My niece is seeing a guy who has kept in touch with all his exes. Is that OK?
I don't mean he just sends them a Xmas card - he's a wealthy guy who throws frequent barbecues, dinner parties etc. He has all his exes in his cellphone and they're all invited to these events, he gives them flowers on their birthdays and calls them to say hi. I'm concerned he's a collector - these women are notches on his belt. My niece wants to believe he's just a sweet guy who's very sociable. What do you think?
People with whom you share your life hold a special significance. I think its better to maintain relationships, if at all possible, with these people so you don't get caught up in your personal mythology about why it didn't work and who they were, etc. I am still friends with many of my exes and would invite them over and give them birthday gifts and such if they were in town!! His behavior could be the sign of a very mature man who uses his connections and wealth to bring people together in his life, maybe he invites them with the intent of introducing them to his other friends, you never know. It is, of course, possible that you're right and he simply chooses this behavior to keep these conquests in his life or to "keep the door open" so to speak. Either way, it is your niece's decision and problem. If you are truly concerned about her welfare, try to get to know the man a little and be honest about your reservations. Always come at it from the angle of love, honesty and openness. Don't be the "meddling aunt!" If your niece sees his behavior as positive than you might want to reconsider your position so you don't put doubt into her mind. I would be curious to know how long they've been dating...
It sounds like he doesn't know how to let go. I mean seriously, I'd be freaked out if every ex-boyfriend I had sent me flowers on my Birthday - my current boyfriend might not be impressed either! I have no idea how he would manage at his BBQ's with all of the ex-girlfriends in the one room together - most guys would find it a bit confronting! In saying that, he's an unmarried guy at the moment, and because you don't really know his history, you have to kind of give him the benefit of the doubt and hold off judgement for the sake of your niece. We all have different tastes, and so long as she's happy that's the main thing!
I answered you in a hub, Marisa. xo
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-neice-is-see … Is-that-OK
by brenda12lynette 6 years ago
How do you maintain relationships with long-distance friends?While technology has made keeping in touch with those friends from college a lot easier, it's still difficult to keep in touch. How do you maintain ties with friends who live far away?
by Michael Valencia 5 years ago
If you are in a relationship, do you think it is OK to be friends with your exes?
by Stu 6 years ago
I have always wondered how people cope with their significant other remaining very good friends with one of their exes? Thoughts?
by Jennifer McLeod 7 years ago
Should an ex remain an ex? Or can exes stay friends?
by Amanda S 6 years ago
How many friends have you kept in touch with since middle school?
by Joana e Bruno 7 years ago
Is it possible for exes to be friends?
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|