My niece is seeing a guy who has kept in touch with all his exes. Is that OK?
I don't mean he just sends them a Xmas card - he's a wealthy guy who throws frequent barbecues, dinner parties etc. He has all his exes in his cellphone and they're all invited to these events, he gives them flowers on their birthdays and calls them to say hi. I'm concerned he's a collector - these women are notches on his belt. My niece wants to believe he's just a sweet guy who's very sociable. What do you think?
People with whom you share your life hold a special significance. I think its better to maintain relationships, if at all possible, with these people so you don't get caught up in your personal mythology about why it didn't work and who they were, etc. I am still friends with many of my exes and would invite them over and give them birthday gifts and such if they were in town!! His behavior could be the sign of a very mature man who uses his connections and wealth to bring people together in his life, maybe he invites them with the intent of introducing them to his other friends, you never know. It is, of course, possible that you're right and he simply chooses this behavior to keep these conquests in his life or to "keep the door open" so to speak. Either way, it is your niece's decision and problem. If you are truly concerned about her welfare, try to get to know the man a little and be honest about your reservations. Always come at it from the angle of love, honesty and openness. Don't be the "meddling aunt!" If your niece sees his behavior as positive than you might want to reconsider your position so you don't put doubt into her mind. I would be curious to know how long they've been dating...
It sounds like he doesn't know how to let go. I mean seriously, I'd be freaked out if every ex-boyfriend I had sent me flowers on my Birthday - my current boyfriend might not be impressed either! I have no idea how he would manage at his BBQ's with all of the ex-girlfriends in the one room together - most guys would find it a bit confronting! In saying that, he's an unmarried guy at the moment, and because you don't really know his history, you have to kind of give him the benefit of the doubt and hold off judgement for the sake of your niece. We all have different tastes, and so long as she's happy that's the main thing!
I answered you in a hub, Marisa. xo
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-neice-is-see … Is-that-OK
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