OK, so long story short: I'm going to court with my fiance over a change in custody case that his ex has brought on...
Tomorrow is my first day in court with him. I really want to "wow" the socks off of everyone with my first impression - in a responsible, respectful, and appropriate manner.
The judge is an older female. I've got my outfit all picked out, the only thing I'm worried about right now is the right hair style.
You can see from my profile picture that I have long, red hair.
What would look the best? A french twist, a bun, a pony tail?
I want to make the best first impression that I can here - I'm sort of an obsessing perfectionist on it.
My outfit: a grey dress with black belt, a black suit jacket, pearl necklace, "nude" nylons, and basic low black pumps.
Any tips/advice you can give me to make my look complete I would appreciate very much.
I'd go with the French Twist - classic and chic, it'd look great with your outfit. Very professional, yet soft. (as long as the skirt isn't too short - should be just above the knees or at the knees)
I am in love with my outfit... lol
the skirt rests just above the knee. It is very "office"/professional looking.
I went with a bun, but I think I'll do a french twist next time - I do love the way that looks. I just worry because I'm not great at doing my own hair & it is so thick and long. I may have to bring in help to get it "just so".
Thanks for your input though, I appreciate it.
Ooh. That would have been good information....when my hair was longer I used to twist it into a French Twist while sitting and watching a movie, but when I'd get up and move around it would fall. I've no idea how to get it to stay put! lol
one of my sisters is a hair dresser. she gets so mad at me for always just wearing a pony-tail all the time. she's all "you're hair is so beautiful! why don't you style it?"
and I'm all "How long have you been my sister? If you want my hair done up, you'll have to move next door and come over to do it for me every morning"... lol
Depending on when the next trial starts - I might need to drive that hour out of the way to have her do something with it
No fashion advice, just be sure to leave any sunglasses and mobile phones at home (or in your vehicle).
Also make sure there's nothing that slightly resembles a weapon on your keyring. And empty any pockets of change. Assuming there's a metal detector in the foyer that will make it easier and less nerve wracking to avoid it going off unnecessarily.
I don't generally carry anything that could be mistaken as a weapon - I don't even have an emery board in my purse.
But I will make sure my cell phone is turned off. Thanks for your advice.
I dont carry weapon like things either, but people were a little concerned for a minute when the xray thing showed something odd, made of metal, in my purse. I forgot that the clip to tighten a seatbelt for a child's carseat was in there.
Go with a bun, if it feels comfortable adn you dotn watn ot be distracted by worrying about yoru hair. While first impressions may matter, its not everything. Your case is looked at based on information provided. You need to worry about how you speak, and conduct yoruself. Present your points clearly and respectfuly. There is no way your going to "wow" a judge based on your outfit. Good luck!! Custody trials are not fun.
The reason why I started this post on my hair/outfit - is because I have already sunk heart & soul into the data for the case. I have 3 ring binders with information in triplicate on all of the valid and pertanent information supporting our side of the case.
I've spent more hours than I can count making sure that I have substantial, factual data to provide all wrapped up in a neat and organized fashion.
At this point in the game, the only thing left for me to obsess over is making sure that everything down to my fingernails screams - HEY - this lady is serious, respectful, respectable & has her act more together than anyone else that has crossed my court room before.
I am not a shallow or vein person in the least. I just want to go above and beyond what is expected in every aspect of my presentation.
Darkside had good suggestions. The suit you've picked out sounds perfect. I'd wear your hair the way you normally wear it. You'll be more comfortable and come across as more comfortable and confident.
I wear a pony tail every day. A bun or a nice conservative "up do" wouldn't bother me at all - and if it helps, then I'm all for doing what it takes to make that good first impression.
In that case, I agree with you. A ponytail may be too casual. Good luck!
Done & Back. I went with a braided bun. I think it looked nice, but it didn't even matter because the judge was behind & ended up only seeing the lawyers... grrrrr
All of that preparing & planning the perfect outfit & hair for nothing
Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to "wow" the judge for the actual trial.
The last thing that i would be trying to go for in front of a judge (especially a woman judge) is a "knock one's socks off" look
I would go with whatever looks most conservative, be neatly groomed and attract the least attention possible.
Any time I've ever been to court nobody there was paying much attention to anyone else's outfits (unless the outfit was outrageously inappropriate or unless the person seemed obviously to the fact that it was court). People need to concentrate on winning and coming across as if they know it isn't a fashion show. I you give off vibes that you're trying wow socks you'll lose credibility. Planning outfits is for Christmas parties and proms.
the "wow" factor I was going for wasn't "playboy hot" or anything - just a very respectful, responsible look that impresses the judge on how serious I take being in her court room.
some people don't show that same respect and think that black jeans are just as good as black suit pants.
my intentions with the "wow" factor is to display my level of commitment to the seriousness I give the matter at hand, and the respect I have for the judge and the job she has in front of her.
I think showing respect is a very very good thing. So you had the preliminary hearing?
No I think it is important to dress appropriately in court, judges see it as a sign of respect. They frown upon anything that looks cheap or trashy. Sounds like the suit you picked out would be good. And any hairstyle will probably be fine. Red hair always looks good when it looks like you took the time to syle it. I'd say after all that, think about your makeup if you wear it. I'd go with something natural looking, not too bold. Don't wear bright red lipstick or overpowering rouge, and brown or ash gray eyeshadow, not blue or purple etc.
Judges hate the Jezebel look. Especially a female judge.
for example, don't show up at court wearing what I am.
Since a barely ever wear make up - it doesn't take much. I pretty much only have natural/nutral tones in my make up arsinal.
There is nothing in my wardrobe or make up supply that would say "party girl". I'm more of a Betty Crocker meats June Cleaver.
well if i were you, id wear the same outfit since the judge didt see you with that french twist, it sounds very respectful, although, the judge probably dosnt care, but when you dress apropriate, you act apropriate to the situation. good like in the big trial!.
Good luck in your case!
A bun would be very professional. As for an outfit, yours sounds o.k., but it never hurts to wear a full suit. That is ultimately what I would suggest. Always make sure your shoes are closed toe, as well. I think it's great how you want to dress to respect the solemnity of the court proceedings. I've spent a lot of time in courthouses and still shudder when I see people roaming the halls in casual wear. One of my friends clerks for a family court judge and he does occasionally comment on outfits to his staff (i.e. "can't believe he wants custody of the kids and he showed up in jeans today".) It doesn't impact their decision, but they surely notice. While the facts of your case and the manner in which you answer questions are the most important factors, a conservative outfit can never, EVER hurt!
funny how you put that, because when we went my fiance's ex-wife showed up in white capri's with a white 3/4 length sleeve shirt under a bright pink, knit sweater-vest & her husband showed up in a button down shirt and black jeans.
I wore the outfit mentioned above & my fiance wore a blue, long sleeve suit shirt with black suit pants & belt.
We, by far, looked more serious about the importance of the matter.
I'm sure it will be very similar on the actual trial day.
I think a half ponytail would work for you as well, using a sophisticated clip. It's neat but not overly done.
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