How do you keep that sexual magic alive in relationships?

1. 83

   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   No, this question isn't being asked for me, as I sadly don't have a girl friend at the moment.  although there is someone i like, but we're just friends, for now.  anyway, i just noticed there wasn't too many topics on this issue, so i thought it would be fun to see what you guys have to say about "keeping the sexual magic alive" in relationships.  a person once told me that intimacy with your partner can become routinely boring if you don't change it up a bit like role playing, yada, yada, yada...and such.  I wouldn't know since I never had a relationship longer than a month.  lol.  however, i was just a tad curious.  what do you guys do to keep that o so special magic alive in the bedroom to keep it from getting too routine? 

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Poppa Bluesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I've never found sex to be boring, especially if you have feelings for your partner, so I reject that argument. I can only speak from the male point of view though and for me, sex is a way of expressing to your partner the feelings you have for her in your heart, that you can't put into words. As long as you have those feelings for your partner, you'll never be bored!

      replyreport
   2. 60

      qwarkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      you can't!
      Man is "NATURALLY" a polygamist.
      He was not evolved to be a monogamist.
      Monogamy is a human construct.
      It defies man's genetic propensity.
      Human imagination is powerful!
      If your excitement is dwindling, pretend you are making illicit love to the sexy, sunbathing, thong wearing girl next door.
      Just don't scream her name when ya reach orgasm...Ok?   :-)

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Miss Takeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         but if you are female this fantasy wont work of course.

         replyreport
         1. 60

            qwarkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            MissTake:
            Fantasy?
            Would you pls explain why you use the word "Fantasy?"
            Thanks...

            replyreport
            1. 61

               megs78posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               well, what would you call what you wrote?  You said 'pretend you are making illicit...etc'  That sounds like a fantasy to me...just saying

               replyreport
         2. 76

            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Fantasy? What makes what Qwark said a fantasy, except in your own mind?
            
            The human sexual drive in and of itself is an animal all of it's own. It can pull the weak-minded and get them to do things, some others might deem as immoral or morally wrong.
            
            However, sexual magic as the topic has asked for, didn't mention anything about polygamy. Polygamy is a human term, defined by humans, so as to describe a specific action.
            
            The human sexual drive can be used to have sex with the opposite gender, either for enjoyment or for producing offspring.
            
            Just in case you missed, I opened a thread based on Sex? Please check it out for a better understanding.
            
            Just my thoughts.

            replyreport
         3. 0

            Deborah Sextonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Great advice..wouldn't want to be married to the person who said think of your neighbor and keep it secret....

            replyreport
      2. 60

         teddi6posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Qwark...
         
         I know I would be hurt if I found out that the man I was making love to felt the need to think of another woman while making love to me, I think the average woman would be a bit scorched.
         
         I would hope that the man in my bed finds me sexy and interesting enough to want to be with me and not my thong wearing neighbor. I figure if you have to fantasize about being with another woman in order to be with me, then you need to put your Batman underwear back on and go try to woo that girl in the thong.  I guarantee you she'll be looking for her sexual counterpart in a "juice bar" or a gym. 
         
         As you mature, Qwark, you'll find that sexual attraction is deeper than a "sexy" girl in a thong.  Attraction, and I mean real attraction, comes after time and experiences that bond you. When you find love you won't have to imagine sex with another woman because you won't be able to think of another woman. That woman you fall in love with will fill ever nook and cranny of your heart and mind.
         
         Haven't you heard that grass that is greener on the other side of the fence is often Astro Turf.

         replyreport
   3. 0

      Deborah Sextonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This comes with intimacy...Intimacy is closeness, respect, love and trust..True intimacy feels like spirituality (I'm not talking religion)

      replyreport
   4. 0

      Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      exercise!!!!

      replyreport
   5. 56

      Beckysbedroomposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Deleted
      1. 68

         Pearldiverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         YOU Are a Spammer...... I have just Reported You for being deeply in need of a job involving Sex and Travel.. you know F... Off....

         replyreport
   6. 0

      Contriceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      light some candles and put on that special dress he likes...exciting every time!!!

      replyreport
2. 71

   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   For one thing, it isn't meant to be kept in the bedroom.  "Sexual Magic" exists outside of the bedroom too, and I'm not talking about sex on the table!  I am talking about cuddling, romantic walks, sharing with each other things that you wouldn't share with anyone else in the world.  In other words, make your partner feel special outside of the bedroom in order to have repeated glorious nights in the bedroom.

   replyreport
   1. 83

      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      wow, that's some good advice there.  i'll be sure to keep it in mind if i ever need it.  thanks.

      replyreport
      1. 71

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         yw     lol

         replyreport
3. 71

   wyanjenposted 13 years ago

   nothing beats a little teasing.
   especially via text. it makes my day to get a quick message while i'm at work. by the time we get together, we're all revved up because we've been trading text messages for hours.
   
   PS no, you can't borrow my cell phone. the auto-fill dictionary is filled with every obscenity known to mankind. we would both be horrified if you read it.

   replyreport
4. 86

   donotfearposted 13 years ago

   For married couple, keep up with the national average.
   
