why relationships fail

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  1. spkanu profile image61
    spkanuposted 13 years ago

    Relationships fail because man and woman are sinners. If you relationship with God is in the "pits" what makes you think you will be able to mentain a relationship with you fellow man. The first problem I first recognize in relationships is that woman and men think differently. How do you expect to put two different minds to think alike? The only solution tends to come from the teachings of the Bible. It tells a woman to be submissive to her husband and the man to do the same to his wife. I learn that if party is trying to please the other, then both will have solve one of the many problems in a relationship. Then what about being honest? In many cultures a child is tought how to lie and decive people before they a six years old. If you can't fight this problem and move out of this trap, your problems will never end. It is stated in the Bible that God hates a lying tongue. How can you trust someone that lies when asked about small things, exeggerate stories for any reason etc. When it comes to cheating these type of people just do not think about getting cought but only how to tell you a good story. Cheating is subject in every relationship and can only be avoided with God's help. No matter what kind of man or woman you have the potential for cheating is great. When they are ready to do so they will rationalize on things like revenge, money, someone new and exciting and even...for men a naked beautiful willing woman with a better or different body than his.
    Above it all we end up back at the point where if he or she does not fear God, he or she will have the potential to act differently when you are not around. You should look for a God fearing partner and pray everyday to God for strength for you and him and to protect the family. When God is in control He has the ability to change peoples mind and or distroy the time and opportunity that one has plan to reach a goal. If He allows tests to enter the realtionship, usually it's a test to make you both stronger and will provide strength to overcome the problems. I have never seen a good marriage that have laster over 20 years with out God in the middle.

    1. Stimp profile image61
      Stimpposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      And how many relationships have YOU been in that gives such great insight??

      1. Bronson_Hub profile image60
        Bronson_Hubposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        He's in a relationship with God.  So if you have a voice in your head that tells you what to do, that automatically makes everything you say entirely legitimate, apparently.

    2. idreesfarooq profile image60
      idreesfarooqposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Relationship never fails if you learn how to compromise.

      1. richtwf profile image60
        richtwfposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Absolutely agree.

      2. profile image51
        Aliartzposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Agree....although you shouldnt get into a relationship if you and the partner does not share similarities

    3. IdiditAlready profile image59
      IdiditAlreadyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      There are many and I mean MANY divorced people in church.

    4. profile image59
      C.J. Wrightposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Relationships don't fail. People do.

      1. profile image56
        Mae005posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        I agree, completely.

      2. profile image51
        Aliartzposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Also Agree.....it's the people in the relationships...

        Just like money isnt the root of evil, it's the hands the money is in

    5. psychicesmeralda profile image60
      psychicesmeraldaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I had a client that  was calling psychics for insight into her love life Exodus 22:18 "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live" and now it gets better she covet her pastor whom was married "Thou shall not covet" Exodus 20:17 and yes she was a married woman Exodus 20:14 "Thou shall not commit adultery "and here is the cherry on top she had plans to become a future pastor herself so relationships fail not because they do not have God in their lives because I am more than sure this woman had God in every area of her life its because people in relationships get settled into their relationships and it becomes a boring routine and of course lack of communication that is when lust for another steps in and love is over why not lust and love your partner as you once did? Keep that couples date night on once in awhile break the routine! That is why my psychic line is on 7 days a week for those whom Lust and Those whom love and those whom get lost in between!

      Sign up now if you are having trouble in your relationship and get direction before it all fails!

      https://prodca.click4talk.com/c4a/usign … 4a=love911

  2. FuzzyCookie profile image74
    FuzzyCookieposted 13 years ago

    Maybe you should make a hub about it. eh?


  3. dawnM profile image58
    dawnMposted 13 years ago

    One of the biggest reasons that a relationship fails is that we just dont choose the right person for ourselves.  Figure out who you are and exactly what you are looking for in that special person and stick to your guns, don't get desperate and keep your eyes open meaning don't fall into lust thinking that it is love.

    1. 4tune profile image60
      4tuneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yep even still - you can love someone completely with your mind and heart without lust having even came into the picture such as in a long distance deal, and they can still not love you back - The sooner you know the sooner you can move on, avoid anyone that want to keep you guessing, They don't love you and don't care either, Just looking to have you on the back burner for just in case they cant get something hotter looking or whatever. And God knows looks mean so much to some people even when you are willing to settle for less as they may be a total nerd.

