Would you like to befriend someone who compares herself to you?

1. 46

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   Would you  like to  befriend someone who compares herself to you?
   
   She compares herself to me and I  sometimes get annoyed with her behavior. How would approach such a situation?

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2. 71

   tsmogposted 10 years ago

   An interesting question. I think so with understanding befriend in contrast as forming a friendship. Opportunity would exist with the befriending to show the contrast of what is not appreciated with behavior.
   
   Sometimes a little thinking how to demonstrate or even a casual chat while doing something together task orientated helps. I find it amazing how casual chats while working opens the mind to contemplation and acceptance of differing views. Another thing is maybe pointing out the behavior with another in the distance opens pondering for the person. Then maybe fate changes course.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Greatly thought of thank you for sharing your mind here. People have different characters coping with them is up to us.

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3. 77

   MarleneBposted 10 years ago

   I had that happen to me. This one woman kept calling herself my best friend. She would follow me around and dress like me, wear her hair like me, and try to talk like me. She kept trying to give me gifts. I wouldn't take them. One time I saw her sitting outside my home. I don't know what the best thing to do is, but cutting that person completely off is (in my mind) the best thing for me. I ended up moving out of the area and didn't tell anyone where I moved. She kept trying to find out, but since none of my past friends knew where I lived, they couldn't answer her. I got a P.O. Box for communication and kept my previous phone number with the previous prefix so she would not be able to find me through the prefix. I don't feel like I was in any danger, but it is quite annoying. And, then again, you never know just how far a person will go to get "into" your life.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hmm that sounds like you were stalked my gal.  Well glad to know you got away from her. Thank  ou for sharing your story here.

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   m abdullah javedposted 10 years ago

   Hi DDE
   I think you should improve yourself from the aspect that changes your behaviour, because a friend reflects a friend's character. Being a true friend we should strongly believe that someone maintains distance only when our weakness overlap the strength. Be realistic and try to be comfort of her eyes and solace to heart.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      m abdullah javed , I chose your answer for my best one you said it  so perfectly. I  will focus on my greater strengths as always. .Thank you

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   lisavanvorstposted 10 years ago

   No. I prefer to be around people with different personalities. I feel that opposites attract and those with different opinions, hobbies and views are more interesting. I am who I am and do not need another me to talk to.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well thought of and  another true thought. Thank you.

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   Lisa HWposted 10 years ago

   I'd think it depends on how, exactly, she compares herself and her general motivations.  I've had times when a friend (or someone else) has different preferences/ways than I do; and I may have seemed to be "comparing" if said something like, "You always like the blue stuff, and yet again I like the green."    If I said something like that as part of my enjoying our differences I can imagine how the person who doesn't enjoy differences might see that as something akin to criticizing.
   
   On the other hand, if your friend is often saying things like, "Oh, you got the bargain car. I only want top-of-the-line, myself" that might be a whole other kind of comparing.
   
   I think a person would have to reserve judgment without really knowing the situation and people involved.  Giving the friend the chance to explain why she so often seems to compare might clear up unnecessary misunderstanding - or, of course, not.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting points made but when she keeps on buying to compare her dressing to mine that can be most annoying. Thank you.

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   Diana Leeposted 10 years ago

   I think you should be flattered by it. She must think very highly of you to want to be your double. Maybe by befriending her you can help her find her own good points and her own style.  The copy cat effect may stop.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Nicely said and I like that line''I think you should be flattered by it.'' Thank you.

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   CrisSpposted 10 years ago

   Maybe but I'll certainly be annoyed so, I'll keep a bit of distance.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi you  have point there. ''Maybe but I'll certainly be annoyed so, I'll keep a bit of distance.'' Thank you.

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9. 61

   Penny Gposted 10 years ago

   Have a heart. You may be the only thing keeping her from going the wrong way.

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