Coming out of the straight closet after you're married...

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Mamelodyposted 14 years ago
http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/marie-cla … n-life/40/

Seriously some people should be shot.. I mean I have nothing against gays and lesbians but seriously why come out of the closet after you've been married with kids?? In this instant the stupid woman said she never fancied boys and yet she still married one and ruined his life for 10 years... bloody biatch she is..

Just goes to show that selfishness and greed reside in anyone whether you're gay or not..
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  brimancandyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Let me ask you this question. lets say this woman wasn't gay, and still ruined her man's life for 10 years, and left him for another man. Would you still be calling her a biatch?
  
  People get all bent out of shape when a gay person gets married and leaves their spouse for someone of the same sex, yet they don't throw eggs at the cougar who just marries because she likes to collect husbands and huge alimony checks after husband #7.
  
  People get married and seperate all the time over things a hell of a lot more serious then one of them suddenly coming out of the closet.
  It may be the last thing a spouse would consider, but it happens a lot less than the average reasons for divorce.
  
  I will mention one thing about the gay person verses the straight couple divorce. The gay person usually marries with the intent to marry someone they sincerely care about, and it is usually very hard for them to disconnect from that marriage, it is carefully thought out, and not rushed into. Which is why some gay people remain married to their spouce until the grave. They would rather die than reveal themselves, especially those who are hugely involved in their communities.
  
  I know a lot of formerly married gay men, and have also met couples Male/female who share an out of the closet lifestyle who are very happy.
  So, it depends on the situation.
  
  gay people are more like straight people than you can imagine, only we are more self aware, and less hostile to change. But, it does take time to get there. Getting over how much we are hated is the first hurdle, in a long line of acceptance.
  
  That's why there are so many married gays and lesbians.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  am sorry.. but what you going on about??
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  brimancandyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I was just trying to be informative on a subject that some people don't want to understand. Your comment about shooting someone for coming out of the closet after being married, just kind of made me sad.
  
  Just becasue someone is gay, doesn't mean that they don't want to live a normal life with wife and kids, or husband/kids. It happens all the time. A lot of times those people are very happy together.
  
  A lot of people get married and divorced for all the wrong reasons. To single out gays as those who should be shot for making a mistake, just sounded like crazy talk to me. Sorry.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I do understand that but like I said previously what is infuriating me about this woman is that she had lesbian tendencies way before she met her husband so she should have never attempted a straight relationship if she wasn't all into it..
  
  Its different if she discovered she was gay after she got married then I would agree with you.. it the fact that she was always a lesbian before is what is making say she should be shot..
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  As a young person today, I don't think you're grasping that just a few decades ago, people who might have known that they were gay/lesbian honestly believed that there would be no opportunity to live anything close to a normal life being out of the closet, so they tried to suppress it and "go straight."
  
  Of course, no one can change their fundamental orientation, but that's something we know now. Back then, people often believed it was a phase, or something they could pray their way out of (Some people still believe this today, but it's an ignorant belief, of course).
  
  Do you think all cheaters should be shot, or just those who do so with same-sex partners?
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  Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Good point brimancandy, the dissolution of a marriage is never pretty. That either husband or wife was gay in what was considered a heterosexual relationship is neither here nor there. It might have been better if the marriage never occurred but you can say that about straight couples too.
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  brimancandyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  exactly.
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  sportsguy12posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Yes, but your slightly at fault. When people get married in this day and age, leaving for spouce occurs a good amount of time. But liking more than one person is entirely different then liking another gender. This lady never liked boys but she still married one. That is different than never really liking a man but marrying him for the money and leaving him for another man.
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  A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  "Seriously some people should be shot.."
  
  Well having been shot I would say this woman doesn't deserve that, that shit hurts! But she should have grown a pair before she had kids, that was a whole lot of selfish!
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  
  That's why she should be shot.. she hurt others and she should know what it feels like to hurt someone
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  A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I hope that doesn't have to happen to everybody who hurts someone else! It could get bloody!
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  sometimes spilling blood is the only way some people will learn.. besides my AK 47 has been used in a while.. I need target practice
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  A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  AK? Jesus, I personally prefer the AR-15, not as much knock down but real reliable.
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  The reason these things happen is because of the pressure people like you, and Brenda and others here, put on gay people. Blind intolerance and self righteousness forces people to try and conform to your outdated and unpleasant idea of morals. Gay people are often in denial because they are surrounded by people like you. When they see a way out you cannot blame them for taking it.
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  sneakorocksolidposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  What do you do in your bedroom? C'mon share with us all your kinky thoughts! Make your sex life our buisness so we can live it with you!
  
