What's the one thing you learned from your last relationship?

1. 79

   figmentposted 14 years ago

   Name one thing you learned from dating your last partner.
   
   For example I started dating a good friend, started doing drugs together, and now we are no longer together after a rocky year long relationship.  I don't regret becoming lovers, but lesson learned:  Don't do drugs with good friend who becomes great lover...ended horribly.

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   1. 70

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      To not get into another for a while.

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   2. 63

      mintinfoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Previous to my current relationship I learned that long distance relationships don't work. After 6mts to a yr a decision will have to be made for someone to re-locate.

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      1. 0

         Crazdwriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Sorry but I have to disagree with you. my husband and I did a 3 year long distance relationship they can work if both parties are willing to work at them.

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   3. 61

      Niteriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Guilty or innocent, confess to whatever I'm accused of. Been working beautifully for over thirty years.

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   4. 65

      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Love yourself more..

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   5. 35

      curlytree2009posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Love yourself and respect each other's decision.

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2. 74

   livewithrichardposted 14 years ago

   Don't settle!

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3. 0

   PrettyPantherposted 14 years ago

   I learned that "sensitivity" in a man can be carried too far - WAY too far. 

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4. 49

   mickeymouse0595posted 14 years ago

   The thing I learned from my last relatenship is that most people do not change.

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5. 60

   tantrumposted 14 years ago

   Jealousy is something I can't cope with. I don't understand it.

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6. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   NOTHING AT ALL   BRIGHT HE WAS NOT BUT PRETTY

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7. 60

   NewYorkerposted 14 years ago

   All my relationships have taught me the same thing...
   
   GIRLS. ARE. COMPLICATED!

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8. 75

   Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years ago

   Sometimes, great things come from a bad situation...
   
   and I have living proof.

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9. 61

   IvyCrenshawposted 14 years ago

   Never trust a person who cannot give a straight answer to a simple question.  Misleading answers are as bad as lies.

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10. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 14 years ago

    before my husband I was used only as a sex toy...I learned that I need to be careful who I date especially when that person was getting out of the military and going back to where ihs ex wife and daughter lived

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11. 0

    china manposted 14 years ago

    I learned and am still learning (which must be a good sign) that after more than 40 years of many relationships I know nothing of how to behave or act in relationship matters! At the moment I am putting this down to my western self-centred and aggressive cultural behaviours - my beautiful, inside and outside, Chinese teacher for all of this despairs and thinks I am remedial kindergarten still, but I think I am improving by leaps and bounds!

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    1. 60

       JON EWALLposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Deleted
       1. 0

          china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Maybe you misunderstand me - I am trying it THE RIGHT WAY, under the instruction of my delightful chinese partner. One of the 'delights' of being in China is that culturally they are either way in advance of us socially or they never had the social skills driven out of them by warring their way into the modern world.
          I would say that the chances of a consultant in Chicago being of any use is as likely as a Chinese being unnecessarily rude.
          
          But thanks for your concern Jon - care is always appreciated.

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12. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    Alimony hurts.
    
    Never dated anybody, though; just married 'em....

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13. 64

    Anathposted 14 years ago

    Love is only an ilusion... it doesn't last forever

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    1. 0

       china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Not so - love has to be renewed every day. It is when we think we have got it and neglect it that it can appear an illusion. Love is first about caring and (as a student in these matters) I am taught that care is a state of being, not something you do when you think about it.

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       1. 64

          Anathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          So, why do we keep falling in love with different people?

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          1. 0

             china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             cos you keep forgetting to care and when the mood eventually comes on you again you find someone else is there ?

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             1. 79

                figmentposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                maybe b/c we we learned the lesson from the last person, and we're getting ready to make a whole new mistake.

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             2. 64

                Anathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                It could be... but  actually, thinking about it, I think it is because I tend to get bored easily.  If the other person is not challenging enough I quickly loose interest. 
                All and all, I love the feeling of being in love.

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                1. 0

                   china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Ah, therein lies the rub - Will Shakespeare - who also has a lot to say about being in love with love.
                   But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
                   I read this as Romeo is in love with the idea of love - and Juliet steps into the frame; being in love with falling in love, just as you describe If you get hooked on that then you are hooked on relationship starts and never get past the sunrise to  high noon, and then near sunset, when you get old and wrinkly like me, you are on your own kiddo.

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14. 68

    Ms Chievousposted 14 years ago

    Don't settle because you are afraid to be alone!

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    1. 60

       Chloe Comfortposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ditto

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       1. 79

          figmentposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          soooooo guilty for that one!!