  4. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 13 years ago

    this is depressing....

  5. profile image57
    ecriderposted 13 years ago

    Because of a lack of compatibility, not meeting each others standards or a willingness to compromise to keep each other happy.

  6. Stimp profile image61
    Stimpposted 13 years ago

    Relationsips fail because people grow apart, and perhaps are not willing to go the long haul.  MANY relationships fail because one or both of the parties are insecure and don't love themselves.  You cannot love anyone unless you first love yourself.  There are alot of couples out there thriving that don't even believe in God....SHOCKED ARE YOU!!.....

    Sorry, gotta debunk your little piece of wisdom, there, son.

  7. confusedgee profile image57
    confusedgeeposted 13 years ago

    While you make valid points relationships fail because they weren't meant to work out.

  8. Stimp profile image61
    Stimpposted 13 years ago

    Alright lets be honest....perhaps one or more of the people in the relationship are just a horses a$$....case in point:


  9. pylos26 profile image71
    pylos26posted 13 years ago

    Them bells peal in both directions sister…jesus in the bedroom creates a vacancy for one or the other more times than not.

    Perhaps we should grow a little before we broadcast our religious righteous sauce over the planet. Seems a little experience and commonsense would be a welcome ingredient.

  10. Dorothee-Gy profile image65
    Dorothee-Gyposted 13 years ago

    In my opinion, relationships fail because over time, we shift our focus. In the beginning we are all about how wonderful our newly found love is, and over time, it is all about the dirty underwear and the bad habits of the other.

    If we could leave our noses out of the other one's bad habits and concentrate on the things we love about them, we would have heaven on earth with almost every partner.

    What we focus on, we attract, that's a powerful law, and we won't change it.

    1. ksha16 profile image57
      ksha16posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Why are you talking about dirty underwears. Did you used to focus on them in your relationships?

  11. profile image51
    smonkyposted 13 years ago

    because of Facebook!! (no seriously, its the top 3 reasons for divorce).

    ive come to think that the quantity of people being abused, molested as they are growing up is on the rise. that equals a higher percentage of people messed up in the head and dont know how to handle a real relationship. read into that however you will but it makes sense to me.

    also the popularity of being in a committed relationship just isnt the "cool" thing to do anymore. well at least to those under 30. if you look at society and the impact that hollywood, tabloids and even music has on todays youth you might understand better. how many marriages that fail DONT get published in a tabloid? especially ones that exist in hollywood. almost every song on the radio that "kids" listen to has something about cheating, hooking up, being independent or leaving their SO in it. its pretty depressing. and kids even under the age of 10 hear it. ever heard the Pussycat Dolls "dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" cmon, what is that going to tell anyone? and ive heard little girls walking through the mall singing it to themselves.

    the value of the relationship is just in the dumps today. its not like it was in the 50s where you got married for life, thick and thin, ups and downs. people just choose to give up to easily, or rush into something that is just the worst idea for them.

    1. Sunnyglitter profile image79
      Sunnyglitterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I can believe the Facebook thing.  That has caused lots of problems for me.

  12. profile image0
    PoeticPiscesposted 13 years ago

    Well I agree with most of everyones response...I too think internet and several sites have alot to do with making it easier to seek out the opposite sex. I too, experienced that, just posted a hub about emotional & physical affairs. I had to do alot of soul searching to find out 'WHY' I did the things I did, come to terms with it, and try to find the power to forgive myself. I also have had a very hard time trusting my partner now, for he too has been on various sites and talked to many women, and my fear is he still does. The internet just makes it so much easier, although so fake as well. What most people have to realize what the other person is typing out there in cyberspace, probably is not what or who they truly are. We all can make ourselves look much better on paper, or on the screen, then our reality! Its all fantasy. Also I believe with all my heart, people look at relationships as disposable, that "if this one doesnt work, then move on to the next!" instead of working at something special you have, or not throwing away someone you have invested alot of time into. And really looking deeply at the good you have, instead of possibly just a bad batch, that you will get over. For NONE of us are perfect, everyone is flawed.....and LOVE, true love is not flawless!!!!

  13. islandgirl06 profile image60
    islandgirl06posted 13 years ago

    Good question why relationship fail? I could say it's all about honesty, and feelings. When we finally found the person that we thought we love, all we have are happiness and dreams. Either we spend our life with that person or not. But here is the surprise of all, when and if we marry the person that got our heart, our life is pure perfect without a doubt. We forgot to question our self, if what we have will last forever. That's when things happen, couples will start being comfortable with their life. It's either the wife or the husband who will get tired or bored and before we know it, one will end up looking for someone that will make his or her life more exciting, better than what they have being married to just one person. But this is only my own opinion, mind you!!

