This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
jump to last post 1-13 of 13 discussions (13 posts)

How many chances do you give someone? Where do you draw the line?

  1. advisor4qb profile image78
    advisor4qbposted 6 years ago

    How many chances do you give someone?  Where do you draw the line?

  2. Dim Flaxenwick profile image80
    Dim Flaxenwickposted 6 years ago

    Depends on how much you love them , but also  is it just weakness on the part of the other person or are they taking you for granted a not caring.?  If you can be sure of the difference you´ll know  what to do.
      l wish you well.

  3. THEHuG5 profile image60
    THEHuG5posted 6 years ago

    You can't give people too many chances or they won't take you seriously. Make yourself clear about what you expect from a person and if they continue to screw up you have to cut them loose. At least until they get it together. You are considering their feelings by continuing to give them chances but if they keep making the same mistakes then they obviously don't care about how you feel and that's a problem. You can't be an enabler to a selfish person. No matter who it is.

  4. lockgirl profile image60
    lockgirlposted 6 years ago

    I have given my older son many chances over the years to grow up and to act his age. After living with me on and off for 3 years I had enough and told him him and his girlfriend had to move out . I worry about him all the time but will I allow him to move back .... no.  When you get taken advantage of by someone that you love you start to lose something. I put up with his lies and his stealing and his not wanting to find work.  Me forcing him to find somewhere else to live and for him to finally grow up and be a man was the hardest thing but it needed to be done. I drew the line when my son and his girlfriend ( and I say that nicely) did nothing all day knowing I am in constant pain every day and they always lied about where they had gotten money. Enough was enough .... DONE OVER

  5. fpherj48 profile image78
    fpherj48posted 6 years ago

    I have a tough time with "generalizations."  I'm sorry I don't know if you are referring to any person in your life in  terms of constantly messing up/angering you?  Or....if you specifically mean a "significant other" with regard to your relationship?  I will go with the latter and HOPE I'm correct.
    Depending on what it is (s)he has done to hurt or disappoint you and the degree of your feelings for this person...  If this realtionship is truly important to you and you know you do not want to end it, my advice would be to search your soul as you consider the BIG PICTURE.  Weigh the positive and negative aspects of your life together.  No one is ever going to be perfect nor will any realtionship be ideal.  What can you personally deal with comfortably and still feel strongly for this person?  If you need to continually forgive him/her for minor infractions, you can probably learn to live with it.  If this has to do with any sort of abuse....NO SECOND CHANCES...NONE...UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER.   FORGET IT, WALK AWAY AND DON'T LOOK BACK. NOW.

  6. Libra Rajani profile image79
    Libra Rajaniposted 6 years ago

    I think it depends on a number of factors such as age, relationship to you, gender, how serious the issue was, and how long you've known the person. I generally give family members more chances than I would anyone else, and it's not that many.

    With friends, I generally give them two chances. With the first one, I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was unintentional. If there is another one, I tend to distance myself from that person all together.

  7. Ramsa1 profile image60
    Ramsa1posted 6 years ago

    How many chances you give someone is a personal choice. I suggest you draw the line when you've had enough, regardless of who it is. Some people would walk all over you for life, if you let them.

  8. shampa sadhya profile image82
    shampa sadhyaposted 6 years ago

    For me it always depends upon the truthfulness of the situation. Such things cannot be measured in numbers. My heart and mind must act together not just one at a time.

  9. onegoodwoman profile image74
    onegoodwomanposted 6 years ago

    1 WARNING


    1 REMINDER

    1...............3RD STRIKE.............AND YOU ARE out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I simply do not intend to run your school, or yourhousehold...........


    It is MATHEMATICAL FACT............there is only 1 starting point, and only 1, second chance..........anything else.............mere excuses.

  10. advisor4qb profile image78
    advisor4qbposted 6 years ago

    I had a friend who was taking advantage of me.  It broke my heart to turn her away after I felt she was taking advantage of me, but I had to do it.  I gave her several chances, but then she did not take my advice and did some things to me that made me feel very hurt and not sure whether or not to continue the friendship. 

    It took seeing her make some choice in her life that I did not want my children to be exposed to that I finally had to cut her loose.  Scary stuff, and heartbreaking.

  11. proudmamma profile image77
    proudmammaposted 6 years ago

    I would have to agree with onegoodwoman on friends. However, through the years with family, it has been different. I've been stomped on so many times by family......I'm beginning to feel like a door mat. However, after the last incident with each of my husband's two grown children..............I would now say I'm no longer their door mat. I'm done! 20 years of it is enough! It took me this long because of their father and my love for him. After the way they have treated him and as sick as he is now......enough is enough. He can't defend himself, but I sure can and I will!

  12. Matt in Jax profile image68
    Matt in Jaxposted 6 years ago

    How many chances that are given definitely depends on the persons involved, the relationship, and exactly what was done. Certain things in certain situations are permanent deal-breakers while other things can be simply discussed over lunch and resolved. Little broad to answer exactly.

  13. goosegreen profile image76
    goosegreenposted 6 years ago

    You draw the line at the end of your tether

 
working