What Are Some Things That Will Ruin A Marriage?
What Are Some Things That Will Ruin A Marriage?
1) violence or attack - physical,
3) violence - verbal and emotional
4) dishonesty of any sort
5) lack of understanding, caring, and mutual communication.
The first item is dangerous - often attacks escalate, especially when the person being attacked considers leaving or tries to leave. Safety is first, and rescuing the marriage is challenging, and may be best not to do it.
Infidelity is very difficult to heal, but some marriages, with effort on both sides, have healed through it.
Verbal violence and dishonesty can be healed, but only if the person doing it wants to change, and both people are committed to the relationship.
If you get past all of those, then a marriage - with or without children - is still an awful lot of work - absolutely wonderful work, in my opinion - as we learn to trust, nurture, and grow our love for one another, our families, and the world.
Taking each other for granted. Not listening. Not saying I'm sorry. Loss of romance. Lack of intimacy. Being too busy.
To be honest the list is endless, but talking is probably one of the most important things in a marriage. Without talking to each other and confiding in how we feel it's difficult to make a relationship work. Of course there are also the more sinister things: violence; cheating; addiction; lying.
Selecting the wrong mate for yourself!
We do this when we have not figured out who we are, what we want, or need in a mate for life. We also do this when we rush through the dating process without truly getting to know whether or not this person (naturally agrees) with us on the major things in life and (shares our same values). Making a marriage decision during the "infatuation phase" of a relationship does not allow one to get to know the "authentic person" they are dating. Everyone puts their best foot forward to impress one another. It takes more time to learn how a person deals with the ups and downs of day to day life.
If you select (the right mate for yourself) you will avoid most of the problems people have in marriages because you will be with someone who (naturally) wants what you want and (agrees) with you on how to obtain it.
The best marriages are about (Us & We) and not (You & Me). Two people who are on the same page can weather just about any storm!
Adultery, pornography, drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling, deep intense money problems, if not properly dealt with, physical abuse, emotional abuse and selfishness of partners.
Cheating, lies,rudeness, lack of manners, lack of empathy and apathy, selfishness,
lack of respect,physical/verbal and mental abuse, lack of involvement with family, obsessive/ compulsive behavior, wanting to control all, not sharing responsibility to raising children or maintenace of home..manipulative..and unloving and unappreciative..no connection physical/emotional/spiritual...wanting no attachment what so ever....I could go on..but I think you get the idea....
Lying, Infedelity, Abuse, Addictions, unrealistic expectations, Religion, Communication problems, and I think their extended families can play a role in this as well. I think people's idea of love is very unrealistic and more Hollywood so when things get tough they think relationships shouldn't be work and they think they didn't find the right one when in reality they are searching for someone that doesn't exist. Past relationships that have not been resolved emotionally could cause a marriage to fail too. Mental disorders and the stress they cause and having special need children can do this too. A child dying can tear a family apart as well.
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