Do you think that marriage is really necessary?

1. 60

   Akarime31posted 12 years ago

   Do you think that marriage is really necessary?
   
   My parents got married because "it was the right thing to do" not because they were in love with each other. Now after a nasty deparation and 27 agonizing years, they are finally happy.

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2. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   No. Being married or single are "lifestyle options"!
   Each of us gets to choose how we want to live our lives. Marriage has never been a "necessity" for having a happy fulfilling life. Getting married is a choice!

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3. 60

   nightwork4posted 12 years ago

   marriage never was and never will be necessary. religion is the only reason that people married in the first place and thanks to religion, those who live together and aren't married are made out to be bad people. thankfully, these days people have seen what a joke religion is and are now realizing that being married doesn't make a person good.

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      MSLewisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Just because you don't believe in religion does not make it a joke. Religion helps millions of people get through the day, helps people find purpose in life, and gives many believers their first taste of a true family.

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      nightwork4posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      without religion we would have learned to rely on each other a long time ago. it would be the norm to go to others when we are in need. it would be the norm to believe in each other. just because you can't see this, it doesn't make religion right.

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      MSLewisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I never said that we shouldn't rely on each other, I just said that it isn't a joke. Religion brings many people together for the purpose of relying on each other. I came to faith recently and went from having one person to rely on  to have hundreds.

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4. 60

   MSLewisposted 12 years ago

   I agree, with dashingscorpio: marriage is a choice. If two people decide that they want to remain dedicated to each other for the rest of their lives, they should definitely get married.
   
   While I have nothing against those peolpe who think themselves perfectly content without marriage, I will say that they will never understand the fulfillment that building a life with another person can bring.
   
   Marriage should be taken as it was meant to be: a covenant union between two people who would literally die for one another. The sanctity of marriage has been pretty much destroyed by the world today, but for those that still believe in the sanctitiy and covenant of marriage there is nothing more fulfilling than having someone in your life who will truly be there through "good and bad" "until death do you part"

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   il Scetticoposted 12 years ago

   Marriage is a very important thing not only because those "ignorant, ridiculous, tyrannical, religious freaks" say so, but because a family with a married mother and father correlate with improved academic success in children and adolescents.  There also tends to be more happiness and a sense of fulfillment in relationships when a couple gets married instead of just moving in together.
   
   What if two people get together in college and the woman decides to drop out of college to be a stay at home woman while the man finishes his degree, and ends up getting a good job to support the woman.  He has absolutely no legal obligations to stay and provide for the woman who suddenly has almost no way of obtaining sufficient money for a good lifestyle.  He could leave at any time he wanted and who would have virtually no way of getting back onto her feet.
   
   The family has always been known as the central, most important group to society, especially in the U.S.  The family has had so much battering by the media today that I worry it is starting to fail.  Sociologists say that when the primary group fails, society fails as a whole.  The last thing we want is for families to fail, and the mother and father of a family actually being married rather than just together definitely plays a huge role in this.
   
   Marriage does not only correlate with more happiness in a relationship, and better academic success for children in a family, it also legally keeps both partners obligated to support each other.  When the primary group (family) fails, society fails as well.
   
   So, therefore, yes.  Marriage is, in a sense, "necessary."

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Basically you're saying the primary reason for marriage is (not love) but rather (financial security) and raising a family. Suppose one has no desire to have children or a woman has a high powered career? Is marriage necessary? or is it optional?

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   2. 0

      il Scetticoposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I assume you would be with a person in the first place BECAUSE you love them.  I would only marry a person I love, but these are many of the reasons why marriage is essential to that.

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6. 60

   Akarime31posted 12 years ago

   All are very interesting points. I have a cousin who has been with her boyfriend for 12 years, they have a son, and just bought a house. They are not married and are not planning a wedding any time soon. They live a marriage life, yet they are not legally or religious bound together; rather they choose to be together. What makes their relationship so different to a couple who is legally or religiously married? I'm not bashing on marriage; I personally do not have anything against it. My sister is happily married and so are two of my best friends. What is perplexing to me is the decision that my parents made to get married because it was "the right thing to do" and the decision of my cousin and her boyfriend of not getting married but lead a married life.

