I have talked to my friends a lot about my trouble of moving on from my first serious relationship.
When I discussed it more with a therapist, I learned a few new things which I found very interesting.
Here's a little info first.
We started dating/seeing each other about 7 yrs ago. Our relatonship got seriouls after a year and was for 4yrs.
I left him due to some factors...almost 2 yrs ago.
Now I find it hard and never thought It would be this hard.
It may be that i miss something else besides him.
He was like a father figure to me, he was a lot older and really supportive and great advice
and my father wasn't there for me like that. I miss the safeness I felt and the "being taken care of"
My therapist told me to continue self soothing and keep busy, distraction etc. and friends.
It never occured to me that it was anything more than just being sad, but it makes a lot of sense!
moving on is not always an easy thing to do specially when that relationship helps you grow. Maybe the best thing you can do is to really keep yourself busy.
The end of a relationship is loosing and mourning. In between mourning and crying there must be a "ME" time. Walking is a great way to silence the mind and protect the heart. Having POSITIVE people around is always helpful. Also, believing in ourselves is a plus.
I went through it, too. Kept myself busy, all of that, but knew I had to cry and learn to be alone. That is tough! We've been apart now for 2 and a half years. I feel better, but I still miss him. Recently, I started writing a little about it.
Yes, keeping busy with friends and work seems to do the job. Breaking before the holidays like celebrities do might be the best since you know you will see family and friends. Do some shopping with them. I know from experience it is easier said than done.
It's never easy to move on but there's usually a solid reason for breaking up so remind yourself of why things ended. It may be tempting to want to go back to the relationship but as the saying goes "you can't go home again." No matter how hard you might try to make things "the way they were," they can never be the same because people change, times change, everything changes. The harder you try to recreate a certain time in your life, the less it works. Remember that when one door closes, it usually means that an even better one will open up down the road.
In my opinion, its very tough and serious matter. Move on after a break up is a thing that affects your activities and daily works. Just keep quite and busy yourself on social media or some creative work instead. Search a fellow who is best for you. Wait and see what happens in your life, if problem occurs for a long time, consult a relationship expert and take decisions accordingly.
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