  Hmmmmm.......maybe someones sex life is private and it should remain so! We don't need to live their handicap.
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  'THEY' are not handicapped THEY are just people with a different kink to you. THEY are friends of mine and I find them outgoing, creative, loving and fun to be with, and their private stuff just private.
  
  MY bedroom is something you might dream of - as you grapple with the problems of seeing your partner as the virgin Mary one minute and then want her to be Mary Magdelene the next, then go round the cycle of guilt, repentance, absolution and starting all over again.
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  sneakorocksolidposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Well I knew I have an outsie and my partner has an insie. As far as my bedroom is concerned there's more snoring than anything else. It is a handicap because they can't get through life with out some special help. Our laws and traditions aren't good enough they need they're own special laws. They can't function in this world without help. They chose they're lifestyle they should grow-up and accept it's wages.
  
  They are decent people but they lose even that by attacking and trying to ruin, yes ruin, marraige.
  
  I personally wish everyone would keep they sexual preferences private and if for no other reason, to protect the children. They're lives will be poluted with adult crap soon enough, just let them be kids. Get sexual preference out of the schools.
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  You have just described Christianity exactly, except for the sex stuff. It is not sexual preference it is gender difference, you are a boy, she is a girl and they are gay, and there are various different kinds of gay in the same way as there are different types of straight people. The human animal is complex and interesting if you just let it out of the restrictions of intolerance.
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  sneakorocksolidposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Tolerance ends where ruining what I hold as sacred begins.
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Exactly right - where what YOU hold as sacred - I thought you followed the teachings of that guy who said love your neighbour ? NOT love people who are only exactly like you.
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  Sab Ohposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  "The human animal is complex and interesting if you just let it out of the restrictions of intolerance"
  
  You might heed your own advice.
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  My only intolerance is to deliberate ignorance, and that about sums you up.
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  Sab Ohposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  The intolerant always think they are 'correct' and 'justified.' You really can't see that you are doing the same?
  
  Personal insults are unnecessary, btw.
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  A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Some things never change, do they?
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  Sab Ohposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Sadly so
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  Sab Ohposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  " Blind intolerance and self righteousness forces people to try and conform to your outdated and unpleasant idea of morals. Gay people are often in denial because they are surrounded by people like you."
  
  That must be what all those parades are about!
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Maddie Ruudposted 14 years ago
I don't think it's right, by any means, but you do have to take into account the amount of societal pressure to be straight and measure up to gender roles. I think if being gay were more accepted, such things would happen less often.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I understand that but what's annoying me with this woman is she mentions that she always liked girls in her teen years. If that was the case then why did she get married? She should have just had a lesbian relationship from the word go and at least the hurt, pain and betrayal would have been a lot less..
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  Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  she was probably in denial because of pressure from family & society to be straight. Not everyone who is gay acknowledges it to themselves, some cant until after they have attempted a "normal" life.
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  Maddie Ruudposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Exactly.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  denial my ass!!... its not strange these days for people to be gay. It would have been better for her to just live as a lesbian in secret and not marry at all..
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  Maddie Ruudposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  It's not unusual, but it's not exactly accepted. Just look at these forums. The amount of anti-gay sentiment among some of our users is enough to bowl you over.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  true.. so shouldn't that tell such people to be wise in their choices then??
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  blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I have a wonderful friend who is 24years old. He is still struggling with his sexuality, he dates women publicly and he is also with men secretly. He is an absolute hunk of a guy, muscular, extremely good looking, and because every woman throws themselves at him, he finds it extremely hard to come out with anything but with what people expect of him.Plus he has a ultra high status in this town that he is afraid would come crumbling down.
  His family is expecting him to marry and have put strong pressure on him to find the right girl and settle down.I know deep down he leans more to being gay, and that is what would make him more happier,but by dating girls he is trying to convince himself and every-one else otherwise.
  In some circumstances it is so hard for a gay person to come out with it, or even admit they are gay to themselves, so they try desperately to live a normal life hoping deep down it may work out.
  He has cried many times on my shoulder as he is torn inside figuring out what he really is.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  
  society is cruel
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  blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  It really can be Justine.
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  Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  It's sad that he can't be just who he is.
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  blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  That's right Hokey. I tell him so much that I will love him no matter who he chooses to be.
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  wow, i feel really sorry for the guy then. personally, i think he should do whatever makes him happy. besides, he's the one that has to live with himself, so he might as well embrace who he is, not care about what others think of him. that's just my opinion
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  blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Wow Steve this is spot on to what I tell him.
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  well then it sounds like your a really good friend to him then. i just hope he eventually wises up and listens to your advice. however, i know it can't be easy for him with his family pressuring him, but im sure as long as he has friends like you supporting him, he'll find a way to accept who he is.
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  Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Not everyone who is gay acknowledges it to themselves, some cant until after they have attempted a "normal" life.
  