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   1. 69

      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Married couples and those living together in long-term relationships have the same expectations of one another. Marriage is a relationship status promotion in the eyes of society and offers some people financial security in the event of divorce,

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      il Scetticoposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      In times of crisis implicating couples or families, marriage is legally recognized.  In times of war countries like Holland required papers that stated your marriage status to affirm that you were not harboring wanted persons.  That's the difference.

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   old albionposted 12 years ago

   No it is not necessary. I know many couples who have been together for many years. They have children and lead normal day to day lives as most of us do. I have been married for 45 years and believe me there are good times and bad. I think on the whole however that marriage is best, maybe it's that word committment I don't know, maybe the word security, maybe not.
   On a mercenary level, marriage is best for financial settlement should things fall apart, or one of the partners were to die.
   Graham.

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   1. 69

      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      old albion, your statement: "marriage is best for (financial settlement) should things fall apart." Is absolutely correct! With a divorce rate that is over 50% one can hardly say marriage guarantees "commitment" or "love". It's really about security.

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8. 0

   matama ellieposted 12 years ago

   Depends on whey you are married, to whom you are married as well as how willing you are to work things out.In my country, marriage protects you legally because the law recognizes you as the official dependent during inheritance issues(which can be bloody).
   So yes, if you are in love and willing to do everything(always within reason) to make it work, marriage would be the better option.
   
   It is a way of telling the whole world, your family as well as your GOD (if you believe in one) that you are now responsible for one another and should both be held accountable to each other.It shows commitment, i think.

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9. 67

   Admiral Murrahposted 12 years ago

   When you consider whether marriage is necessary, a great deal depends on how you want to live your life. A second question is whether personal happiness should be what determines how you live. Is it more important to be happy or to 'do the right thing'? so to speak.  If you want to be happy, which is a selfish state of being, where you consider your emotional state above all others, marriage presents a challenge for you. If happiness is your prime objective (e.g. being a hedonist), marriage with its commitment to another person and their needs would be like a prison. Some people try to do both and end up suffering for it.
   
   If you want to have a greater likelihood of functional children, then marriage is something you will want to seriously consider. Whether you like the numbers or not, the data shows that children reared in a two-parent home do better than those not raised in such a setting. In terms of mental health, I consider marriage a necessity. The challenge is finding the right person to marry. When your marriage is started on a shaky foundation, then being married is not going to improve things much. Marriage is a serious commitment, which some people do not take seriously or understand. Under ideal circumstances, it is in the marriage relationship that couples learn how to care more for others and in the process become less selfish. It is hard to remain married and be selfish or self-centered.
   
   Historically, those cultures where marriage was important have done better than the cultures where marriage was not considered important. Marriage directly impact the roles of men and women. When marriage is de-emphasized, then the nature of their relationship changes. Women were often considered property and had lesser value in cultures where marriage not emphasized (e.g. the early Celtic and Gothic tribes).
   
   So I believe marriage is necessary for myself. Such a commitment may not be something that others can handle or find necessary. Since ideas have consequences, choosing not to marry, as in choosing to marry has its own set of consequences.

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10. 58

    palanorjposted 9 years ago

    I'm cool with getting married, or not. It's not a life goal, nor is it something I'm afraid of. It all really depends on meeting the right person and us mutually deciding that it's a good step. I'm not going to be married because I feel it's necessity in life. If I do it it's because I'm going to meet someone that I honestly want to spend a long time (hopefully the rest of my life) with. This also means that I'm up for just dating to see where things go. If they end up in marriage? cool. If not? that works too.

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    Anntatooedposted 7 years ago

    if we consider factors like dogma or religion marriage is important.  But with all else changing constantly we must consider readiness of both parties. Love does not always mean marriage and sometimes - sad as it may seem - marriage does not always mean love

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