Why does a person feel unappreciated despite having been thanked?

1. 86

   midget38posted 11 years ago

   Why does a person feel unappreciated despite having been thanked?

   replyreport
2. 60

   NikiDivaposted 11 years ago

   saying "thank you" can easily be something you say out of habit. like responding with "fine, how are you?" when someone asks you how you are. it doesnt mean that you care or that its sincere

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That's the thing, when it's said too casually, it loses its effect!

      replyreport
3. 69

   Patty Kenyonposted 11 years ago

   Michelle, that is definitely a good question.  I am not sure why, but I do know what you mean.  Perhaps it is the way the Thank-you is said.  In my experience, Some Thank-Yous are filled with great emotion both spoken and in body language.  As for others, Thank-Yous are spoken rather casually with more or less like a shrug of a shoulder.
   
   I hope this is just a general question because I know many that truly appreciate you!!!

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Patty! Thanks for popping in!  True that sometimes the thank you doesn't come across in the body language or emotion - and it becomes kind of dilated or sounds insincere. And, absolutely no worries, it is a general question indeed! :-)

      replyreport
4. 65

   pmorriesposted 11 years ago

   In my humble experience, nothing says thank you like vast quantities of money. Also one may be tired or preoccupied with something else when they say thank you, resulting in a weak or mis-interpreted thank you. In closing, if my teenage son so much as picks up one of his dirty socks off the floor, he feels like a parade should be held in his honor .

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That's the typical teen for you, pmorries! They think that after clearing up their rooms, they should be given a medal of honor. And we should forgive people for being preoccupied!

      replyreport
5. 92

   Sherry Hewinsposted 11 years ago

   Sometimes people will thank you, but when it's their turn to do a favor they don't come through. That could make a person feel unappreciated.

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That is so true, Sherry! A lack of balance in reciprocating!

      replyreport
6. 38

   edhanposted 11 years ago

   It depends on what or how it is being thanked.
   
   If it is not whole heartedly, then the feeling will not be appreciated.

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Sincerity is the key!!

      replyreport
   2. 38

      edhanposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. We need to be sincere to ourselves and the other parties.

      replyreport
7. 65

   Veroniquebeeposted 11 years ago

   As was stated - how you say the "thank you" determines how it will be received.
   
   It's just like saying compliments. I like to quote Joker and Kaidan from Mass Effect game, when making this argument:
   
   Nihlus: ... that's good. Your captain will be pleased.
   Joker: I hate that guy.
   Kaidan: Nihlus gave you a compliment - so you hate him?
   Joker: To remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom - that's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target of size of a pinhead - so that's incredible!

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      This was the most creative role play I've ever read! True. Nihuls never acknowledged Joker fully, so it fell flat. I guess that's what we mean by not feeling appreciated!!

      replyreport
8. 93

   sangreposted 11 years ago

   Some people say "Thank You" as just a passing thought. Others say "Thank You" will real emotion.  If a person gives you a token be it something small it shows you that they appreciate what you have done.
   
   Also if they return the favour at a later date, this shows you they do appreciate what you have done.

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ah yes. The sincerity is in the body language!

      replyreport
9. 88

   innerspinposted 11 years ago

   I agree with the comments about the way the thanks is expressed. Also, some people have a low self esteem, and don't take any thanks or compliments on board. They still feel insecure. So that can make the thanker wonder why they made the effort to comment, and nobody's happy. A shame,really.

   replyreport
   1. 86

      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's their insecurity, as you've said. It makes them think we're cynical when we compliment them, and when we don't, they're not good enough!

      replyreport
10. 67

    Rebecca2904posted 11 years ago

    I think it's probably the way the 'thank you' is said, whether it seems genuine or not, and whether it's really enough when taking the size of the good deed into account. Obviously people don't just do good things so that they can be thanked, but it's only polite to acknowledge what someone has done for you. If someone holds a door open, then a simple 'thanks' is all that's needed; if someone gives you a kidney... perhaps some flowers wouldn't go amiss.

    replyreport
11. 60

    penladyposted 11 years ago

    It depends on the emotion behind the words. Sometimes words are just that - words. When there's no sincerity behind a person's words, then a person can be left feeling unappreciated.
    
    However, if you can tell that a person is sincere in their gratitude, then you'll feel and know it. As a result, you won't feel unappreciated.

    replyreport
12. 70

    greenerydayposted 11 years ago

    Because this person expect to have more than being thanked... whenever we help someone and never expect to be thanked because we help them without wanting something in return, that's when we don't feel any of this unappreciated feeling..,However I admit it is easy to say than done though...

    replyreport
13. 84

    I Am Rosaposted 8 years ago

    Wow ... I know the answer to that one intimately! In fact, one couple come immediately to mind. They've thanked me profusely with gifts and hugs and kisses. I *know* they were grateful at the time, yet I still feel unappreciated by these individuals. Why?  Because of how they treat me in general. If a person thanks me profusely for one thing I've done, but treats me with disrespect the rest of the year, it's hard to really feel appreciated.

    replyreport