Why do people fear being alone?
Loneliness can't be the sole answer, because there are many people who are surrounded by family, friends and loved ones and still feel lonely and unfulfilled. Why do many avoid being alone at all costs - even by drowning out the silence with noise when they are home alone etc? What is the deeper fear there?
Because of the devils inside which rule the state of someones loneliness whose actions are more vulnerable when the mind is not occupied.
Vulnerability, perhaps. The fear that something could "happen to them" that they feel they alone could be insufficient to deal with.
How about Boredom? The need to be stimulated by interaction with other people for themselves to be "interesting".
I believe the root of this question stems from being rejected or abandoned. Loss as well can trigger deep feelings of loneliness. Loss of someone near, dear, or young love thwarted by circumstances out of our control. A young person is scarred emotionally when someone they plan to marry is yanked away from them, through whatever, and the person they love does not reach over or beyond the barrier to re-attach. This can deepen the chasm.
The primary or first experience with fearing being alone also can stem from youth and being left somewhere and developing almost insane levels of insecurity, and not being able to over come it, Not being able to work through natural and human events of rejection, intentional or not.
People fear being alone because if something happens to them, they got no one to look after them or care for them. A lot of elderly people live alone in their own homes and they are very frightened that if they become ill, no one will take them to hospital or to the doctor. They are lucky if they got good friends, relatives or neighbours to go and see them once and a while. Another reason is people always belong to a family but some people have no one or have no relations at all like the orphans. It is sad but it does happen.
I don't know. I used to be one of those people, and I can't explain why unless it was just immaturity. After years of rearing children, being a single parent, and then finally finding someone with whom I feel secure, I don't have that feeling anymore. If I lost my husband, I would be sad but I wouldn't feel "alone" the way I did before I met him. I would never marry again, not out of love for him, but because I don't think I would feel the need.
My first husband couldn't stand to be alone. He dated while we were separated, and finally, after eight months of contesting our divorce, he gave me the ultimatum to either come back or he would marry his girlfriend. I refused. I got my divorce decree in the mail on Wednesday, the day they got back from their honeymoon, and then I looked at the date the judge signed the papers. The EX was so afraid of being alone he somehow got the judge out to sign it on a Saturday. They've been married for 42 years and have one son, and he has told me repeatedly that he regrets marrying her in haste.
I stuck out being alone for 10 years until I found the right person. I think it is one of those things that sometimes can't be explained, unless it is a matter of not being content.
Both a challenging question and one of perspective. I tend to contrast being alone with feeling lonely. The answer I wrote became too long, so copy/pasted to my Hubber Interaction file for a possible.
The quick of it is I have lived alone most of my adult life, although I really have not felt loneliness. I have feelings of loneliness mostly when with 'people' who point out I live alone, however at that moment I am not alone. Gives pause to ponder.
I will consider the hub later today :-)
I see this all the time. Unfortunately for those that are afraid of being alone having a miserable relationship is even more damaging. I see people do this on a regular basis. They want to get a divorce, but after a few weeks of being alone they return back to their partner that they could not stand. Sometimes even worse they rebound and find new horrible partner. I never minded being alone when I was single. However, if you are with the right partner it is a cherished experience.
Many people have been conditioned that one must always be around people. Our society is an extroverted one and thus emphasizes, even glorifies socializing, mingling, and any activity which centers being around people. People who are more comfortable being alone are viewed as suspect, even abnormal. Being alone and not preferring the company of people is oftentimes demonized in our extroverted culture.
Children and people who are more introverted are pressured to mingle-to get involved with activities although they are not interested in such activities, even preferring more solitary pursuits. Many times people want to be galvanizing because they are fearful of introspection. People really hate to be alone with themselves. They may even consider such to be selfish, even wasteful. They would rather engage in mindless social activities than to spend more constructive time in solitude, developing themselves emotionally, mentally, and psychologically.
Then it is a familial thing. Our sibling society and culture emphasizes socializing and mingling. In multichild, particularly large/very large families, children are pressured to be part of the group while individual pursuits and talents are discouraged. That explains why people from large/very large families particularly DO NOT like being alone and MUST be with people. It seems that people from large/very large families have a phobia of being alone.
Only children are encouraged to be alone. In fact, only children view being alone as a way of life. They feel that they can think, read, and be introspective. They also feel more creative when they are alone. Children from small families (1-2 children per family) are encouraged to have private and me time for parents of such families realize how important that privacy and me time have in a person's development. This results in people from small families feeling very comfortable being by themselves and pursuing solitary activities and hobbies.
The fear of being alone is an inborn feeling in case of most of the people. It is a feeling that comes from natural instinct. Obviously there are many reasons behind it. Let’s start from childhood. Can you think a child who is not scared to go into the dark alone? Which child will not be scared if he/she is locked in the bathroom alone as a punishment?
Then come to the age of teen. The teenagers are not well experienced about the different challenges of the world. So whenever they face a difficult situation they try to get out from there by getting the help of someone. If they don’t find any assistance, they become frustrated and got into bad people’s assistance. It is a most common scenario in the modern society.
Then let’s come to the married life. Why do people marry? It is because they want somebody as life partner who will be with him/her in their good and bad times for the rest of the life. That’s why the concept of family is very much important.
Finally come to the old age. You have no strength in your health and it is hard even to move from one place to another. Who will not want somebody around in this situation?
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