   All others, I don't know.

   replyreport
5. 59

   h.a.borcichposted 13 years ago

   This thread reminded me of something a dear friend told me once...She confessed she fantasized about 2 men. One doing the dishes and the other the laundry

   replyreport
   1. 71

      wyanjenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      Holly! How have you been?

      replyreport
      1. 59

         h.a.borcichposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Doing ok - the cold and rain has my pain levels hovering 6-8 on the pain scale, but I am dreaming of all the flowers popping up in my flower beds How bout you? Been thinking about you and hoping all is well Holly
         PS I hope you never lose that phone!

         replyreport
         1. 71

            wyanjenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            If my mother had a flat tire and wanted to borrow my phone, I would say - no.
            Sorry, but   just no.
            I considered writing a hub about post-marital sex. Like, what is appropriate?  (I think the answer to that is- anything!!!)
            
            
            I haven't been around a lot and I haven't seen you much, so I was thinking about you. Sorry about your pain... but yes, the flowers are on the way. We're almost to spring

            replyreport
   2. 60

      teddi6posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Ha!!! I love it.
      
      My fantasy man takes out the trash.

      replyreport
6. 76

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Romance must be kept as a vital aspect of the relationship. Otherwise, one or both, lose interest. This is a mutual thing between man and woman. Each are to be a part of each others romantic fun.
   
   They(man/woman) should learn early in life and made to understand that "romance" is the key ingredient to how to build a quality relationship. Both, man and woman, should have grown into the knowing of romance. Some don't have a clue. Thus, they settle.
   
   Just my thoughts.
   
   Btw- I did write a Hub about Relationships. And, Romance is the key to the "sexual" aspect of the relationship, not to the relationship itself. Trust, Honesty and Communication are the keys to making a quality relationship.

   replyreport
7. 83

   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   anyone else care to share. 

   replyreport
   1. 0

      china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Nah !!  threesome is not my idea of sexual magic

      replyreport
   2. 65

      Faybe Bayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Okay, I bought a book once, which one of my daughter's found and stole from me btw.
      
      It wasn't a raunchy type Kama Sutra, but the oriental one with tips on how people should treat each other. It is a beautifully written volume and I have known friends who actually gave it as a wedding gift too.
      The artwork is amazing and the history of the guy who translated it into English is fascinating.
      Now come and meet Jman, he's currently straddling two forums.

      replyreport
      1. 71

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Do you remember the name of the book?

         replyreport
         1. 65

            Faybe Bayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I will look it up for you.brb.
            
            Here is the link from amazon. I didn't get it on my ID for amazon, so I make nothing posting the link. It is beautifully illustrated.
            
            http://www.amazon.com/dp/0892814411?tag … 1YBQK&

            replyreport
      2. 61

         Lynda Garyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Kama Sutra "raunchy"?  Really?  Wow. I suddenly feel very ... slutty. LOL

         replyreport
8. 0

   Lecieposted 13 years ago

   cook me a great meal and i'll give you a great night...

   replyreport
9. 0

   JeanMeriamposted 13 years ago

   I've been married 16 years and have never resorted to role playing or anything else. It seems very desperate and canned to me.
   
   What matters definitely is what happens outside the bedroom: kindness, respect, cuddling. A lot of it is spending time together doing things you enjoy so you feel connected when you get into the bedroom.
   
   The biggest thing though is taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Feeling bad about yourself or your partner has to be the biggest romance killer.
   
   And you have to make the relationship a priority.

   replyreport
10. 61

    megs78posted 13 years ago

    Yes, taking care of yourself phsically is very important to keeping the sexual magic alive in a marriage.  If you don't feel good about your appearance, you won't be inclined to show it off to your partner very often.  Total sex killer.
    
    AND, have sex more than once a month for Gods sake.  Its healthy and fun, so do it and do it often!  Can't stress this enough...

    replyreport
11. 0

    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    10 toes among other things.

    replyreport
12. 67

    Ben Evansposted 13 years ago

    A lot of people think of sex and try to compare it to a norm.  When we aren't keeping up with the others, we think of ourselves as being abnormal or dysfunctional.
    
    The sexual part of a relationship is just that.......a part of a relationship.  There are many aspects to making a relationship flourish. 
    
    When the sexual part is seperated from the relationship, it is shallow and empty.  There is no excitment when everything has been tried.  After all sex is just an act.
    
    It can be apart of a wonderful sharing experience.  Couples need to talk and let the other know what their needs are. 
    
    Some people will have sex several times a day and others will have it once a month but these norms have nothing to do with our relationships.  It is between us and our partner.
    
