jump to last post 1-13 of 13 discussions (13 posts)

How many chances do you give someone? Where do you draw the line?

  1. advisor4qb profile image79
    advisor4qbposted 6 years ago

    How many chances do you give someone?  Where do you draw the line?

  2. Dim Flaxenwick profile image78
    Dim Flaxenwickposted 6 years ago

    Depends on how much you love them , but also  is it just weakness on the part of the other person or are they taking you for granted a not caring.?  If you can be sure of the difference you´ll know  what to do.
      l wish you well.

  3. THEHuG5 profile image61
    THEHuG5posted 6 years ago

    You can't give people too many chances or they won't take you seriously. Make yourself clear about what you expect from a person and if they continue to screw up you have to cut them loose. At least until they get it together. You are considering their feelings by continuing to give them chances but if they keep making the same mistakes then they obviously don't care about how you feel and that's a problem. You can't be an enabler to a selfish person. No matter who it is.

  4. lockgirl profile image59
    lockgirlposted 6 years ago

    I have given my older son many chances over the years to grow up and to act his age. After living with me on and off for 3 years I had enough and told him him and his girlfriend had to move out . I worry about him all the time but will I allow him to move back .... no.  When you get taken advantage of by someone that you love you start to lose something. I put up with his lies and his stealing and his not wanting to find work.  Me forcing him to find somewhere else to live and for him to finally grow up and be a man was the hardest thing but it needed to be done. I drew the line when my son and his girlfriend ( and I say that nicely) did nothing all day knowing I am in constant pain every day and they always lied about where they had gotten money. Enough was enough .... DONE OVER

  5. fpherj48 profile image77
    fpherj48posted 6 years ago

    I have a tough time with "generalizations."  I'm sorry I don't know if you are referring to any person in your life in  terms of constantly messing up/angering you?  Or....if you specifically mean a "significant other" with regard to your relationship?  I will go with the latter and HOPE I'm correct.
    Depending on what it is (s)he has done to hurt or disappoint you and the degree of your feelings for this person...  If this realtionship is truly important to you and you know you do not want to end it, my advice would be to search your soul as you consider the BIG PICTURE.  Weigh the positive and negative aspects of your life together.  No one is ever going to be perfect nor will any realtionship be ideal.  What can you personally deal with comfortably and still feel strongly for this person?  If you need to continually forgive him/her for minor infractions, you can probably learn to live with it.  If this has to do with any sort of abuse....NO SECOND CHANCES...NONE...UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER.   FORGET IT, WALK AWAY AND DON'T LOOK BACK. NOW.

  6. Libra Rajani profile image78
    Libra Rajaniposted 6 years ago

    I think it depends on a number of factors such as age, relationship to you, gender, how serious the issue was, and how long you've known the person. I generally give family members more chances than I would anyone else, and it's not that many.

    With friends, I generally give them two chances. With the first one, I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was unintentional. If there is another one, I tend to distance myself from that person all together.

  7. Ramsa1 profile image60
    Ramsa1posted 6 years ago

    How many chances you give someone is a personal choice. I suggest you draw the line when you've had enough, regardless of who it is. Some people would walk all over you for life, if you let them.

  8. shampa sadhya profile image83
    shampa sadhyaposted 6 years ago

    For me it always depends upon the truthfulness of the situation. Such things cannot be measured in numbers. My heart and mind must act together not just one at a time.

  9. onegoodwoman profile image76
    onegoodwomanposted 6 years ago



    1...............3RD STRIKE.............AND YOU ARE out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I simply do not intend to run your school, or yourhousehold...........

    It is MATHEMATICAL FACT............there is only 1 starting point, and only 1, second chance..........anything else.............mere excuses.

  10. advisor4qb profile image79
    advisor4qbposted 6 years ago

    I had a friend who was taking advantage of me.  It broke my heart to turn her away after I felt she was taking advantage of me, but I had to do it.  I gave her several chances, but then she did not take my advice and did some things to me that made me feel very hurt and not sure whether or not to continue the friendship. 

    It took seeing her make some choice in her life that I did not want my children to be exposed to that I finally had to cut her loose.  Scary stuff, and heartbreaking.

  11. proudmamma profile image78
    proudmammaposted 6 years ago

    I would have to agree with onegoodwoman on friends. However, through the years with family, it has been different. I've been stomped on so many times by family......I'm beginning to feel like a door mat. However, after the last incident with each of my husband's two grown children..............I would now say I'm no longer their door mat. I'm done! 20 years of it is enough! It took me this long because of their father and my love for him. After the way they have treated him and as sick as he is now......enough is enough. He can't defend himself, but I sure can and I will!

  12. Matt in Jax profile image68
    Matt in Jaxposted 6 years ago

    How many chances that are given definitely depends on the persons involved, the relationship, and exactly what was done. Certain things in certain situations are permanent deal-breakers while other things can be simply discussed over lunch and resolved. Little broad to answer exactly.

  13. goosegreen profile image76
    goosegreenposted 6 years ago

    You draw the line at the end of your tether