  I understand for some gay people it is a struggle to admit the truth about themselves, just as anyone who struggles with any "unwanted" truth.
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  Marisa Wrightposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I agree with this 100%. In my life, I've known four women who married secretly gay men.
  
  Given that they're all around my age or older, they got married in an age when being gay was far less acceptable, and I can imagine those men persuading themselves they could change, and trying to conform to what society expected. I can forgive them for that.
  
  I can't forgive the fact that, once they accepted they were gay, they stayed married and cheated on their wife with other men. If I think heterosexuals who cheat are the lowest scum of pond life, why should I let gays off the hook?
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  blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Yep I agree cheating in marriage is wrong no matter whether you are straight or gay.
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  rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I agree also. and why would this bother you so much anyway?
  people live with a lot of shame and guilt because of intolerant people.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  how old is she?
  maybe she was believing something was "wrong" with her and she tried to be "normal."
  
  sure the betrayal would have been less had she been lesbain from the get go...but maybe at the time she thought it was wrong?
  
  I have personaly known people who because of family, religion, and the society they grew up in, did not feel that it was right, they tried to deny it, and live a "normal" life.
  They were not being selfish or trying to hurt the other person, they did love thier spouse, but more as a friend then a mate. As time went by they realized they were faking, and could not change, and desperately wanted to be loved, wholly. (btw this happens in heterosexual marriages too)
  
  I wouldn't want to be in thier shoes, and I certainly wouldn't judge someone for it. would you prefer she lived the rest of her life in misery, trapping her man with her, and teaching her children that you should "settle"...
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  Black Lillyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  It does not quite make sense... Ok, supposing you're gay; why get married then and ruin someone's chance of being happy with somebody else?
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  agreed
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Maddie said it best. If it wasn't for the social pressure she would have discovered her true nature long before she got married and had kids. I read the article and I think she must have felt very torn and guilty; she suffered, too, maybe more than anyone else in the situation.
  
  These things happen, they just do...
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  Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  it's a sad fact, not necessarily an outrageous one.
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  yeah, i do agree with you. although I do feel sorry for the guy in the situation, I know this can't be easy on the woman as well. it's always tough in life whenever you have to hide who you really are just to conform to what others believe you should be.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  why do people always use "social pressure" as an excuse?
  
  This woman was not forced to be gay, was not forced to marry a straight man.. she is simply a stupid woman who couldn't set her priorities straight.. PERIOD!!
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  Valerie Fposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  How about that societal pressure to be honest and avoid making promises you can't keep?
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Divorce remains legal.
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Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago
Wow.
The gay agenda has succeeded in making excuses for every wrong that homosexuals do.
Held to no accountability at all.
Similar to the liberal agenda in other issues too.
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  Maddie Ruudposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  If you're referring to me, I did not make excuses. I said I thought it wasn't right. But I offered some context as to what might have contributed, since the actual question posed by OP was "why might this have happened?"
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  You left out the accountability.
  Do you make the same excuses for straight people who cheat on their spouses or leave their spouses with the excuse of "mid-life crises" or such nonsense?
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  Maddie Ruudposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  If somebody posted a question asking, "Why might this man have left this woman?" I would answer it, to the best of my ability. That isn't making excuses, it is answering the question. Similarly, here. I answered the question. One more time: I was not making excuses, nor saying it was right.
  
  Chillax. Not everything is a liberal plot to further some agenda. Sometimes, people just have conversations.
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  StormRyderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  You can say this over and over...but they just don't get it.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  now you talking Brenda.. cheating is cheating and in this case she is guilty of not only cheating but selfishness greed and stupidity.
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  Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I'm sorry, did I hear correctly?
  
