That is highly dependant on the "friendship" in the relationship not the relationship itself (i.e. the romance, the sex, etc...). If you can communicate with your partner and treat each other like a life long friend, a best friend, and can honestly say she's my best friend- above all others, then it DOES.
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years and we've not once had a fight, disagreements yes, but highly respectable and calm discussions ensued and respect was never damaged. We talk about everything, even things that irritate us but in a way that's not confrontational- it's truly magical when that happens. It's not time but the ability to communicate and respect each other beyond romance and what not that makes it work- the real glue is friendship.
"Love", " servitude", " compassion" "protection', 'defense", " trust" and "apprecitation" do.....indeed increase.
Passion, "rawness", excitement, exploration, take a secondary seat.
Younger people, do not yet know, that passion alone, can not make a MARRIAGE.
( wife of 30 years, in a world of 30 day marriages)
It can and does. But sometimes it suffers under the stresses of normal everyday life. People need to remember what brought them together in the first place. Sometimes, it's not love that brings people together though. Often it's money, power or social status.
That can go both ways, if the marriage was solid based on love (real love not hollywood reality tv lust love) going into it will the marriage will bring you closer and through the years different things that you go through will bond you more to each other. Through the tough times and good times you will appreciate each other more and more and your friendship will grow year after year and yes I believe you will love each other more the next year than you did the year before and the year after that more than you did the year before and so on and so on. If the marriage was not solid to begin with it will possibly go the complete opposite, finding your self less happy year after year.
It can! There is a phrase I believe is very true that says, "Intimacy breeds conflict breeds intimacy breeds conflict..." and so on. Love is a choice and act of the will--it is a position of the heart--a mindset and an attitude. The feelings of "being in love" for sure go up and down but love should increase if both people desire it and learn how to unconditionally and sacrificially love one another (and have GOOD communication!!!)
It depends on the individuals themselves, but I think it can. In arranged marriages the love often increases as the couple get to know each other better. In the Western world of dating and living together, marriages are often based on physical attraction but as time goes on the the passion wanes, real love often develops and grows. However, in Western culture, divorce is prevalent, and the time needed to nurture and grow love is very often unavailable.
LOVE you say,highly over rated my friend.Bio chemicaly no different than eating large amounts of chocolate!
if you've truly married your soulmate, love increases, decreases, swirls, spins, lays flat, undulates and everything else in between. The depth of the love increases for sure, but It's crazy. I remember a movie a long time ago where it was said that one day the sun could rise and set because of your partner and the next you can't stand the way they brush their teeth.....and it's so true....so go figure. love is every changing, like a chameleon. lol or crying out loud, not sure which!
Not always. It really depends on the couple. Simply being "comfortable" or in a rut does not mean (love has increased). In order for that to take place there has to be movement. Whenever two people are in a relationship overtime they're either "growing together" or "growing apart". It's always a case of "nurturing" or "neglecting". The "relationship work" is smiliar to tending to a garden. There is always something that needs to be done to stay on top of things. Too many people look at marriage as though it's the "finish line" instead of a new and never ending journey.
by vanpelt 12 years ago
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