  14. A la carte profile image60
    A la carteposted 13 years ago

    A lot of relationships fail because we get too comfortable and take our partners for granted. When that partner starts to get fed up we get resentful. Sometimes we will make a short term effort that patches things up for a while then slip back into indifference again.
    I am one of the worlds worst at commitment even although I know that relationships need work  to succeed so feel free to ignore what I say. smile

  15. WryLilt profile image89
    WryLiltposted 13 years ago

    "The first problem I first recognize in relationships is that woman and men think differently"

    Which is why homosexuality is so great....

  16. profile image0
    klarawieckposted 13 years ago

    because people get into relationships blind and when they begin to see the truth about the other person, they try to change them.

    1. nlowman profile image60
      nlowmanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Nicely done, klarawieck.

  17. Beyond-Politics profile image76
    Beyond-Politicsposted 12 years ago

    I have a better view. Read my blog posting, "What Is Love?"

  18. breakingnews profile image40
    breakingnewsposted 12 years ago

    Compromise is first point and thing to not break and stop relationships, as Relationship never fails if you learn how to compromise with your partners, friends and or any other.

    1. charkamman profile image60
      charkammanposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Guilty and feeling very very very sad that I was the one who suggested we break up. Stupid stupid stupid.
      As long as we were wearing our rings I flet there was hope, and now it gets much harder.
      But I haven't lost hope yet...
      Thanks for all the answers here, they do help.

  19. New Life profile image60
    New Lifeposted 12 years ago

    I feel that relationship fail is because that is the least taught subject manner we have to today... It's not taught in schools how to develop healthy relationship.. and when children have parents that don't have great ones they grow up and repeat what they have seen.  The bible teaches about good relationships, but their are so many people who do not read it.  So I feel that the it should start in the schools to change a generation of healthy relationships what it takes.

  20. Jaggedfrost profile image60
    Jaggedfrostposted 12 years ago

    Most of your answers can be boiled down to one concept as being the source of relationship problems: Selfishness.  Just about every evil that breaks up a relationship happens when one or both find their own purposes or interests maybe even needs and desires over rule the life giving and rejuvenating cure for relationship sickness of seeking out the other person's problem and work to make them whole. The funny thing is that if both partners will get over their ego and fear of not being satisfied and seek out the needs of their partner they find that their partner is doing the same thing and both of their needs get met and something more substantial happens at the same time that wouldn't have happened if they had spent their time saving their own skin.  They become closer together with every bump in the road.

  21. profile image0
    rainbowsparklesposted 12 years ago

    people cheat and thats how trust is tossed out the window and after that you can never make it work

  22. AebsWorld profile image60
    AebsWorldposted 12 years ago

    Love is like sleep


    Sleeping used to be something that I loved. Unfortunately, like most love I experience, the love I have for sleep is fleeting and changes over time. The frequency in which I spend time sleeping fluctuates because my life pulls us apart. On occasion and again depending on my mood or life's circumstances I'm convinced that something is more important than sleep. Something fun or entertaining.... something that I would appreciate more than sleep.

    But what?

    What could I possibly appreciate more than sleep? My sleep is a loyal, dependable, companion. Sleep is necessary, healing, relaxing, soothing. Most amazingly you can do anything and be anything while you sleep.

    You can sore high above the earth and feel the wind beneth your wings. You can travel to the far reaches of the earth, in a matter of moments. You can spend time with loved ones from both present and past. Live the life you've always wished for but never imagined you could have. All of this you can experience if you just take the time to sleep.

    Like most of my relationships, I typically underappreciated the time spent together until there's no time spent together at all. I believe this pertains to most relationships. If I would take the time to sleep, appreciate it. Dedicate myself to a regular sleeping schedule and stick with it. I would be happier.

  23. Jaggedfrost profile image60
    Jaggedfrostposted 12 years ago

    lol Divorce isn't a sin, it is mutual assured stupidity.  Who cares if you see them in church. Give them both a sign but the one who was the bigger dolt, the man in many cases give the bigger sign.  I am sure they will use them to put giant goose eggs on each other's heads. 

