Rude Questions about the number of children you have
88- Merriweather
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At the drugstore the other day an older woman was talking to my year-old son while he sat patiently in the cart (and he needed a distraction, so that was fine with me). My other three children wandered up and this woman said to me, "My land! How many are there?" as if I had a litter of ferrets with me. I was astonished, but managed to say, "Four."
Four children really isn't a lot, but I'm weary of hearing, "Are they all yours?" and "You have your hands full." No kidding. They're all mine and all wanted and the world needs my children.
What's the best way to handle these rude questions? I just smile, but I don't always feel like it.
87- Pacal Votan
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Merriweather wrote:
At the drugstore the other day an older woman was talking to my year-old son while he sat patiently in the cart (and he needed a distraction, so that was fine with me). My other three children wandered up and this woman said to me, "My land! How many are there?" as if I had a litter of ferrets with me. I was astonished, but managed to say, "Four."
Four children really isn't a lot, but I'm weary of hearing, "Are they all yours?" and "You have your hands full." No kidding. They're all mine and all wanted and the world needs my children.
What's the best way to handle these rude questions? I just smile, but I don't always feel like it.Of course, you could retort if you wanted, but I wouldn't bother. Just be proud of your wonderful children.
97- thranax
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I wouldn't take it seriously, its just the way people talk nowadays. There isn't a single type of person I have never been asked a rude question before. It seems like its just the way were becoming as a culture. Just answer them if the question can be answered and you understand what they asked, if its really rude say something like "thats not fair to them" or something similar and correcting the person.
~thranax~- 88
- Merriweather
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I am proud of all of them. Thanks for reminding me of that!
- 88
- Merriweather
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thranax wrote:
I wouldn't take it seriously, its just the way people talk nowadays. There isn't a single type of person I have never been asked a rude question before. It seems like its just the way were becoming as a culture. Just answer them if the question can be answered and you understand what they asked, if its really rude say something like "thats not fair to them" or something similar and correcting the person.
~thranax~You are so right about a lack of manners these days. I guess I thought this older woman would have been from an era where larger families were more common and therefore would have been a little more sensitive.
94- rebekahELLE
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Merriweather wrote:
I am proud of all of them. Thanks for reminding me of that!
I would just say, 'yes, I'm so fortunate!' and leave her to ponder her intrusion.
I find it extremely rude when people say, 'you have your hands full.' I used to get than one at times when my two sons were younger. I would just smile and say, 'yes, they're healthy boys.'
82- tksensei
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Doesn't sound rude to me. Larger families just aren't as common nowadays. Be proud of the recognition.
You smile and say, I left all the rest of them home with their dad!
This is my suggestion for a possible reply:
"We are blessed with four wonderful children and we have supported them all. How about you? Were you also blessed?"
This is a possible response to a rude question, if it was really indeed rude. It depends upon you to determine it.
I know a lot of families who have even 5 to 10 kids. However, all their children are very much well provided. I admire you for being proud of your kids.
Have a great week!I remember someone being really rude in Germany seeing all the American children coming out for school; we were in apts and each stairwell opened to 6 apartments, there were 16 children in ours of school age. The German women were talking about what animals Americans are for having so many children, don't know why it didn't occur to them that some of us had learned the language! Or perhaps they just didn't care.
The question of 'are they all yours' isn't so strange since many people babysit or take friends along. I love looking at kids of large families and seeing how they look alike or not. Though four kids isn't a lot.
95- Mrvoodoo
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As long as you and/or your partner are able to take care of and provide for your children then it's nobodies business but your own.
In England there are types of families that pop out child after child and expect the tax payers to provide accommodation and finances for them, under these circumstances I believe it does then become the business of others.
94- Helen Cater
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I would say I have another eight at home...PROBLEM?
89- EmpressFelicity
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TMinut wrote:
I remember someone being really rude in Germany seeing all the American children coming out for school; we were in apts and each stairwell opened to 6 apartments, there were 16 children in ours of school age. The German women were talking about what animals Americans are for having so many children, don't know why it didn't occur to them that some of us had learned the language! Or perhaps they just didn't care.
They're just jealous 'cos of their low birth rate:
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0934668.html
95- Crazdwriter
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I would have been a real smart arse and if she ahd said that 'you have our hands full' would have told her 'oh no...I'm fine..it's the kids that have a handful with me as their mother." and walked away with an evil grin on my face.
Having five children, I get those questions alot. They don't bother me, it really doesn't matter what other people think.
As to the 'are they all your' question, many times I have had to say 'no,' as I have been babysitting or had the neighbor kid with me (who looks like he could be mine). It is really fun to watch them sort through the kids, trying to decide which one doesn't belong to me.
The question I am flabbergasted by is after commenting on how well behaved my children are, they ask, 'So how do you do it? Do you live with family?' As though parents need lots of assistance to raise well behaved,happy children.
94- 2patricias
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Back in the days when I had no children I remember feeling very envious when I saw somebody with 4.
Actually, I still feel a little envious.
I think the best thing to do is just smile benignly and say Yes.
Of course, on a day when I'm feeling wicked I might be included to fake a look of shock/horror and say something like, OH MY GOD, where did all these kids come from???- 88
- Merriweather
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2patricias wrote:
Back in the days when I had no children I remember feeling very envious when I saw somebody with 4.
Actually, I still feel a little envious.
I think the best thing to do is just smile benignly and say Yes.
Of course, on a day when I'm feeling wicked I might be included to fake a look of shock/horror and say something like, OH MY GOD, where did all these kids come from???Funny -- I'd love to say (and sometimes think) "I've never seen these children before in my life!"
- 88
- Merriweather
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TMinut wrote:
I remember someone being really rude in Germany seeing all the American children coming out for school; we were in apts and each stairwell opened to 6 apartments, there were 16 children in ours of school age. The German women were talking about what animals Americans are for having so many children, don't know why it didn't occur to them that some of us had learned the language! Or perhaps they just didn't care.
The question of 'are they all yours' isn't so strange since many people babysit or take friends along. I love looking at kids of large families and seeing how they look alike or not. Though four kids isn't a lot.Yes, I get that "can't you people (just who "you people" are is beyond me -- humans?) -- control yourselves?" vibe from some. Oh, well, I should just get over it, I guess!
85- Justine76
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Merriweather wrote:
At the drugstore the other day an older woman was talking to my year-old son while he sat patiently in the cart (and he needed a distraction, so that was fine with me). My other three children wandered up and this woman said to me, "My land! How many are there?" as if I had a litter of ferrets with me. I was astonished, but managed to say, "Four."
Four children really isn't a lot, but I'm weary of hearing, "Are they all yours?" and "You have your hands full." No kidding. They're all mine and all wanted and the world needs my children.
What's the best way to handle these rude questions? I just smile, but I don't always feel like it.I have 3 girls. Happens to me too. Once this old guy followed me thru a parking lot, saying..whats wrong with you? couldnt you have a boy? wh did you give up? at the time they were 4, 1, and 6 months...then he said..your whats wrong with the world. we dont need anymore women, its a sign of the end of times!!!!!
- 88
- Merriweather
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Yes, the "How do you do it" kills me. I usually reply by telling whomever that there are places in my house where nobody can even walk, and that I'm held together with smoke, mirrors, and foundation garments.
