Which one is bigger to forgive or say sorry to some one?
Why do not we accept our mistake and say sorry for that if we are wrong?
Yes, I do agreed that most people find hard to say I am sorry. But to me, if I am wrong in whatever I am doing, I will definitely say I am sorry. It is part of my life learning that we should accept faults and admit it.
Oftentimes people say I'm sorry so much, that it is easy for them and it is without meaning. However, to truly forgive takes more than most people are able to offer.
I think it is far too easy to say sorry, but true forgiveness takes a whole lot of effort, especially if the wrong done against you was significant. It is all too easy to hold a grudge, and most who do regret it once they realise it is too late to put things right.
Pride and ego can make both choices difficult for a lot of people.
However it is said that we (forgive) for ourselves. The act of forgiveness frees us from dwelling on the hurt that was caused. You can choose to forgive someone and decide to no longer associate with them.
A creditor can (forgive a loan) meaning they are no longer going to pursue getting the money back from you but they will not be extending you any new credit.
Personally speaking I believe coming clean and admitting you were wrong and truly feel bad about your actions is probably the most difficult. Afterwards you have no control over how the other person will react. This causes you to feel uneasy after the admission.
Not every mistake is a "mistake". Forgetting to dot an (i) or cross a (t) is a mistake or making a right turn when you meant to turn left, forgetting to bring something to an event ....(these are all mistakes).
Breaking a promise, cheating, lying, or misleading someone are "deliberate" actions one (knowingly) chose to do.
A "mistake" in my opinion is (unintentional).
In my mind saying that you are sorry is akin to saying that you regret getting caught for something. It is often hard to say you are sorry, although when the evidence is there in front of you, it is harder to deny. Sorry also focuses on the behavior and not the person.
I would say that it is 'bigger' to forgive. In forgiving, you are choosing to forgo emotionally punishing someone for a wrong. You may be fully entitled to reject and punish them, although by forgiving them, you are releasing them from the emotional paybacks. Forgiveness deals with the emotional side of wrongs. It also works best when you forgive the person and not the behavior. Since some wrongs are so heinous, they can be forgiven, yet still need to face consequences such as child abuse, rape, murder and other such heinous acts.
It often takes a lot to forgive the person who wrongs you.
Forgiveness is mostly for self, while apologizing is mostly for the one who made the mistake. A burden is lifted for each when they do for self. However, both forgiveness and apologies do help the other party greatly as well.
I had my first boyfriend at 15/16. At the end of our relationship, he was very mean and cold. I didn't understand it, and my heart was broken for two years. I was angry too. It took a few years for me to overcome, but I finally forgave him. Thirty years later (just this year), he contacted me and actually apologized. At this point in my life, I really didn't think about it as I had forgiven him long ago. But, since he did apologize (even after all these years), there was some kind of relief in me. Maybe just knowing that he had a change of heart made me have relief for him.
You can't have one actually work without the other. You can forgive someone for doing something bad to you. Or you can say your sorry for hurting someone for any reason. But if the other person does not reciprocate in kind, then both are wasted efforts.
If we forgive someone who isn't sorry for what they did to hurt us, we are only pleasing ourselves by ridding ourselves of anger or resentment.
If we say we are sorry to someone for something we did to hurt them and they refuse to forgive us we are still the winners for apologizing.
If someone apologizes to us for something they did to hurt us and we do not forgive them, we are only hurting ourselves.
If we do something to someone who forgives us for doing it, and we are not sorry for doing them harm, we are still the losers.
So which ever way we look at it, one cannot work without the other to reach an amicably conclusion.
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