    Sure, cheating may be involved. Men cheat because they miss the wanton lust of their teenage years and their wife doesn't behave like the care for nothing woman they married in the first place.
    Women cheat because they are tired of being lonely and being sacrificed on the alter of whatever keeps their man out of their bed.  Either way it is still selfishness.

    The ironic thing is that their primary thing that they spit at each other is that they have become the way they are because they are tired of living to the expectation of the other person.  It is ironic because that is how they got married and lustfully attached in the first place.

    Admitted, life makes me and my wife busy and we have definitely  not had the smoothest ride.  I was insane for two years of it.  We were however married due to being interested in the other's happiness and even if life still isn't perfect between us and we both have had plenty of times we have wanted to walk away, we haven't.

  24. Jaggedfrost profile image60
    Jaggedfrostposted 12 years ago

    this opinion exempted, lol I was apparently a bit too tired to write the first on and it came out as blaaaaah blaah blaah.  I will put the edited version in a hub so that it actually makes some sense as a cohesive argument.

  25. Hotplate profile image60
    Hotplateposted 12 years ago

    I've learned that communication has something to do it.

  26. graceomalley profile image83
    graceomalleyposted 12 years ago

    I think relationships fail because of a lack of relationship skills. "Love is not enough" as someone said.

  27. Greek One profile image62
    Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

    relationships fail for 3 main reasons...

    1) women are not able to serve their men and meet their every single need

    2) women are not able to accept the fact that their men need multiple sexual partners to feel happy and relaxed

    3) women kick their mates in the groin far too hard when they bring up points 1) and 2) above for discussion

  28. dashingscorpio profile image83
    dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

    Relationships mainly fail because we don't have a handle on who we are, what we want, and what we need in a mate.
    This leads us to be impulsive, fly by the seat of our pants, or go on autopilot when relationship opportunities present themselves.

    If you want an apple but buy an onion, whose fault is that?

    Basically the number one reason relationships fail is because WE select the wrong mates for ourself.

  29. ftclick profile image56
    ftclickposted 12 years ago

    distance for months apart and/or a determined mother-in-law

  30. Rafini profile image69
    Rafiniposted 12 years ago

    Relationships fail because the people in them fail to compromise, communicate, and commit themselves to the other.  The core problem I see?  It all has to do with - Who's in Control.

  31. Disturbia profile image60
    Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

    This is just my opinion but I'm not sure that because a relationship is over it is necessarily a failure. I think the
    expectation that two people will remain together for life is artificial and we believe it only because it's what we have been told by religious leaders.  I have believed this all my life, that relationships like anything else have a shelf-life.  They run their course and then eventually end. 

    I'm not saying that two people can't live together forever, and they should if that's what they both want and it works for them. But that is rare and not everybody will have that kind of relationship. People have always stayed together for reasons other than love.  They have stayed due to family pressure, children, financial reasons, and because they believe it's expected and the right thing to do.  But that doesn't always mean they love each other, or even want to spend any time together and lots of couples who have been married for decades don't even see each other and live very separate lives.

    When it's over, you know it.  Just because you understand that your relationship with this particular person has past it's expiration date, doesn't mean failure.  It just means it's time to part ways and move on to someone or something else.

    To me, a failure is when the people within the relationship are dishonest or disrespectful to each other, by being abusive or cheating.  If you no longer have desire for your partner and you want someone new, be honest enough to say so and act accordingly.  Part ways and move on.  Don't drag out the drama by making promises you have no intention to keep.  You don't cheat on someone you love, you don't beat them, and you don't disrespect them.  So if you are determined to stay within the relationship, be loyal to it. If not, get out and move on.  There is no failure, just another page turned in the book of your life.

    1. Rafini profile image69
      Rafiniposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Disturbia, I like your answer! 

      (except the part about the expectation of two people staying together for life being artificial - I don't agree with that part)

  32. Joy56 profile image67
    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    you have your answer.  People never expect them to last in the first place......

  33. kj30605 profile image59
    kj30605posted 12 years ago

    I would recommend the book "The 5 Love Languages" to anyone wondering why relationships and marriages fail. It's awfully insightful, and may change your life as it did mine.

  34. IntimatEvolution profile image69
    IntimatEvolutionposted 12 years ago

    Break down in communication.

  35. Stacie L profile image86
    Stacie Lposted 12 years ago

    I always hear. "we both want different things.." I think thats such a cop-out! hmm


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