How do you move on with someone when your heart belongs to another?

1. 61

   Bella Ninaposted 13 years ago

   How do you move on with someone when your heart belongs to another?
   
   How do you move on with someone when your heart belongs to another, but you can never be with the one you are already in love with?

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2. 80

   carolinemd21posted 13 years ago

   Hi Bella - I would have to say the best advice is to be alone with yourself. The question is why can't you be with the other person who you do love? Is it a one sided thing or did they pass away? If it is one sided then it should make it easier for you to let go in the long run knowing that person doesn't care for you the same way as you do them. You have to love yourself before jumping into something new. Then you will know how to love someone and it will be the right way. You can also always start to love someone new and appreciate them for what they are giving to you. There used to be arranged marriages where people involved weren't in love and grew to fall in love. Hope this helps.

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3. 60

   HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years ago

   Think the simplest thing is giving your self some time to let go. Of course if you stop focusing on the past, and distract your thoughts to the present moment and what you are experiencing now, and not allowing your thoughts to travel back ward in time.  This isn't simple I shouldn't say that. It's just what ever you choose to focus on is what you are thinking about. Maybe realise the past is over, and it's dead. There is nothing left there for you. Only the present moment and the future. You have the choice to think about the past and live there, or live right now. It's kind of like watching a movie. Usually we watch it from begining to end, and never watch it again, unless we choose too. It's always a choice what you think about. Most likely the partner you have right now would appreciate it if you found him the main focus of your attention in that matter. You might be missing a good thing, and not opening your self and heart up to something wonderful by holding on to the past!

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4. 61

   Bella Ninaposted 13 years ago

   Very good advice from you both Caroline and Hattie.  I truly wish that this issue was a simple one, but, it is not.  Matters of the heart usually are complicated.  At least they always have been for me.
   
   You both made good points about letting go of someone who doesn't want you, or letting go of the past, and living in the present and focusing toward the future.  Maybe these things seem so clear when you are not in the middle of this kind of situation, but I am grateful for your comments, and I know you are both spot on.
   
   Thanks for caring.  That really comes through from you both.  Hugs.

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5. 61

   Nefarious_Miseryposted 13 years ago

   The simple answer is that you can't. And it's not fair to the one your with now if your heart still belongs to another. My personal opinion is that until you have moved on, no other relationship can truly thrive.

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6. 68

   xethonxqposted 13 years ago

   You don't. You have to take the time to explore your feelings about the one you are pining for. It's hard, especially when we find ourselves ruminating about what could be and what will never be. Emotions have a solid hold on us sometimes and it's tough. Good luck with everything...it's not easy.

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7. 60

   a49eracctposted 13 years ago

   Bella,
   I have been exactly where you are. People are going to tell you "it takes time" and they will say "let go", things of this nature are nice to hear but it doesn't solve the problem. I hope i do not offend you when I say "try God". I will be honest, I am not the most religious person in the world, but I do know that the world returns what you put out there. If you ask it for help getting through this time in your life, help will come. You will be surprised how powerful this can be. Don't be afraid to find fall in love with someone else.

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8. 65

   crazycatmanposted 13 years ago

   I am going through this very thing right now.  It is not fun.  What I have found that helps me is prayer.  I pray for good things for the person in my past, she deserves good things.  I pray that God removes her from my heat, thoughts, and being.  I do all I can to give my feeling to God.
   They say time heals all wounds.  While this is true, it does not matter when we are dealing with it now.
   The new person in your life deserves your full attention.  This is the best way to get to know each other and build a new relationship.
   Best Wishes

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9. 82

   That Grrlposted 13 years ago

   Talk to the person you are with. If you can't be honest with that person you're cheating them. I wouldn't want that to be me.
   
   Talking to them might help you as well. You need to face how things are and see the person you are with as someone you are committed to or are not committed to. Maybe the problem isn't the person in your past but the fact that you don't care enough to stay with the person you have in your life now but you think that's better than being alone for awhile.

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10. 59

    TXJ137posted 13 years ago

    I'm glad you presented this question. It's one I have been trying to answer for a few months. I don't have one, so everyone else's ideas are helpful.

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