Do you tell on a cheater?
If you know for a fact (proof of some kind) that a friend/acquaintance is cheating on another friend/acquaintance do/should you tell the cheater, the cheated or not get involved?
This can be a very important question at times. I believe that if a friend is truly a friend they would tell the friend the truth whether it is good or bad. I would tell my friend and then provide a shoulder for my friend to cry upon.
I don't think I would hesitate to tell a friend, but does it get hairy when you are only acquaintances with a couple? Or do you still tell?
That's a good question. What would you do?
My fear is after comforting the "victim", if they later choose later to reconcile then they may assume that you no longer respect the significant other or feel embarrassed that they returned after having been consoled. The friendship becomes awkward
I would tell if it's a really good friend someone I deemed important. If their more of an acquaintance, I would think twice because it may not be worth the possible drama. Some people don't want to know,and someone already know and have accepted it. Great question!
I once hesitated to tell my brother-in-law about his wife's affair but eventually did. I was close with both of them but felt guilty watching him unaware. He was crushed and I helped support him through a seperation... only for them to resolve later
First I would tell the cheater, to inform his/her partner that he/she is cheating, if he/she does not fess up, then I will do it for them. I feel that if I want to be a good friend, in this kind of situation, one has to get involved.
It only gets really messy when the couple have children. I would still talk to the cheater, and ask, what the heck was going on. but I would tread more lightly then if the couple were childless.
I have in fact come across this situation, and all parties concerned are still friends of mine. although for a while the friendship was seriously strained.
Would you find yourself having a hard time confronting the cheater about his/her cheating and insisting he/she fesses up?
-Sometimes the cheater/cheated sees you as having an "opinion" after they/ve long forgiven the other half.
I did find it very hard to confront the cheater, telling your friend they are doing something that is wrong and giving them an ultimatum does not feel good.
It was awkward for a while, but all worked out in the end. We are still good friends.
That's great that it worked out like that. I once spoke up and supported the cheated, we talked about how things would be okay and he'd be better off anyway. Shortly later they "made up" and then I looked like the bad guy. ;-(
For me there is a major difference between friend and acquaintance. My friends are like siblings to me. I would inform them. An acquaintance I would not get involved.
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