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What do you do when you realize you married a jerk?


What do you do when you marry the "perfect" person and after the "new" wears off, you realize he/she is a jerk? Is it for better or worse or run for the door?

 
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Seek-n-Find profile image86

Best Answer Jenna Ditsch (Seek-n-Find) says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Seek-n-Find,

    Thank you, I feel like your words come from the heart and not a book. So much of what you have to say rings true. It is hard to fight your own depression, when you seek happiness from a depressed person? If that makes any sense?


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dashingscorpio profile image85

dashingscorpio says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    dashingscorpio,

    What do you suggest for someone who feels almost adapted to the unhealthy relationship and that it is less intimidating than ending it, leaving it and moving on? Do you think that it is hard to admit there may be no hope?


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Theophanes profile image94

Theophanes says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Theophanes,

    Thanks. I could've been more specific, but it's only a common-law kind of marriage anyway. I gave up ten years to a rotten relationship already and I just don't want to relive it again, but I also don't like giving up. Toxic =perfect word

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C L Grant (Marketing Merit) says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Marketing Merit,

    What is too much effort? Let's suppose this "person" has been in a previously failed relationship and is determined to make this one work? What do you do when you truly love someone and you put in a lot of effort and they aren't?

Lisa HW profile image82

Lisa HW says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Lisa HW,

    Can’t you love someone and think he is a jerk somewhat in part because you respect him and yet he shows an obvious lack of respect? Can you love and resent someone? What do you do when he doesn't see fault in being disprespectful/hurtful?


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William E Krill Jr (krillco) says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Krillco,

    Thank you. I agree that any relationship takes work. I would think it shoud be 50/50. What do you do when it's about 80/20 and he is happy with the relationship and doesn't see a problem?

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Alaina Smith Cain says

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4 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    "You need to sort out what's in your own mind before ever finding fault with him." Great advice! Too many people play the "blame game". Our lives are the result of (our) choices and decisions. Blaming others makes us powerless! I can only control me!


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Lor B (Junegirl58) says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Junegir58,

    Thanks for sharing so personally. Sometimes I think men can just be stubborn and it's frustrating. But, I don't like the lack of respect. You can be in a bad mood and even be a grouch without being disrespectful. We need to stand up someti

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Michael Ward (CrescentSkies) says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    That's too cute, and probably the first time I snickered today. Thanks

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Cat (Cantuhearmescream) says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    CJ,

    It is possible for a woman to not "play victim" and only want to know how to give the right love and get at least some form of love in return. I am no victim, I don't know how to fix a relationship that only one person sees as broken?


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CJ Sledgehammer says

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4 years ago
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    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    "only about 10% of those who get married should have." CJ, I think you are being generous with that percentage! lol! I agree with you that people don't invest enough time to get know a person BEFORE saying "I do." Everyone is "perfect" at the start!


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Old Empresario says

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4 years ago
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    Cat (Cantuhearmescream) 4 years ago

    Old Empresario,

    I hope that I shouldn’t take offense to that? He actually was just diagnosed with depression and he’s just kind of mean for no reason. I take his depression personally and I have always tried to please him, it just seems impossible