When is enough enough?

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   frogg272posted 14 years ago

   Say you're in a relationship.  It can be a romance, friendship, professional, really anything.  But you're in this relationship, and it's not terrific.  It's not bad, and you get what you need from it, but it's also not everything you hoped it would be. 
   
   
   I know I have several relationships (romantic and other) that have grown stale. As much as I love the other person, and as much as I know they care for me, something's just not there anymore. But these relationships go through waves, and in three weeks (totally arbitrary number) we could be stellar again.
   
   So at what point to you walk away?
   
   I'm going to write a hub about this soon, and I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts and stories, as well.

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      Lady_Eposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If you care for the person or love them, then it means your hearts in it. In that case, I'd say give it a boost. (Go on holiday together, really open up to each other and see if you both want a future and all that lovey dovey stuff...)  Sometimes, this is all a relationship needs to get going again and wax strong.
      
      However, if you have no feelings in your heart for this person, that means the fire's gone out and its time to walk away... 
      Not even worth giving it another try.
      Good Luck.

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      Writer Riderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This would be a great hub. Personally, I believe that you're looking for love in another person so you might never be fulfilled. Or maybe you just need to date your lover again rather than just being a partner. Have you attempted to take your relationship back to a time before you were bound to each other by obligations?

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         Writer Riderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I didn't mean that in a mean way, I'm just saying that sometimes people assume that they'll find happiness in other people rather than trying to please themselves, care for themselves, love themselves. Or maybe the relationship is simply not new anymore so the obvious solution is to attempt to take it to a time when you felt love without the humdrum of everyday. If all those fail, maybe you're relationship can't be salvaged.

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   Drew Breezzyposted 14 years ago

   When you lose respect for that person. Or when the relationship just naturally dies out....

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      Lady_Eposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   Being emotionally available and honest within 3 relationships would be tiring for anybody every relationship takes 2 to work it ...not just one.

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      anjalichughposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I completely agree. Every relationship takes too much work. The question is ...whether one can put in a genuine effort in every new relationship. I guess most people get drained out in the first one only.

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      AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Now I enjoy this answer, isn't that the truth.

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   girly_girl09posted 14 years ago

   I would say when you find yourself dreading their phone calls and having trouble returning them.
   
   This happened to me once. It's not that he called a lot (things were really starting to dwindle). But I stopped answering and it took forever for me to return his calls.
   
   I just wasn't interested in being romantically involved anymore, but I still cared about him! I just didn't know how to tell him. I still feel bad for stringing things along as long as they did, but I honestly just didn't want to hurt his feelings, because I did and do still respect him.

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      anjalichughposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I know what you mean. It happens with many people. Although there can be a number of reasons for drifting apart, the one which comes to my mind as of now is lack of mental compatibility. I did not mention emotional compatibility as that is quite common. There has to be a meeting of minds too apart from the union of two hearts and souls (as they say).

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   waynetposted 14 years ago

   When you'd rather talk to yourself and play with yourself is the usual point of a good old fashioned walk away.

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   In non-romantic relationships if you care about the other person, and they care about you, there shouldn't ever be the feeling that things are stale.  The emotionally mature person in a truly healthy friendship doesn't need excitement or other pizazz all the time.  True friends don't think about leaving just because one or both people are in a slump (individually).
   
   In a romantic relationship there's the issue of the romance wearing off (not always, but a lot of the time).   When you know the other person cares about you, and when you care about them, you don't even think about leaving.  It's the romance that makes people feel the relationship is whole; so when it dies out/down, and you're left with someone you care about but don't feel romantic toward, you can start to wonder if you're in a romantic relationship or "just a friendship".  That's the main reason it's important to take steps to keep some romance in the relationship.
   
   Having said that, I don't think people should ever leave unless/until they have absolutely no doubts.  People who have experienced the true death of a relationship will tell you that there are absolutely no doubts about the "rightness" of ending it.  That means that a lot of mediocre relationships linger on far longer than maybe they should have, but the alternative is to make a big mistake over what may not be a permanent problem.  Just an opinion.

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   adsensesecretsposted 14 years ago

   you walk away when there is nothing that keeps you there. when you have tried everything possible and have seen no results. when you dont love the person anymore and when it wont hurt you to leave.

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