How do you reconcile with friends after a mistake?

1. 61

   ryanedelposted 13 years ago

   How do you reconcile with friends after a mistake?
   
   If you've made an error in judgment, how do you reconcile with the friends who now refuse to speak with you?  After you've regretted the mistake and tried to make amends, how do you restore the friendships that are important to you?

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2. 60

   Ancillottiposted 13 years ago

   Hello, friend!
   The best way to fix an error is to actually do it. Be sincere and assume it was you who was wrong, be humble and ask forgiveness.
   There is no way of knowing what the reaction of his friends, but if they are true friends its sincere words added to the time for every one of them will serve to put things in order.
   Hope this helps!

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3. 64

   CARIBQUEENposted 13 years ago

   Give it time. After you have done all you can to make amends, there is nothing more you can do, but give it time.

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4. 0

   reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

   The way to restore a friendship that is important to you is to never make that mistake again.  People come in our lives because we need them.  This is no coincidence or turn of events.  Everyone that comes in your life plays an important position.  It is for you to recognize and respect them for who they are.  Not for you to lose them, only to realize after the damage is done how important they are.  If you have tried to reconcile and that individual has no interest in speaking to you, it's best to leave them alone.  People have a tendency to judge as well as speak falsely of people due to what they are used to "thinking" or listening to others "opinions .  People never think about what hurt their actions may bring to someone else.  They also do not realize how insulting or demeaning the other person may feel.  Although some may take this lightly and "forgive" aka give you another chance, others won't!  Why?  Because if you can be so careless with judgement as well as their friendship you are bound to be careless again.  Trust and respect are two things that are rare.  To open up and trust someone who has disappointed you is extremely hard.  The individual may think if our friendship was important to you, why do what you've done........Why does it take for you to realize what you had after it is gone
   
   Vonda G. Nelson

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5. 44

   Rooskayaposted 13 years ago

   You need to be patient and if they refuse to speak to you at all then you can use written communication to contact them (or e communication).How you write will make a difference.

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6. 60

   Edoka Writesposted 13 years ago

   Perhaps, send a card; and a small personal gift, something that is important to the friend. Let the person vent and listen w/o justifying your beliefs.
   After that, pray about it, if you believe in The Most High.

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7. 60

   philirodjeposted 13 years ago

   let it cool off for a while, then start the process of mending which takes time but with persistence, you will make up.

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8. 62

   bucker98posted 13 years ago

   Humble yourself then apologize sincerely. Apologies are all about humility and acknowledging that you've done a wrong thing. No excuses...

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9. 60

   HighGuy420posted 13 years ago

   it all depends on what you did bro. Somethings friends will never forgive you for. girl friends stealing are the 2 big ones in my group. But most times of the time we fight then go for beers later

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10. 0

    Sports_Fanposted 13 years ago

    I feel that the best way to reconcile a friendship after a mistake is to admit you were wrong, but let your friend know how important their friendship is to you. They need to see that you are making an effort to right the wrong that you did to them.

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11. 64

    PatriciaTLposted 13 years ago

    Perhaps writing an old-fashioned letter would do the trick.  Be sincere and open in detailing what the friendship means to you, and mention what you learned from the experience.

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12. 78

    jacqui2011posted 13 years ago

    Just be patient and give it time. If still nothing, then i would perhaps put your feelings down on paper and send a letter. I know its hard to wait but when they find out how you feel it could make a difference. Just let them know that you do regret it and that your friendship is too important to forget. What you say or write could be the difference in whether your friendship can continue. Be sincere. I hope it all goes well for you.

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13. 60

    Coach Julieposted 13 years ago

    Offer a sincere apology, take responsibility for your part in what happened, avoid laying blame on the other person.  Be honest and hope for the best.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Including the friends who are having a difficult time forgiving you.  It may take some time for them to come around.  If they do, you know the friendship is strong.  If they never do, that will give you an idea of the quality of the relationship.  Learn from your mistake and move forward.  Also recognize that it may take your friend longer to forgive than it would have taken you.  Give that person the room they need to work things out on their own.  Keep the door open and welcome them back when they are ready.

