How can you strengthen your marriage relationship?
I feel that Communication is a core factor.
To make a simple choice of loving one another. Real, true love; not lust.
When you truly choose to love another person, communication is easier, it is easier to trust and it is easier to give and gain respect.
Good stuff, Brittles...you go girl!!! :0)
Amen to that! Too many people are in relationships for the wrong reasons. Everything comes fairly naturally if it's real.
Right on, Brittles!!! :0)
JamieD: I think you got it girl!!! When one chooses the right mate everything seems to come easy. The right mate should make one whole not make one work. It seems like work only to those couples who are not a good match.
If a marriage seems in need of strengthening I really think it's important that people seek outside help when the issues still seem minor enough for them to think they don't need that help. A whole lot of pulling away and damage can happen between the time the issues seem "like nothing" and the time it's clear they're not.
It takes work to have and keep a strong marriage, you can' leave anything to chance.
Claudia: I think that marriage seems like work to those who choose the wrong mate. If two people are equally yoked and have leaved and cleaved and became one flesh as the Bible says, how can that be considered "work"? Wrong partner = lots of work.
Dear Claudia Marie:
I think the best thing a person can do to strengthen their marriage is to take the time to make a wise decision during the selection process, i.e., dating and courtship. Too many people rush in ahead of good judgment and find themselves with an inferior mate (in thought, word and deed).
Another good thing you can do to strengthen your marriage besides making a wise marital choice in the very beginning, is to bring your own "A game" to the table. Too many married couples wait for the other to improve or to make the first move and in doing so, hold back themselves.
Moreover, it is always wise to be flexible with your spouse and not to have unrealistic expectations. It is also prudent if both parties adopt the attitude that they are not "in it...to win it", referring to squabbles and fights. If you really love someone, it should break your heart to see them lose anything...even a fight. If two are really "one flesh", then when one loses - they both lose. There are no solitary winners or losers in the game of marriage.
The bottom line is a strong marriage is one based upon selflessness, loyalty, dedication, affection, mutual respect, commitment, meaningful communication and true love. Let us just hope that the people we marry have what it takes to cope with the pressures of life. Truth is, the only way we can know a tree is by the fruit it bears. Therefore, we must be patient enough to examine the fruit before we buy it.
I have said all this just to come to this point: Your marriage will only be as strong as the materials that were used in its construction. There is no magic potion here - inferior materials lead to inferior structures. Sometimes two people just cannot make it work because they just don't have what it takes. Sad but true.
Lastly, a couple that spends quantity as well as quality time together will likely succeed, as well as the couple who prays together and shares the same Godly perspectives. The more one has in common with their spouse...the better their chances.
Remember: Opposites attract.......divorce attorneys. :0)
Great input, when God is the third person in your marriage, the marriage will be a happy one, because the couple will follow his guidance.
Amen! The number one cause for divorce is and always has been (selecting the wrong mate!). It's key to share the same values, want the same things, agree on how to obtain them, and feel MUTUAL love and respect for each other. Love the attorney line!
It comes down to mistaking lust... for love.
Right you are Brittles! I wish I had a dollar for every time someone told me they were "in love" or were in this super amazing relationship but have been screwing like rabbits all along. It just invalidates the whole thing...at least it does for me.
Don't assume communication will lead to action.
Too often people will say they have a "communication problem" because they aren't getting what they asked for or wanted. Communication itself is nothing more than one person expressing an idea or thought and the other person acknowledging they heard what was said and understood. That's it!
Very few couples have "communication problems". If you're not getting what you have asked for and have stressed it's importance, there are two potential reasons.
1. They don't have it to give. (It's not who they are)
2. They don't feel you are worth the effort to give it to.
Generally speaking when two people are "in love' they want their mate to be happy. They look for ways to compromise or keep the peace. When it becomes more about "I" and "me" instead of "us" and "we" the relationship is in trouble. "I don't care what he wants...." (Not "caring" is a red flag). You have to decide if not getting what you "need" is a deal breaker?
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
There is no amount of "communication" or "work" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want. One man's opinion! :-)
Any relationship can be repaired if needed, attitude is important. Both parties have to we will to give, be unselfish and humble. There is a frustrating of plans when there is no confidential talk, good,
positive communication is important .
I agree with you, Dashing. I, too, think "communication" is probably not the main problem. Is it important? Of course it is, but I think its importance is overstated compared to more pressing issues. In my mind, self-centeredness is the main culprit.
Communication is very important in any relationship. But it is not the only thing. When my marriage ended, it was not because we did NOT communicate. We communicated very well.
A marriage does need communication, this is true, just as much as it needs the work that BOTH of you must put into it to maintain the marriage. This means you both have to work at it, you both must compromise, you both must reach some type of mutually acceptable agreement on all the various issues of marriage, including the need to communicate.
Claudia Marie, in a comment you wrote to "dashingscorpio", you stated “Any relationship can be repaired if needed”. Maybe another way of thinking about a relationship that needs repair is as follows: “Any relationship can be repaired if BOTH parties agree to repair it.”
Communications is important; but so are the wants, needs, and desires of the individuals that make up the couple. These wants, needs, and desires can not be ignored. When they are ignored, it can sometimes lead to devastating results for the relationship.
Good stuff, FM! In my mind, a good marriage shouldn't require work. I hear couples talk ad naseum about how hard it is to maintain a marriage. Too many people choose the wrong mate and then labor in vain trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
You are right both parties have to be willing to repair the marriage, many marriages fail because one or the other party does not want to make it work.
You have to be willing to forgive, and be humble. Blending lives is not easy, it can be done.
Claudia: You are right...it takes a committed husband and wife to make a marriage successful, but it only takes one to destroy it.
I did not ask the question, but I sure do love the answers. How wonderful to know that there are people out there, somewhere, focused and not misled. God is the answer for all our existence issues. The Bible is the word of God; His love is so big and true that He guide us through His living words..Blessings to all!
Well said and well done, Lastheart...I could not agree with you more. To God be the glory!!! :0)
Good thoughts, since God is the creator of marriage, bringing the man and women together as stated in the Bible book of Genesis, he is the one that can show us how to have a happy marriage, but here again both parties need to follow his direction.
Marriage involves emotions and when you care for the emotions of your spouse you can hope for happiness in you married life. Tolerance, overlooking faults, showing immense care and not taking your spouse for granted are all ways to strengthen your marriage.
Thanks for your comment about emotions, great input.
Hope for Happiness? Many people hope for things in marriage and when they don't get it they become discouraged and depressed. In my mind one shouldn't hope for something when they can be assured of it beforehand. Too many people rush into marriage.
In any relationship communication is key but trust is too. If you don't show respect for your partner that shows you don't care. To strengthen your relationship you got be there for each other and experience your time as one.
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