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15. 62

    Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

    I learned that people can do and say anything, and you can believe it. And it probably means in the moment they even believe it themselves. However, in my last relationship, I was completely unprepared to be abandoned and cut off over night. There was never an unkind word. But it did reveal how volatile and unstable that person is, and I've had to learn a lot and see the signs clearly.

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    1. 79

       figmentposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I was completely in love with someone and abandoned overnight.   I learned never to believe someone's words "I promise".

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16. 60

    h.a.borcichposted 14 years ago

    When words and actions don't line up, actions tell the truth

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17. 61

    Chaotic Chicaposted 14 years ago

    I learned what a concussion was. All jokes aside, I learned that a mother's love can give oneself a strength not previously known.  I probably would have stayed longer if I had not decided that my kids, and I, deserved a better life.

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18. 0

    pinkyleeposted 14 years ago

    i learned i dont have to put up with controlling a**holes just because i think thats the best i can do... i know i deserve better and now i have a wonderful boyfriend that puts me above all else

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19. 72

    WriteAngledposted 14 years ago

    I learned that a man can put on act to worm his way to marriage and rent-free life in a house that already belongs to a woman. Once he is safe, he returns to lazy slob ways. When the relationship breaks down, he lies and cheats his way through the divorce courts to screw money out of that woman. It is the lazy and the wastrels of either sex who gain from divorce, over those who work hard and save.

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20. 95

    PegCole17posted 14 years ago

    Pay attention to what your long time friends are saying about your new boyfriend. They may see things that you miss while looking through your rose colored glasses.
    
    Never trust someone who doesn't like your dog. Or who you catch in the act of two-timing you. Or who buys someone else romantic cards while you're shopping with him. Or who leaves their kid for you to baby sit while they go out with another woman.
    
    Ok - I was an idiot. Yep but I'm much better now.

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21. 0

    EmpressFelicityposted 14 years ago

    Don't stay with someone whose modus operandi is emotional blackmail.

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22. 50

    DR.Pumpkinposted 14 years ago

    I have learned about relationship that you can't trust people cause in the beginning they are nice then thry become some rude people.that is why i have to be alone again.Maybe so people are the way they are due to themselves.

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23. 69

    Preethi Anushaposted 14 years ago

    the one thing I learned is -- neva get into relationships to early :0

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    1. 0

       china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       WOW - if you are the age that your pic seems to show then you learned that little (true) gem a bit early didn't you

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24. 84

    wychicposted 14 years ago

    I didn't date my last partner, I married him. I learned that if you let someone control you, it is an extremely rare person that won't, and some don't know where to stop. I, too, learned that I could do a lot more for my child's sake than I could for my own. Then I learned that the judicial system doesn't really care who has the better situation for a child, even when it's a very obvious difference, it tends to go to those with connections. Finally, I found out that 70% of men who fight for custody in the US win, the reason women still tend to get the kids more often is because some men either don't care or because some are grown up enough to realize that very young children need their mother so they don't fight for it. I then got to find out what it feels like to be a stay at home, work at home mother with no kid to take care of.

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    1. 61

       Chaotic Chicaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       All I can say is their father must have some major connections because my husband had to fight for 12 years to get his son even when mom admitted to doing drugs and moved with astonishing frequency! I also have a good friend who is still fighting for custody of two of his children because mom's new guy got her hooked and she's terribly addicted.  My ex-husband fought but I was clearly the better choice as I was always clean and had provided a stable healthy life for them away from him.  His parents are connected but he still lost.  I am in no way suggesting that you were using or are unfit, please don't misread that.  I am just suprised that so many fathers do win when I have seen the opposite. All I can say is never give up!!!!

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25. 58

    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    The thing I've learned is that - sadly - everybody lies. Such thing as a relationship is an illusion in itself.

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26. 78

    H.C Porterposted 14 years ago

    I learned how to say NO and how to walk away

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27. 80

    _cheryl_posted 14 years ago

    Never settle for anything less than what you truly want in all aspects of a relationship, the things you thought you could do without end up being what's most important.

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28. 60

    logic,commonsenseposted 14 years ago

    Nothing is forever.

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29. 54

    InGageposted 14 years ago

    I learned to ALWAYS trust my gut instincts and that it is okay to let go.

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30. 63

    alexandriaruthkposted 14 years ago

    tell your partner whats in your mind no matter what it is -- pertaining to the relationship or if you have some thoughts about the realtionship, always open up, and talk about it

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31. 60

    cottontailposted 14 years ago

    I was engaged to a guy who married someone else six weeks after we broke up and threatened to sue me and send me nasty emails. I've learned that love can put the blinders on and that getting involved with a sociopath can be very dangerous and destructive.
    
    At the end of the day, I learned its very easy to get swept up in the romance and that it takes a long time to truly get to know someone.

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