    We all have a sexual animal inside us.  If we view sex as something seperate from the relationship, we will get bored.  If we view it as a beautiful part of our relationship, it will flourish and the animal inside will feel satiated and never be bored.

    replyreport
    1. 88

       Deborah Demanderposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       First, be nice outside the bedroom. Have fun. Like each other in the rest of our life, play, flirt and tease. Then when you reach that moment, you will already be on the same page.

       replyreport
13. 61

    Lynda Garyposted 13 years ago

    I SWEAR I'm not trying to promote my own hubs, but I DO have two hubs on this:
    
    For men:http://hubpages.com/hub/Making-Nice-with-the-Wife-Tips-to-Get-Her-to-Smile
    
    For women: http://hubpages.com/hub/9-Years-of-Marr … at-Do-I-Do

    replyreport
    1. 61

       Lynda Garyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       try this again ...
       
       For men:  http://hubpages.com/hub/Making-Nice-wit … r-to-Smile
       
       let's see if the link worked this time...

       replyreport
14. 74

    myownworldposted 13 years ago

    what you need to keep 'magic alive in the bedroom' :
    - love/attraction
    - time alone with each other...
    - willingness to experiment
    - confidence in your body
    - clean crisp sheets help
    - And of course, sexy lingerie!

    replyreport
15. 60

    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    G-string

    replyreport
16. 0

    Miss Takeposted 13 years ago

    the right person,
    the right music,
    the right mood,
    the right timing......
    if all else fails, a few drinks,

    replyreport
17. 49

    deviousindianposted 13 years ago

    Suprise him with sexy lingerie he likes to see you in! My man loves the lingerie I buy from http://www.seans.us/

    replyreport
18. 64

    Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

    adjust the speed, intensity and the depth of your begging

    replyreport
19. 60

    Originposted 13 years ago

    You keep it alive by doing lots and lots of foreplay.

    replyreport
    1. 73

       Paradise7posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yeah, and there's all kinds of toys you can play with, too!  Don't be shy, if you have a steady partner.  He/'she will loosen up the more you loosen up.

       replyreport
20. 0

    china manposted 13 years ago

    Find one of those rare woman who still knows how to be feminine and get what she wants through being herself - rather than through whining, whingeing, threats, tantrums, sulking, pretending to be eternally sick and other retarded emotional behaviours - and then just be a man in all its strong, gentle, caring and trustworthy masculinity.

    replyreport
    1. 73

       Paradise7posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       You have issues, doncha fella?

       replyreport
       1. 0

          china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yes I do - a lifetime of so-called relationships affected by weak women taking advantage of feminist 'freedoms' to cover their lazy nasty but cute a***s!! even when they are treated with equality and compassion.    But I have now found a real woman and all these things are just a distant bleating memory

          replyreport
          1. 56

             Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Funny how problems always turn out to be the other person's fault. The other can go from 'real' to weak, lazy, etc. so quickly...

             replyreport
21. 60

    Courtney_CollinsDposted 12 years ago

    Simple: Try new things.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Sunny_Sposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Couldnt agree more and then in a couple of months relive those special moments

       replyreport
22. 58

    ProfessorProveItposted 12 years ago

    Hi Steve!
    It's been awhile!
    Tell the truth, I think it's about trying new things and being open to new ideas.
    Hey!
    It works for me anyway,
    Steve.
    It's about being flexible and yet attentive too,
    Steve.
    Well, how is BC anyway?
    Sure haven't heard from her in awhile either.
    Probably busy--no doubt!

    replyreport
    1. 83

       Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       idk what happened to b.c. to be honest.  it's been a long time since i heard from her too.  however, i'll be sure to tell you said hi if i hear from her again soon.

       replyreport
23. 59

    wytegarillazposted 12 years ago

    by enjoying each others comany , trying to please the other person, be adventourous , http://hubpages.com/hub/Love-Making-not-just-sex has got some ideas

    replyreport
24. 91

    akirchnerposted 12 years ago

    The same way you keep anything alive - nurture it.  Spend as much time as you can taking care of that part of your life together and you will never have a problem keeping it 'real' or 'alive'. 
    
    In my humble opinion, people have problems because they stop thinking about the important things and get side tracked to doing other things - or just lazy about things that they should not be lazy about.  Before you know it, you can find yourself in a rut.
    
    So be spontaneous, be open, and love like today was your last day on earth.  With that in mind, you can't go wrong!

    replyreport
25. 68

    Fluffymetalposted 12 years ago

    This is very interesting to me b/c I'm falling head over heals for someone I've never met.  We've just been talking and texting for several weeks.  He lives where I'll be moving in a few weeks.  We actually had sexting (or whatever its called) It was great.  We didn't talk dirty, we texted dirty thoughts and pictures.  FUN!!

    replyreport
26. 67

    waynetposted 12 years ago

    I always wave my magic wand at my mrs and the magic just happens!

    replyreport
    1. 68

       Fluffymetalposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Where do you buy those?  I need one.  Or maybe this guy has one....hmmmm

       replyreport
27. 60

    ediggityposted 12 years ago

    Forget the magic wand, I just use the magic stick.

    replyreport
    1. 68

       Fluffymetalposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       LMAO

       replyreport
    2. 67

       waynetposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yeah, I just use my wangdoodle!

       replyreport