after a year into our relationship he decided to leave me , the only answer he g

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)
  1. jenni4768 profile image58
    jenni4768posted 9 years ago

    after a year into our relationship he decided to leave me , the only answer he gave me was that

    he has too much on his plate and he cant be consumed with thinking about me. i am devestated and want him back what should i do?

  2. ThunderKeys profile image65
    ThunderKeysposted 9 years ago

    One possibility is asking him to attend evidence-based couple's counselling (emtion-focused-therapy or Gottman-based counselling), to see if the relationship can be salvaged or at least to get the best available help for you to adapt to relationship ending in a healthy way.
    When he says "too much on" his "plate" he may be badly expressing that core-relationship needs are not being met. I'm a profesional counselor. Please take a look at my article to understand better where I'm coming from and feel free to post additional questions. I'll do my best to get you helpful information.

  3. JayDee Sterling profile image59
    JayDee Sterlingposted 9 years ago

    You put on your high heeled shoes, preferably red, you pull out your magic wand and you give this man what he wants.   If his plate is too full to think about you, then so be it.  You cannot make anyone want, need or love you.  Don't spend your valulable time agonizing over someone who made it exceedingly, abundantly clear that he could not be the man that you need, want and desire.

    The good news is, having too much on his plate will make him end up fat, old and ugly.  Don't be devastated, don't even think that way, don't let anyone take your power away from you. Think about how fabulous you are and how there is no one else like you, even if you have an identical twin, you are still you and no one can take that away from you.  And when you are reminding yourself how fabulous you are, remember there is a man out there looking for you right now.  Now, go get back in the game!  Best wishes.

  4. Becky532 profile image60
    Becky532posted 9 years ago

    Hi Jenni,
    I am sorry you are going through this! Breakups are so tough.  Based on what you said, these are my thoughts.  When he said he has too much on his plate, that suggests that your relationship was a low priority to him, as he likely could have given up something else.  When he says he can't be consumed with thinking about you, that tells me he is being selfish! Or maybe he is just not willing/able to deal with the relationship.  Now its hard to say because I don't know if anything else happened (in your relationship). 
    But it sounds like maybe this came up out of the blue? He could also be making an excuse and thinking "I have too much on my plate" would be a good reason to tell you. 
    Either way, I don't have a great impression of this guy. Obviously after dating him for a year you feel differently and I DO understand why you are devestated. But, you should try to think if you want him back because you miss what you thought you had or what you really had.  If you really have a guy who thinks you are the first thing to go on his filled up plate, then you need to pick yourself up and believe that you will get someone who would never leave you no matter how much he had on his plate.
    JayDee-I like that confidence building! Jenni, be sad for a while and grieve, and then get yourself back out there!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)