  You are calling this woman selfish, greedy and stupid for being gay?
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  thisisoliposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  no she is those things for having no interest in a man but jsut marrying him for security, and then getting shot when she saw a better opportunity.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  no she is stupid because she just used this man for 10 years to get security.. if you read the story she mentions that she's always been attracted to girls from an early age... my annoyance is that she wasted some poor bloke's life for 10 years when she knew way before she met him that she was gay..
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  TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  "'Vengeance is MINE' saith the Lord."
  
  "Judge not lest ye be judged."
  
  "Love the Lord above all others and love others AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF."
  
  It is not for you or I to hold people accountable. It is for the Lord alone.
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  Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Hold yourself accountable, and quit worrying about what others to with their life. It's actually none of your business. Mind your own home and stay out of others.
  
  Like you sad religious agenda is any better than the lying politicians.
  
  Both are useless to society and humanity's future.
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Mind my own business, eh?
  
  How very bossy of you!
  
  Kiss my elbow!
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  P.S.
  
  That wasn't an actual offer.
  
  It was me telling you basically what you can do with your propensity to think it's okay to boss me around and try to say I don't have rights to free speech, especially in view of the FACT that there is a moral right and wrong, even though today's main leaders deny it time after time.
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  mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  you've probably told us elsewhere why you are such a homophobe - but I didn't read it - why are you such a homophobe? or is that something personal and private to you? I personally think that if someone is going to disapprove so vehemently and often of someone or some kind of social relationships they might include their reasons for their opinions (or is it the bible response? if so, forget I ever asked)
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  Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I don't care what it was.
  
  I wasn't bossing you around. I was pointing out the fact that it is not your business to spread your foolish religious view to those who don't think as you and degrade them in doing it.
  
  I'm not saying that you don't have a right to free speech. I'm tell you that you don't have a right to determine what is morally wrong for everyone on the F*cking planet, as you do. Considering you have a limited understanding of what morals are in the first place.
  
  It's your view about morality that has you all screwed up and I'm simply trying to straighten out the misconception.
  
  But, then again, I'm not sure that your brain and it's mechanics are working properly, considering some of statement you've made before.
  
  I don't want to be your boss. But, one of the BIGGEST F*cking problems on Planet Earth is people like you, with sad religious view and ideology of so-called "morals", who have been doing more damn damage, then those who are 'gay' or 'lesbian'.
  
  These people just want to be left alone. Yet, you cannot leave it alone. How sad it must be for you?
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Brenda,
  
  How is it that someone who has grandchildren has only been married for 10 years?
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I've been divorced.
  He cheated on me. So just in case anyone wants to judge me, that infidelity on his part was Biblical grounds for divorce, as well as legal grounds.
  I'm now re-married.
  Am I to assume you're asking because you're trying to compare my re-marriage or other "sins" to the sin of sexual perversion?
  Have at it.
  But I will tell you this---it wasn't my choice for my ex-husband to commit adultery, it was his. Just as it's each homosexual's choice to engage in acts of perversion. And I'm not trying to live in a state of sin and have it sanctioned by others. There's a difference between sinning, even, and then being repentant and living a different lifestyle, as opposed to trying to make legal the things that should never be happening in the first place.
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I suggest reading Matthew 19:4-9 and Mark 10:2-12 Brenda.
  