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14. 76

    Seeker7posted 13 years ago

    Hi,
    
    I think something like this probably happens to all of us at some time or other. Often when we try to speak to those we have let down the words don't come as we would like them to. So sometimes it is better to write a letter and put your thoughts and feelings down in a way that gets your point across the way you want it. Also, within your letter, ask for a meeting. If either is rejected then you just have to put it down to experience or give things a little longer. In the meantime get on with your life, use this painful time as a learning curve and remember - we are all human and we all do things wrong at times including those who feel you have let down.

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15. 60

    thejeffriestubeposted 13 years ago

    You own up to the wrong, and be clear you want to remain friends, and are willing to regain their trust. You then prove to it them by never having them question your trustworthiness. Always be up front and honest with your friends, and you'll never have to remember who you lied to or wronged.

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16. 61

    Somesh Duttposted 13 years ago

    The simple, logical and the right step would be to speak to your friend face to face and admit your mistake and apologise to him or her. It may be difficult sometimes doing this but its a sure shot way of resolving the issue

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17. 61

    micahjoyposted 13 years ago

    a sincere and heartfelt apology.
    
    the words "i was wrong", without being followed by any justification or explaination, go a long way.
    
    probably the best way to do this, as others have mentioned, is through a letter or email - where you can take the time to choose your words carefully, and where the other person can take the time to read or re-read your words, without interruptions.
    
    beyond that... time, and the gentle and persistant display of your genuine interest in restoring the friendship.

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18. 61

    ikechiawazieposted 13 years ago

    You work up to him, be a man and admit your mistake and ask for forgiveness. If he resists, keep trying; be humble enough to seek peace and soon enough he will see your sincerity.

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19. 77

    rhondakimposted 13 years ago

    Admit directly and plainly that you made the mistake, and exactly what you did wrong.  People need to be validated, and know that you understand why they're mad at you.

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20. 70

    chasemillisposted 13 years ago

    I make sure they know that they have wronged me and also that our friendship will not be the same as it was before (if the "mistake" was big enough). This is assuming the friend(s) wronged me in some way

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21. 68

    Rastamermaidposted 13 years ago

    Well honestly,I'm one of those people that's not all that forgiving. Forgiving is Godly and I'm not there yet. I know that I probably should be more open but I've been burned so many times by so called friends taking my kindness for weakness that a repeat isn't an option.
    
    Now don't get me wrong,I've fallen out with friends and not spoken as often for afew months and we reconnect,but they never wronged me. We may have not agreed on some issues but nothing to the extent that we totally lost contact.Never where my kindness was taken for weakness
    
    I see some people say write a letter,I've received afew of such letters,but to me they were feeble attempts to get back into my life.After a while I just filed them in the trash without even opening.
    
    Some like me feel that if I mean that much to you,it should have never happened and the consequence is we are no longer friends.

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22. 60

    nabeelplusposted 13 years ago

    admit your mistake and apologize....assure that it wont happen again.

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23. 61

    whoisbidposted 13 years ago

    I think that if we have made a mistake it must be forgiven because it means we were either ignorant or careless. We must try to make amends. If it is not a mistake and we have done something to purposely harm someone because we are hateful and vindictive then I believe that is another case altogether.

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24. 77

    Brian Andersonposted 13 years ago

    Apologize, sincerely take the blame...  Sincerity and honesty will win them back..

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25. 73

    SidKempposted 13 years ago

    This works for me - and for many. Be honest and sincere about your mistake and make an apology. Do not justify what you did - or even try to explain it. Listen, and accept the other persons feelings and words. Tonight my wife broke a piece of pottery I made many years ago. She called immediately and let me know. She apologized and cleaned up the mess. I thanked her for letting me know, and it was over. In the past, she might have delayed, or tried to hide, or explain how it happened. She kept it simple - and it is already in the past. So: be honest and sincere; apologize; listen; do not justify; bear their pain or anger; let them be right; ask what you can do to make it up; and be generous. All this may sound hard, but it is easy if you value the relationship more than you value being right.

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26. 56

    lostohanababyposted 10 years ago

    Very nicely," I'm sorry, hope you can forgive me. Can you come over and have a beer?".. Or "You want to play some Golf?"

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