How do you manage your anger when dealing with your own children? Is it effective?
I repeat over and over to myself that I am the adult, and that adults should not behave badly because it does nothing but teach the kids to act the same way. Kids are so skillful at pushing adults' buttons! I just keep reminding myself over and over that I am the adult, and I will not allow them to manipulate me into destructive behavior. Kids are still learning. They have not been on this earth very long and need our patience, understanding and guidance. They not are trying to make us angy on purpose (well, usually they're not, lol).
I do not have children, but I have been very active in the development of children, and mostly my nephews and nieces. Due to the fact that you are asking the question to those who have their own children, I do not think My answer will be a valid one. I would be looking for other questions you might have.
It's hard to talk when one is on the verge of anger...Anger is a healthy feeling but the question is what do you do if you're angry? Before i used to lambaste them with hurting words just to let them know how angry I am without knowing I have wounded them so much they cowered and lost their ability to assert themselves thus, build in themselves passivity which is very damaging on their ego...I am undergoing, debriefing myself so as to express myself in a healthy way, and letting them understand that all emotions are healthy as long as it don't reach to its extremity...
We do get angry when children misbehave and emotional as well. We must remember to address the act and not make it personal. It is the character we are trying to shape and that requires reasoning with appropriate consequences for the wrong choices made. Never discipline a child when you are angry because it will only lead to parent-child misunderstandings. Express your disappointment, send them to a neutral area (like their room) and tell them you will talk about it in a few minutes. I know this is hard to do. It takes some practice but it does work.
simply keeping in mind that they are children & can do mistakes or make faults but we are adult & quite mature ....so its our responsibility to settle the problem & pacify them with our coolness maintained!
I remind myself of the fact that I too was a child and how my parents brought me up with a loving but a stern hand. They corrected me and showed me what is right and what is wrong, all with love and care. I recall all this and am up and running day after day.
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