Is it ok, if your partner is not at all possessive about you ?
Love the drawing, and while some men need that approach, those who do aren't worth keeping.
U should feel lucky that ur partner is not overly possessive. An over possessive partner is the type that can't let go. This is the overly jealous type that would call u time a day, suspect u to be cheating on them, won't let u have a life outside of this relationship fearing, u might find somebody better, in the end u will find it suffercating.
Buddhism once said this about love, which I think make lots of sense, it say that to love is human nature and to reject love, due to fear or any other reason, is unnature and is bad for u and can be harmful to u, but to love and not able to let go, is also bad for u and will be harmful also to those u love. So, the secret is allow ur self to love, but able to let go, when it is time to let go. I've seen some guys, married to very hot girls, usually men married to really hot women, 2 thing would happen, either A. they live a very long life or B. they live a very short life, those who live a short life, can't let go and as a result, are always fearful of all the other guys out there who are also sexually attracted to her, they become possessive, jealous, controlling and out right insane, sometime if it isn't because they are already in a relationship, chances are she can file a restraining order, for this sort of almost obsessive stalker like behavior, this fear, is bad for their health and they ended up living a short life, The other type, because they are able to let go, they can be a bit French about it, the good thing about the French, is that they really know how to let go, when a relationship run its course, although we might not agree with many aspect of French people's attitude towards marriage, this is one attitude, that is really worth for us to learn from, been able to let go, they are able to live in the present of the relationship, thus he is less likely to be jealous, possessive, due to fear of his wife or girl friend cheating on him, because if it really do happen, they are able to let go, so, for them, at most, just get a divorce or break up if it happen.
As for girls, a guy who is possessive is because he can't let go, because they can't let go, they are willing to go that extra length for this relationship, so, at first this relationship is sweet, but after a while, because, he can't let go, the relationship will become jealous, possessive, restraining and suffercating, A guy who can let go, are more lazy, as a boy friend, but they are not going to be restraining and suffercating that control ur every move, in the long run, a boy friend that can let go, is better then one that cannot let go.
Possessiveness is based on fear. In this case, a fear of loss. So if I keep this person 'under wraps' and monitor all they do, thus ensuring there is little chance of them having the 'freedom' to stray - or even lead they life they would prefer to lead - then I will keep them. I'll bind them to me.
It doesn't work that way, of course. On the one side there is fear, on the other person's side, feelings of being constrained, not trusted, lack of freedom to be their real self. And we all love to be free - free to choose.
Fact is we can never 'own' another person (slave trade aside,where a body is owned if not a heart and mind)
The question has to be asked of oneself. "How would I like to be treated?' as one is thinking about one's partner or loved one.
This fear of being 'betrayed' is quite common in our culture - and probably in many other cultures. The way out?
I like one of the quotes in Neal Donald Walsch's Conversations with God series of books. When making a decision about anything ask:
"What would love do now?"
If you are in a relationship and no matter whom you go out with or talk to late in the night, it does not bother your partner at all. They will never mind anywhere you go or whom you go with. Is that really ok ?
Another way of looking at it is do you want your mate to (fear) losing you to someone else? feel insecure/distrust you? or act jealous?
Do you require them to act possessive in order for you to feel loved? Is it unloving to be trusted so much?
Possessive and jealous behavior tend to be negative traits in relationships. Count your blessings to be with someone secure.
The only people who mistake those traits as "proof of love" are those who have never been in a healthy trustworthy relationship.
In fact many abusers state that their actions are proof of their love! Controlling manipulative behavior is used to play head games on you. They want you always walking on egg shells and thinking about their potential reaction before you do or say anything. You're no longer free to relax and be yourself!
In their eyes your smile, laugh, or any acts of kindness along with all of your time are for them only. Don't be a "prisoner of love".
If someone (believes you love them and trusts) you would not intentionally betray them they have no reason to feel insecure, jealous, or possessive. The older one gets the less "drama" and (games) they want in their life and relationships.
If someone is "into you" they'll naturally treat you as special.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
However don't mistake being trusted as proof you're not loved.
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