after a year into our relationship he decided to leave me , the only answer he gave me was that
he has too much on his plate and he cant be consumed with thinking about me. i am devestated and want him back what should i do?
One possibility is asking him to attend evidence-based couple's counselling (emtion-focused-therapy or Gottman-based counselling), to see if the relationship can be salvaged or at least to get the best available help for you to adapt to relationship ending in a healthy way.
When he says "too much on" his "plate" he may be badly expressing that core-relationship needs are not being met. I'm a profesional counselor. Please take a look at my article to understand better where I'm coming from and feel free to post additional questions. I'll do my best to get you helpful information.
You put on your high heeled shoes, preferably red, you pull out your magic wand and you give this man what he wants. If his plate is too full to think about you, then so be it. You cannot make anyone want, need or love you. Don't spend your valulable time agonizing over someone who made it exceedingly, abundantly clear that he could not be the man that you need, want and desire.
The good news is, having too much on his plate will make him end up fat, old and ugly. Don't be devastated, don't even think that way, don't let anyone take your power away from you. Think about how fabulous you are and how there is no one else like you, even if you have an identical twin, you are still you and no one can take that away from you. And when you are reminding yourself how fabulous you are, remember there is a man out there looking for you right now. Now, go get back in the game! Best wishes.
I am sorry you are going through this! Breakups are so tough. Based on what you said, these are my thoughts. When he said he has too much on his plate, that suggests that your relationship was a low priority to him, as he likely could have given up something else. When he says he can't be consumed with thinking about you, that tells me he is being selfish! Or maybe he is just not willing/able to deal with the relationship. Now its hard to say because I don't know if anything else happened (in your relationship).
But it sounds like maybe this came up out of the blue? He could also be making an excuse and thinking "I have too much on my plate" would be a good reason to tell you.
Either way, I don't have a great impression of this guy. Obviously after dating him for a year you feel differently and I DO understand why you are devestated. But, you should try to think if you want him back because you miss what you thought you had or what you really had. If you really have a guy who thinks you are the first thing to go on his filled up plate, then you need to pick yourself up and believe that you will get someone who would never leave you no matter how much he had on his plate.
JayDee-I like that confidence building! Jenni, be sad for a while and grieve, and then get yourself back out there!
by Asahda Shavaja Poet of the New Age 3 years ago
At what point is it ok to REMAIN in a relationship where one is addicted to porn sites. It is getting a bit much. I am not an insecure person by any means, yet I can't help to think that this can't be healthy for our long term romance. Please advise me. I have never had to deal with someone...
by BobbiRant 17 months ago
Do you think doing too much for a guy in a relationship, turns him off?A friend told me that doing too much for a guy, his laundry, cooking, shopping, especially in a new relationship, can turn a guy off. She said the more he does for himself makes him feel better. Do you agree?
by StricktlyDating 5 years ago
How to tell some one politely not to text you so much?When someone you know is sms'ing you like 6 times every day. How would you tell them to cool down with them without seeming rude?
by MrsNouman 7 years ago
Is it possible to love someone too much?I don't mean obsession. I mean love so much that it exceeds love.
by Krissi87 7 years ago
Is fear a natural emotion for loving someone too much?
by bigmodo 10 months ago
How can i make my girlfriend fall crazy in love with me and never want to leave me?How can i make my girlfriend fall crazy in love with me and never want to leave me? I lost my girlfriend some few months ago to another guy, it happened like magic. Though it was my fault in some way, but now i got...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|