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Vulnerability Is Not For Everyone

Updated on January 28, 2011

I wrote about vulnerability not being such a horrible word. A woman left me a really nice comment. She wrote, “I have kept my heart open and been through more heart breaks than anyone can imagine.” Those words were ongoing in my head for weeks to the point where I couldn’t get my words together to write. 

I spoke with another woman who was married for over 10 years to find out the love of her life was not always so honest. Now this was a face to face wrenching heart hurting conversation. I talked with another woman whose heart showed awful pain that was easily recognized in her voice where she knows her mate doesn’t love her. She would love to accept the fact; however, due to her vulnerability to him all she is left with is severe hurting pain.


At times as a writer, when we write we write on our own life’s experiences, however, that can be very insensitive to so many of our dear readers. As a writer some topics have to be carefully thought out not to only take our own thoughts but to interject the thoughts and real life feelings of others.


With that, vulnerability depends on your own situation. Not everyone is out there to hurt but there are many people that put their own feelings at that exact moment before anyone else’s which usually is a selfish act and someone that doesn’t deserve it usually gets hurt. For some vulnerability is not a good thing, you open yourself up and possibly keep trying it a different way that typically can result in definite open heart hurt.


My wish is that people would not be so self centered and reflect on others before they make a selfish move. There are some beautiful people out there with an open innocent vulnerable heart that does not deserve to be hurt. Wouldn’t it be nice if some would really honestly think of the other person instead of only thinking of themselves and tearing someone’s heart right out of that persons’ chest.


I would sum it up by saying vulnerability really depends on your own relationship. You and only you know what you want and where your relationship is going. There are those that have to protect themselves from that inconsiderate hurt. You have to know yourself and know who you’re with. It’s not for everyone to leave themselves open. Sometimes that does lead to unforgettable hurt.


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    • Erin LeFey profile image

      Erin LeFey 6 years ago from Maryland

      thanks so much for writing this. I'm one of those that cringes and shakes when it comes to the word vulnerability. I just am not able to do it anymore. I have a physical and mental reaction to it and still talk to someone regularly about it. When a child learns over and over again that the stove will burn him when he touches the flame, he may go near the stove but he will not reach for the top. I've learned that lesson all too well, just how do you unlearn an autoresponse? Thanks so much for writing this.

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 6 years ago

      I enjoyed both your Hubs.

      Vulnerability is not a bad word it goes along with trust.

      Sometimes within a relationship you do get hurt, and deeply but if it is a repeating pattern relationship after relationship then maybe we need to choose carefully who we open our hearts to and look within ourselves to see the why's off it.

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 6 years ago from Guildford

      Ilovetowrite I so enjoyed reading your words here and totally agree with you. Some people can be totally selfish especially within a relationship. Lack of communication and trust can completely destroy a partnership. I guess some people are very vulnerable and put their trust totally in the one they love, only to be hurt, maybe unintentionally. I have had this unfortunate experience in the past. I guess it is true 'you always hurt the one you love'! Great hub and voting up.