  Suddenly, all of your condemnations of homosexuality make sense. It's what psychologists call "projection."
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  A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  And then we have our amateur psychologists..
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  matthew 5:31-32 "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
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  Valerie Fposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  A "marriage" in which one person promises to be faithful without intending to keep that promise isn't a marriage. It's a lie. Divorce in that case isn't the break up of a marriage, because the marriage never really fully existed.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Im just saying, if your going to quote scripture, might as well qoute all of it.
  If you want to say you cant be gay cuz the bible says so word for word, no "intentions" or all that...
  that is precisely what the bible says
  you CAN get divorced. BUT a woman MAY NOT remarry.
  I didnt say it, GOD did.
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  Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  See, now it appears as though my now-fiance and my 2nd husband are going to hell. dammitall.....
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  its all old testament..have no fear
  jesus loves you
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Nope. All the condemnations of divorce are in the new testament, which is why Christians pretend to be against divorce while Jews don't.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  really?
  oh...sorry...got my facts wrong
  were all going to hell
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  See you there! We'll throw a party!
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  hahhahaha.
  Im honored.
  o man, does that make me the devil?
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  Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Well it looks like you are going to LIVELONGER than the rest of us (nudge, nudge...get it?)....so please pick up more on the way and more toilet paper please.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I want nachos, please
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Fine, you bring Brenda, I'll bring the TP. And Justine's nachos.
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  Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Alright, Brenda, the bus goin' downtown is leavin'
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Glad to see that you seem to have perked up a bit today
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  yessssss nachos!!!
  I "heart" you
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  wait a second
  the guy who cheated gets a divorce, legaly and all
  the woman who gets remarried, and her new man are doomed..
  what about the cheater?
  this seems very unfair...
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  TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Wow..screwdrivers in the other thread...beer party over here. Awesome!
  
  I'll tell you a secret: We are all really going to hell...but only 'cuz "hell" really means "the grave." Hehe...I always thought that was kinda funny.
  
  *mixes screwdrivers for anyone who wants them*
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  hell=hades
  I know
  you got this one life
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  TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  *Raises her beer* One Life!
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  and nachos and liquor and bud
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  TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  NOW it's a party! *dances*
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  china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  not this downtrodden man thing - he has to go cook dinner and wash up and stuff and *sigh*
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I'm a sinner, but a saved one.
  Repentance is a key word.
  But I doubt it's one you'd understand.
  You're stuck in the false idea that desire is the same as lust.
  It isn't.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  nope. Im not
  
  Im just saying its not fair to say this and that person is sinnning cuz the bible said so and skip other bible parts.
  
  if you read thru (wich honestly..I dont always do that and end up sorry...I say things I shouldnt have) Im pretty sure I said all cheating is wrong
  
  glad your saved
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Oh, I don't think so.
  
  I think she is well aware of "the rules". She's just applying some sophistry to comfort herself. Divorce is a condemnable sin very clearly described 5 times in the Bible.
  
  You might want to bring some extra nachos for her.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I do love nachos
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I have to admit, I just looked up sophistry
  not quite sure how to take that?
  
  I guess I ought to go take a nap or something. Its funny how relgiousness can get under your skin like that
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Yes, sophistry meaning playing with words to make it sound like you're making a credible argument when you're not.
  
  Brenda harps on homosexuality because she knows (from Matthew 5: 31-32, Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18 and Romans 7:2-3) that she's living a life of unrepentant sin herself. She may publicly say that she's done this or that to be saved, but deep down she knows the truth.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  didn't know if you meant me...too many nachos, not enough sleep
  
  I grew up in tehe most sophistric home ever
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  out of curiousity, why would you assume I dont know what repentance is?
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skyfireposted 14 years ago
I read this story as "mistake of being conservative", isn't it ?
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Colebabieposted 14 years ago
It is denial. When you are worried about what other people think, what you may be sacrificing, you usually deny the truth.
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TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years ago
I just love it when so-called Christians who ought to know better than to judge (since they're guilty of all sorts of things that are ALSO abominations in the eyes of the Lord) get in public places and start talking crap about how other people need to be held accountable for their mistakes. The tables turn though when other people demand that those same Christians be held accountable for the perpetuation of churches and institutions that preach heresy, teach fear, and encourage hatred.

We are all going to be held accountable for our mistakes, and no one on this planet needs to be wasting their time, energy, breath, or typing on making judgments against this one because he's gay or that one because she was pressured into not being herself.

We all, especially so-called Christians, really need to be spending that time learning how to LOVE ONE ANOTHER--the number one commandment, BTW--in spite of all our flaws, imperfections, and life choices.

I feel sorry for everyone concerned in the OPs question. I can't imagine what it would be like to be pressured into complete repression of such an important aspect of one's personhood as their sexuality, or what it would be like to build a family with someone for ten years then find out they're gay. But I would try to love and forgive--no matter which side I was on.

