I was raised Christian (Episcopal) but began to explore everything else out there in the World as I was overly curious and did not feel I was getting all the answers somehow. I enjoyed history and archaeology as it looked into where we all come from. I enjoyed the stories of mythology because I felt there had to be some "truth" hidden behind these legends and it was not just mere fiction.
I gravitated towards scientific study because that "made sense", but then I found science was lacking in answers to everything as well. There was still alot of things we either did not know or simply did not understand or could not be explained either for that matter. Something was missing or had been lost to us. Archaeology was continually re-discovering "secrets" from our past that had been sealed when the great mythical civilizations of Mu and Atlantis were lost before the "Great Deluge" of Greek Myth and the Gilgamesh Epic of the Sumerians (the world's oldest found civilation thus far), and this matched the stories I remembered of Noah from the Bible.
So I explored alternative fields of science like parapsychology, UFOlogy and that led to more of the metaphysical sciences. I knew that we were not alone in this universe and that there was so much more out there than what we could experience on our tiny little world. I became "enlightened" to a more open-minded way of thinking and that led to the supernatural aspects of "New Age" reasoning because this "spiritual science" explained what traditional science could not.
I then began to research more "eastern" ways of thinkling because the western world apparently had lost the "knowledge of the ancients" through the dark ages and the rise of modern religions. I admired the teachings and compassion of Buddah. I looked into the mysticism of Hinduism and reincarnation because I was sure that there was more to our eternal souls than what most westerners believed and taught. I studied the martial arts which opened doors to the philosophy of Confucius, Zen and the living practices of Taoism. These were more aligned with nature and therefore seemed more "natural" to the way things should be.
Coming back to the west, I loved nature and began to understand why the Druids practiced a harmony with it. I was sympathetic to our native American brothers and sisters, as their beliefs were basic and a return to this same "harmony of life" with the natural elements. Their Shamans seemed to have the ability to "see" beyond the physical world and into the spiritual realm to unlock the mysteries of life.
I was "saved" in college and reaquainted with the God of the Bible. I then met some of Jehovah's Witnesses and was refreshed to see that there was actually a newer revial in the understanding of scripture. I then lived with some Mormon people and was thrilled to find out there were some more modern ways (with documentation) of confirming the existence of Jesus Christ and His validity as being sent from God. There was now a "new" mesage being sent out to the modern world based on the beliefs of our forefathers. I was still sure however that this God had to be some kind of "greater being" that was out there and was above all these things we knew and understood. All of humanity had only found little pieces of the whole truth and there still had to be some form of "hybrid" out there, a method that brought together the sum total of all our beliefs and understanding as one under God.
I then found some Pegans and some Wiccan friends that also seemed to believe in a revival of God and they incorporated all of the natural arts I had already studied in combination with him. I knew there was "Karma" and a "Yin" and "Yang" or some equivalent, a flow of positive energy and negative energy in the cosmos which equated to translating into good and evil in our world. I understood that those who dabled in the "dark" arts were of the occult sciences and those that pursued the "light" were "gifted" with a renewed vision of living in harmony with all the natural elements. This all made good sense and explained many of the things I could not, and I DID SEE proof of both good and evil in the spiritual relam, things that our normal sciences could never begin to explain.
I then began to realize and understand that the voice of our conscious mind was in fact NOT just us talking to ourselves, but the actual influence of these forces in the invisible realm. I slowly learned how to "distinguish" between misleading thoughts and influences, and listen to the voice of reason and the pursuit of good and positive things. I learned that the "power of positive thinking" in our own minds was incredible. We could be "in charge" of our own destinies if we held steady the practice and focused on what was good and what we wanted from our lives. I became more happy, more successful in my endeavors, and had a pretty well rounded life and family. Then something happened and it all went away! Some of my senior family members had passed from this world. I became divorced after the birth of a new child, lost my regular career, and my part-time alternate business began to fail.
I then set out to re-group and make an attempt at patching it all together. I had become somewhat successful again after a few short years but had also become a "slave" to my own business. I had no real social life beyond reconnecting with my child and trying to spend more time with the family I had left. I did not have much time remaining for former friends and lost contact with many of them.
Then one day as I thought and meditated, a somewhat familiar voice from the postive side of the universe spoke to me...
He said: "I AM the Lord thy God and no others can compare to me! You have been gone too long my child and you have a purpose in this world. I want you to serve ONLY ME, and I have something I want you to do for me..." and He went on to explain a bit further. I fell to the ground in tears and was so overcome by the energy I felt, that I could not do anything else that weekend but stare in awe at the glorious sky above me.
My life and belief system have come full circle and that is the testimony that our Lord God has given for me to share with others. I cannot begin to explain it and I have learned to stop even trying to grasp what is God's will. The more I have faith in what I do not know and cannot begin to comprehend about the mind of God, the more He allows me to "see" the His wisdom and truth. It is truly amazing and a mircale in itself.
All I can say is that His word IS recorded somewhere (The Bible) and that by studying it fervently with prayer and meditation, the Word becomes "alive" and communicates to you. The less I "try" to make sense of it all, the more sense it all begins to make. You have to have faith in His Word to even grasp it, but you have to first pick it up and read it before you can even open those doors. Reject "religion" and what man attempts to teach himself. Rely on the Word of God ONLY, for therein lies the keys to all understanding.
"Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding. Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction." (Proverbs 10:12-14)
...and Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 4:16).
