Living together then marriage or marriage then live together! That is the questi

1. 68

   Martyn Wrightposted 12 years ago

   Living together then marriage or marriage then live together! That is the question.
   
   Families have changed in the last several decades. Instead of getting married, many people are living together or 'cohabiting'. Some of these cohabitating couples eventually get married. Many of them break up. Very few stay together as cohabitants for long.It seems more and more couples these days live together as though to test the water then if it works out they have a wedding! Is cohabitation a good alternative to marriage? Is it a good way to 'test out' the relationship? If you know you are right for each other would it not be prudent to marry first then live together. 
   
   

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2. 61

   Josakposted 12 years ago

   How can you possibly know if you will be able to work as a married couple if you have not lived together, many couples find they drive each other insane, there is a big difference between loving someone on a few dates and being able to love them for the rest of your life, it's always better to test it first before tying yourselves together with no knowledge of if it will work.

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I am with you Josak.    If a couple is contemplating marriage, it is wise to live together first.   That way they will know each other in their utter realness.    They will know of their compatibility in personalities and in other arenas.

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3. 66

   Rebecca2904posted 12 years ago

   I agree with Josak - if you haven't lived with someone, can you really say that you know them very well? You might get along like a house on fire when you go out, but there might be a million little things that they do at home that drive you to distraction, for example not tidying up after themselves, not making very much time for you.... the list goes on and on really. So you might think that you love someone only to realise you're actually not that compatible and that you don't get along when you live together.
   The couples you mentioned who live together before marriage only to break up... surely they'd only end up getting divorced if they'd got married first, which surely would me more drawn-out, difficult, and would cause everyone even more pain.

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4. 73

   moonfairyposted 12 years ago

   I agree with the two answers given. Living together first is the smart thing to do....people tend to put their best foot forward when on the dating scene. Living together brings out the real them and a chance to see whether or not you're really compatible....

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5. 61

   KK Trainorposted 12 years ago

   Wow, I may be the lone wolf here but I didn't live with my husband before marriage and we've been married for 12 happy years. We only knew each other for two months when we got engaged and then got married the next week. So maybe it's a fluke, but it's worked out just fine.
   People who live together first get divorced 50% of the time too, so what's the difference?

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