For those of you who seem to think that being gay has become accepted, why don't you Google hate crimes against gay people? It might open your eyes.
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  i couldn't have said it better myself. you make a great point gs. it's like jesus christ himself once said, "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  errm I do not recall writing about Christians so why are you attacking Christians in here? this is regarding common sense and how some people are just plain stupid.. Christians or no Christians everybody is guilty of one thing or another.
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  Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I do not consider being in denial to be stupid. A person goes into denial due to outside factors, NOT because they aren't capable of obtaining knowledge.
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  TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Perhaps it didn't occur to you that I wasn't talking to you or about you, but speaking to certain others who often make a big deal of their so-called Christianity and then jump into threads like this to make judgments against people they don't know.
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Yes, absolutely Glass Spider. I'm going to look you up. You said it so well, and Stevennix, about casting the first stone, about learning to love each other, about showing Christian charity to ALL. Gays, too!
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  TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Thanks, Paradise. I just think we spend so much time blaming people for their mistakes when we could be focusing on how to love and find better solutions for everyone on the world.
  
  You might end up being disappointed with my Hubs, though...I'm still not sure where I want to go with those (and I'm still learning how to make money)...so it's kind of some journaling with a bit of craft for humor (or at least sarcasm) thrown in. I've got a ton of opinionated forum posts though!
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Greek Oneposted 14 years ago
I blame her husband for not meeting her needs
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  yeah, but if your partner is gay, then how the heck are you supposed to fill in her needs? haven't you heard of the term its harder to convert a gay person to be straight than it is to convert a straight person to be gay.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  he should have acted more like a woman...
  
  you know... nag, complain, and make her take out the garbage when she was trying to write some Hubs
  
  (J U S T J O K I N G)
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  that's true, or maybe he should've asked her if she wanted to do a manage a trois aka a threesome with another girl. this way, they both win. she could have sex with a girl and her husband at the same time, to satisfy her urges without the guilt. plus, he'd win since he would get to be with two hot girls. everyone wins in that scenario.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I have long said that a threesome solves most problems
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  damn straight it does.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  now that would solve this problem 100%!!
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Ok, Greek One, WTF????? If you thought that was funny, I wonder if you're MARRIED. Then you might think something like that, and chuckle to yourself, but NEVER SAY IT!!!!!!
  
  Hahahahaha, you bad boy!
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  happily married... but my beautiful wife isn't on Hubpages
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  am I your fan yet, again?
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  i dont really have fans...
  
  I just log in as different people and join my fanclub...
  
  just like in High School, when i used to have pretend Prom nights in my parent's basement, and dress up the couch pillows in my sister's skirts
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! OK, so I checked and now Im back ot being your fan. your killing me!!!!!!
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  do you mind if I call you Ms. Ottoman?
  
  She was my fav
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  call me what you want, but who? is ms ottoman?
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Ms Ottoman was the name of the peice of furnature that gave me the most pleasure back in the day (as opposed to Ms. Bookcase, who was tough as wood)
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  oh, ...hmm...can I be ms showerhead?
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  nah.. she ran hot and cold
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  hahahaah...Im all hot
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  at my age, staying under the water too long will only make me wrinkley and cause the few hairs i have left to fall out
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  
  ok. Ill be an ottoman. but I want to be a comfy one.
  By the looks of your avitar, you could use some pigeons around too.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  that, my dear, is a bust of Homer..
  
  the greatest writer of his day
  
  (of course, back then, there were only 3 writers.. but still)
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  yes, still...I want to be ms comfy ottoman. I do know who homer is. and I dont mean Simpson...
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  it is upsetting to me that you have a higher hubscore than me by a single point...
  
  is that natural?
  
  I feel so inferior
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  it will go down soon. I just published a hub. have no fear, you are greater then me!
  
  this is toatlly hijacking? sorry mame...
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  yeah, sorry...
  
  lets get back to bashing homosexuals and/or Christians
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  oh yeah, I forgot it was bashing...nevermind....
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thisisoliposted 14 years ago
I was in the unfortuante position once of having a girl go out with me for teh wrong reasons. It turned out that she only stayed with me because I treated her well, but she had no feelings for me. She was having that conversation with another guy she was chatting up for a bit on the side, who turned out to be a distant friend of mine (Thank god for facebook, or he wouldn't have known).

