What do I do? My male friend's wife e-mailed me....
She said they're happily married and I need to go through her if I need to get in touch with him from now on. She obviously thinks I'm after him, but I'm not! So far I haven't even replied.
He'll find out what she's like without any help from you, don't worry about that! What a control freak. Yeah totally agreee with HattieMattieMae - just don't get involved.
Thanks for your feedback and suggestion! HattieMattieMae and Dandra, I love your profile pics! Did you find them online?
If you friendship is putting a strain on their marriage, IMHO you should not insist on staying in touch.
Obviously not that happy if she feels the need to monitor and control his mail!!
Would say the trust element is definetly missing.
However even if you do manage to get hold of your friend without going through wifey do not be surprised if he lets her get away with it, relationships like this often get blurry over what is ok and what is not!!
reply what she asked in a friendly way, just treat her as your friend.
I think you should reply to her and let her know how you feel about it. And if she still doesn't like it, its time you move on. Because sometimes its better to let people go or else you hurt feelings of someone else. And here it is a case of marriage, better back off.
My first husband had a female friend who would phone him all the time. It annoyed me a lot, I ended up telling her to find her own man and she backed off. In your situation I would respect what she has asked, however you could try putting yourself in her shoes and see what you feel about the situation.
Wow! She must be worried about her husband to do that. You said that she obviously thinks you're after him, but it seems more like she thinks he's after you! By telling you how happily married she is, incase he didn't. How funny. I would either ignore it and pretend you never received it. Or reply and say thankyou for your email, so nice to hear from you, say that you're happy that she's happily married and you're happy to contact her when you want to make plans with your friend, infact, make a plan with her so that you can catch up with your friend. Take this approach rather than putting anything alarming in your reply. Let her look like she's the bady and not you. She'll probably come around. It is her own insecurity about her husband she's trying to deal with.
I agree with strickly dating. If you are a friend it should not bother you that she emailed you. apparently she is having trust issues and insecurities that may hinder their marriage. If you guys claim to be friends then his wife should be your friend too. Maybe this is a way to get close to her as well. I know this is gonna sound odd but my exhusband is very very very close to his ex girlfriend much like brother and sister they talked all the time and did things together it boiled my blood and made me angry until I let my jealousy go and I just became her friend. Her and I have a very close bond like no other we are each others support and we kinda are like best friends creepy but true. Just send a email stating you understand and just include her maybe this is her way of reaching out to you and maybe she feels the need to talk to someone who knows him. Just my opinion. hope all works out for you! Best of luck....
Wow, maybe I need anger management because when I read that, I immediately put myself in your shoes and felt fire under my feet. To me it sounds like she either has some insecurity issues, or is just possessive (or maybe both) - Either way, it sounds like she is huffing and puffing at the wrong person. It's understandable that when you are married, you can't trust the outsiders, who knows what their intentions are, right?. However, at the same time, you should be trusting your mate and dealing with your issues internally. She has done nothing but make herself look like a jealous overprotective wife. Ultimately, what should you do? If you have willpower (unlike me), leave it alone. Good Luck!
You should tell her that her husband is SOOOO not your type, you like him only as a friend. And maybe talk a little more about how you could never imagine being romantic towards him ever. That might calm her down.
I like many of these answers.
But no one has asked this.
You may not be purring on the phone to him, but is he purring on the phone to you?
(You know what I mean.. and how would you like to overhear your husband purring at someone?)
That makes ALL the difference.
Well,the question here is your motive,and i believe,ma,that it's not to go after him,just let her know your motive,tell her you're a respected lady who doesn't go after people's husband,but hey,don't be rude.
Treat people the way you would want to be treated. Do you mind your husband or boyfriend having female friends who do not interact with you? Sometimes that kind of friendship can get too close for comfort. That is how affairs get started. Back off. Better yet, if the husband is a real man who loves his wife, he should take care of that himself. Backing off is better than getting your skull split. If you ever watch Investigation Discovery, you know what I mean. People can be crazy.
Some commenters said you should challenge her. Don't do that. It would make you look jealous and ready for a fight. If you are preparing to challenge the wife, then, you have gotten too close. Again, treat her the way you would want your husband female buddy to treat you. Most female friends lay down what they are not willing to take. Back off.
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