What would your response be if your adult child informed you that he/she does not intend to have
any children i.e. electing to be childfree?
But what about ME? What about MY dynasty? What about MY plans to be head of a growing family? Who's going to take care of ME in my old age? What about MY need to be king of the family? What about ME?
I'd be perfectly fine with my adult child not having children and I'd be perfectly fine with my adult child having children. My adult child is an adult who I respect as a person and a child. I don't own him and will not use family shackles to bind him to some sort of pathetic fiefdom.
P.S. I dearly love my granddaughter, who I also respect as an adult who makes her own decisions.
Hello Grace......The decision to have children or not is an individual and personal choice. My response as their mother would be one of support and understanding, as with the vast majority of their choices.
Being a parent is simply not for everyone and there is absolutely no reason for a young couple to feel a sense of obligation to bring a child into the world, once they have made a choice they feel is best for them.
For quite a while I believed my eldest son & his wife would be childless and I respected this without question. They owed me no explanation and it simply was never an issue for discussion.
For years they were focused on their careers and their marriage, with no desire to include a child.
After several years of establishing their lifestyle as they chose and having very successful careers, they then decided to have an only child, my precious grand daughter. My son finally became a Dad at age 40, his wife just a couple of years younger and they are perfectly content with this. As for Grandma, i WAS THRILLED, but certainly would have been happy for them, regardless of their choice.
Since I have no children, and never intended to have any, I can't answer the original question. But I do have a story...
My mother once told me I was selfish for not having children, since, as an only child, I was the only person who could give her grandchildren. She said I was depriving her, and my father, of the chance to be grandparents.
My response? That perhaps she should have considered having more children, since putting the burden of bearing her grandchildren on one offspring was unreasonable. And, that since she and my father were still healthy and fit, she could certainly still adopt children, with the hope that they might give her grandchildren.
Seriously. This was a real conversation.
I do have young Adults with no children and they are not crying about it, I get a chance to see both sides of the results as a mother and a grandmother, the ones that do not have the freedom to go and come as they please, there is nothing holding them back in education, and most important in my family spiritual education, they have their own little problems in life. But caring for children is not on their list, I have three that are childless
In their 20 and 30 's , even though I am proud of all my children time came and gone so fast when I had my own.
You are not stuck your whole life raising children, but you are to use your time wisely in the small amount of years raising them to be a wonderful contribution to life for them self and family and the human society.
Reference Bible Ps 127:3 Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah; The fruitage of the belly is a reward.
I have no biological children, but I teach for a living, so I feel like I have dozens, and perhaps hundreds, of nonbiological children. I would fully expect the choice to procreate to be in the hands of my son or daughter as well, and would likely applaud their decision not to have children, helping to curb population growth.
When my children were young adults, although I would have liked grandchildren, I never asked, suggested or pestered them to have children. I was quite relaxed about it - if they wanted children, fine, if they didn't want children, also fine.
As it transpired, they both had children and I now have five grandchildren, and wonder whether I will ever be a great grandmother, now three of them are in their twenties and showing no sign of settling down. Even my two stepchildren are not showing any child-producing proclivities - maybe it's just not such an issue nowadays.
by Grace Marguerite Williams3 years ago
What would your response be if your adult child informed you that he/she informed you thathe/she INTENDS to have a large/very large family(6 or more kids), knowing fully well the negative impacts financially,...
by Grace Marguerite Williams2 years ago
To religious parents out there, what would your response be if your adult child informed you thathe/she was an atheist/agnostic or other non-traditionalist e.g. a None(no religious affliliation at all but believes...
by dje715 months ago
There are a lot of discussions in forums by dads desperately wanting to be "dad" to their estranged children. My take on it is different; I used to be one of those dads.The mother of my daughter and I...
by Hypersapien3 years ago
How should parents deal with lazy, unemployed, still-live-with-Mom-and-Dad adult children?It's one thing if your child loses his job and has to move back home, but how do you deal with one that won't even look for work,...
by Longhunter7 years ago
After fourteen years of verbal abuse and lies from my daughter (this started when she was 13) toward me and my side of the family, my parents have disowned her. I'm now in the process of doing the same.Simply put, she...
by Theresa Ford5 years ago
How would you handle an adult child living at home and living an alternative lifestyle?How would you handle an adult child living at home with a younger sibling and openly living an alternative lifestyle?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.