Needless to say I feel for the guy in that article.
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  wow, i'm sorry to hear that man.
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Greek Oneposted 14 years ago
I think the problem lies not so much in the fact that the woman was gay.. rather it is a common issue with ALL women...

why do women insist on using men for our precious bodily fluids (both recreation and procreation), and then after they are done, throw us to the curb?
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  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  yeah, but to be fair, guys do that too. in fact, i used to work with a guy that was a player who used women all the time, and he even had a girl friend too, who had no idea he was always cheating on her. therefore, you could say that about both sexes.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  i would consider you former colleague more of a "gynecological hobbyist"...
  
  player sounds so dirty
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  So does "gynecological hobbyist"...GFY
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Is Amateur Vagalogist better?
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Okay, okay, enough already, friend! You are a GAS!
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Rafiniposted 14 years ago
I still believe she was in denial. She did not respect her own gay tendencies.

No matter what, no self-respecting person will marry another only for security when in fact they would rather be with someone of the same sex as themselves.
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Yeah, true. But as a woman I understand where she was 10 years ago, when she was in her very early twenties. It takes some time to develop the maturity to know yourself well and be secure inside of yourself.
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  Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I agree. Sounds like it fits with denial.
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mega1posted 14 years ago
I have a gay friend I would gladly marry - even if we never had sex - I just would love to be his partner, but I know he wouldn't feel right about it, even if he were so inclined. But I bet there are plenty of marriages out there where one or the other partner is gay (or both) and they know about it and are cool with it and just want to maintain this social image of a totally straight couple! There are all kinds of love! as the song says
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  Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  That's pretty interesting, Mega. I have a gay couple that are really dear friends of mine (gay men). We all love the theatre, so MUCH! And I never had that in common with a straight man.
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livelongerposted 14 years ago
Agreed, and I'm gay.

Cheating is cheating. I don't think you'll find a soul alive that condones cheating only when it involves a closeted gay person.
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Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago
Funny how the same people who are against gays marrying but saying they already have the right to marry someone of the opposite sex are against this too. I guess they just want gays to be miserable and celibate for the rest of their lives.

Humans are not perfect, sometimes they cheat. But there is a lot of pressure to remain straight and sometimes people come to the conclusion that they were never meant to be married.

I'm not excusing cheating, it would be better if the person told their spouse before they acted on it.
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Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago
So...are gay people supposed to lock themselves away from society and stop living?

Gay people do not choose to be gay no matter how much you want to believe otherwise.

Why don't you worry about your own soul instead of others?
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Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago
Tried to edit my reply and it didn't take.

Gay people go not choose to be gay despite what you want to believe.

Why don't you worry about your own soul instead of someone else's.
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  A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Uhhhhhhh, it seems that a lot of people are worried about other people, including you.
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Paradise7posted 14 years ago
I wonder why that person posted her issue on the Internet in the first place? Was it an act of atonement towards her husband, whom she really still liked a lot? Or was she trying to say, be true to your own self even if it hurts other people at the time--in the long run it's still better all around.
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Stimpposted 14 years ago
And, there you are....Next topic, please....anyone, anyone at all....?
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  me me me me !!!
  what was the question?
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  Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Well, let me give it to you in 25 words or less. Lesbian, marries a dude, has kids, 10 years later "oops, I'm gay and I'm leaving". Some here are ginormously anti-HER, while others are not so much....and then it ended with one person insulting another's intelligence. Wait that's more than 25 words. So, I felt we should move on.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  man, I didnt write the bible.
  cheating is cheating
  but is sooo lame to say gay is wrong cuz the bible says so, but conviently ignore all the rest that the bible says is wrong.
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  Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I know.....double standards are always lame.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I can look at porn but you have to wash the dishes..
  oops, did I realy just type that on a religious thread?
  no wait, it says at the top gender and relationships...phew..
  dont want to to go to hell or anything
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  Stimpposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Oh come on....join us, will ya. We brought beer.
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  YESSSSSSSS
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Stimpposted 14 years ago
Justine...did we just shut this forum down? That seems to happen to me alot.
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Greek Oneposted 14 years ago
Are not naughty thoughts also a sin?
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  not naughty not sin...but boring
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  If you don't recognize them and put a stop to them.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  so just having them isn’t a sin per say?
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
  depends on who you ask
  my mom would say yes, its a sin.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  mental note to self.. don't date Justine's mom
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  Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Every human has them.
  There's a Scripture in the Bible that explains this.
  Would you like to hear it?
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  sure.. thank you.. i love learning!
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  James 1: 12 says
  "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation, for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him."
  
  Every man and woman is gonna be tempted and tried.
  Verse 14 says that.
  
  James 1: 15 says
  "Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."
  
