          replyreport
          1. 56

             The Ramblerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             I have Bi-polar type 2. So, hang in there.
             It's taken awhile for me to understand how my other mental illness feeds on the illness of addiction and how it affected my behavior over the years, and then to figure out how best to deal with it while sober and working the program.

             replyreport
             1. 0

                lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                I agree, thanks

                replyreport
          2. 0

             Wendi Mposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             I am into my 3rd year of recovery, and it's taken me until now to feel completely comfortable with myself. So I imagine that I might have made it a little difficult for others to feel completely at ease around me.
             
             The more I open up, and just let things go, the more I can see that my family and loved ones do accept me (have all along really)...just didn't understand!
             
             Anything worthwhile takes time!  You're doing great, just keep on trucking and (I know better than most, that this is a tough one) try to just worry about you for now!

             replyreport
             1. 0

                lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Thanks Wendi

                replyreport
    2. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Kimberly~
       My diagnosis of BPD and anxiety disorders came only a few months ago, but as I look back on my life I see how particularly mania has impacted my family relationships.  Well, depression, too, but I get so incredibly egoistic and superior when I'm manic that I have managed to alienate almost all of them. 
       Most have died, unfortunately, so I can't make any amends, which I feel I should do regarding Bi-Polar.  I mean I have stolen from them just to steal...things like that.  Not for drugs, but just to do it, to get away with it.
       Anyway, honey, addiction and mental illness are interwoven so tightly, it's hard to communicate this to loved ones when we ourselves are unable to really 'get it', you know?

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Drifter0658posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Sometimes it is tough. Really tough. The most that we can hope for is that WE know what is genuine in our actions and intentions.
          
          Yes, we have hurt those we have loved, and we know that we would forgive them tenfold for any similar transgressions, but we cannot rely on ANYONE to feel the same way we do. We can only trust ourselves most of the time. We can only trust those who understand and care ALL of the time.
          
          Sleep well, Angel

          replyreport
       2. 0

          lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks and my expectations are too high that they understand it.  How can you if you don't have it yourself.
          Thanks Again

          replyreport
41. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Nice to meet you Tamara, I just became your first fan 

    replyreport
42. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Try to put your mind at ease and get some sleep!

    replyreport
    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       thanks, i hope soon girlfriend, my new hubuddy

       replyreport
43. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    I actually don't agree that addiction and mental illness are deeply interwoven.  Being a clinical social worker and having worked with lots of addicts, the 2 don't necessarily go hand in hand.  No doubt, chronic drug and/or alcohol use deprives the brain of necessary neurotransmitters (dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin especially), so after prolonged use an addict is no doubt in a horrific mental state.  But, many addicts are not dually diagnosed.  I, myself, definitely used alcohol and narcotics to "treat" my clinical depression, however.  But, there are plenty of addicts that don't have preexisting mental illness.  Thought I'd put in my 2 cents...

    replyreport
    1. 72

       lorlie6posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for the cents, wordscribe-I should have qualified my assertions.  I have seen so many people in recovery that are dually diagnosed that it seems overwhelming, and in my case, perhaps causal. 
       As a child, I was launched into bizarre situations that 'taught' me anxious responses were beneficial, and drugs became the solution for me in later life. 
       But you're right, there are addicts that are only addicts, I just see so many here that have much more going on!

       replyreport
44. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Okay going to try and sleep again -funny how the traffic goes in waves in here, it's very quiet in here again, but damnit, it's staying alive if I have to post a smiley face every 2 hours in between waves.
    
    hopefully goodnight
    
    

    replyreport
45. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    PS-Thanks for the help today
    
    

    replyreport
46. 60

    CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

    Hi everyone - Got my hubby out of the house today.  He seems a little better.  I needed to get him out of his head.  Each day gets better - as they say "this too shall pass".

    replyreport
47. 0

    Wendi Mposted 15 years ago

    Where did you guys go?

    replyreport
48. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Hey you two - good to see somebody in here - especially sisters

    replyreport
    1. 0

       wordscribe41posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You're never going to sleep again!    Hi, Wendi and Cheri, I'm Laura (aka Wordscribe) and I'm an alcoholic.  Good to see you all here.  Being homebound is very difficult, I'm sorry, Cheri, I hope this site helps a little.

       replyreport
49. 60

    CheriAmalfiposted 15 years ago

    We went top the Christmas Tree Shop and Cobblestone's down in Concord.  Michael picked up a bunch of reading material at Borders.  I got to decorate the house in Halloween stuff.

    replyreport
50. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    Now that sounds fun-must have helped both of you-so glad

    replyreport