  So, we think a sinful thing, then if we "give birth" to that idea (dwell on it so that it becomes a possibility, decide that we're gonna continue with the idea), and then we act upon the idea ("finish it", commit actual sin), then that leads to spiritual death.
  
  We have a measure of self-control that God expects us to use.
  That stops us from actually committing a sin worthy of spiritual death.
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  But if we do act upon that lust, there's always forgiveness IF we're truly repentant.
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  Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  to clarify, when exactly hath lust "concieved" in the process?
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Mamelody is gettin' crabby with us 'cause we're hijacking her thread she thinks!
  And even though anybody has a right to discuss whatever they like in whatever thread they like, I'm gonna exit this one for now. ha.
  So maybe you'd like to discuss it in another thread or something?
  Anyhoo, I'll be back another time. I usually check the Christian Discussion thread or you're free to make another thread or whatever. Maybe title it SIN---that'a a huge eye-catcher! Or not, whatever you like. Anyway, thanks for asking. I like it when people are eager to discuss without immediately accusing me of crap, so thanks for that.
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  Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  am not getting crabby and I don't mind anyone hijacking my thread.. what i cant stand is religious people, such as yourself, who are always trying to shove it down our throats that you are the know it alls and people should live by your rules.. I do believe God has given us Free will and since that's the case we are all entitled to choose what we want and not let some religious nut try to stuff it in our throats that this is the way to live.. especially when it comes to the topic of homosexuality.
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  "Repenting" but continuing the sin is attrition. Of course, I'm not telling you something you don't already know, right?
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  By staying in an adulterous marriage, you continue to repeat the same sin over and over again.
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Like I said, I won't go into the full description of the process of shame, repentance, and sanctification of how God worked things out for me and in my marriage, because you wouldn't "get it".
  Just like you refuse to admit that homosexuality is simply a sin no matter how much people try to make it clean.
  God will not "make clean" the sin of homosexuality.
  He WILL, however, make the homosexual clean if that person is willing to repent and turn from their ways.
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  When are you going to turn from your adulterous ways? (By leaving the sham of a marriage that is not consecrated by the Bible?)
  
  I'm assuming Jesus is your savior, and not King Henry VIII.
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Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago
When are you going to turn to the Lord?
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  A question you, no doubt, ask yourself every day.
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Mamelodyposted 14 years ago
Okay people settle down!!

I think you're all missing the point.. this is not a religious discussion, neither is it condemning any gay person.. the story is centered around a woman who has always been gay and yet chose to ruin one man's life for 10 years and when she was done with him, dumped him in the bin..

The focus should be on why this woman chose to get married even though she was 100% gay.. yes excuses such as social pressure, denial and struggling to accept and convince people to accept them are part of that so lets center around that and not start talking about religion and what not..

I hate religion big time and I don't give a monkey's what religion says.. Whether you're gay straight, pink yellow blue red we're all human beings and we're all sinners. Nobody is perfect so all you religious nuts get that in your thick skulls and lets focus on the matter at hand!!!!
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Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago
Whatever you say.
But it sure does sound awfully crabby to me!
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Greek Oneposted 14 years ago
this has given me an idea for my very first Hub topic!!

thank you all!
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  Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  Glad to be of service I suppose.
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Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago
I guess that lets the person in the original post off the hook!
You think it's okay for everyone to choose to do whatever they want. So it was okay for the person to have a straight relationship, thereby hurting her spouse, while keeping her homosexuality a secret, right?
Then what the heck were you griping about in the first place?
It's a free-for-all and nothing is wrong. No fear. Do anything you want. There are no repurcussions for anything.
Kinda like Sodom and Gomorrah....
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  From the mouth of a professional...
  
  Tell us, Brenda, what does happen to the unrepentant sinner, the person who, say, stays in an adulterous marriage in contravention of the Bible's teachings?
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Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago
That post of mine was to Mamelody.
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Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago
livelonger,
I guess that will have to wait til Greek One posts the new thread.
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  livelongerposted 14 years agoin reply to this
  I suppose avoidance and feigned ignorance work for many people. It doesn't spare them their fate, though, right?
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CaryBoyposted 14 years ago
I don't believe this is a straight or gay/lesbian issue...maybe it's just lack of character or integrity.

I have a little proverb I hold a lot of faith in:

Making mistakes defines humanity.
The resolution of those mistakes defines integrity.
reply report

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