Disturbing Email

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   Deborah Sextonposted 12 years ago

   I received one of the most disturbing emails ever.
   This person felt they have the right to say these things, so I feel I have a right to expose them.
   
   A person went on one of my hubs and in comments told me they had some questions, and asked how they could contact me. I told that person
   they could go through hubpages. I don’t know if it is the same person who sent this email, but probably is. I intend to find out. I have already reported it to HP
   
   Here’s the email with some harsher words edited.
   
   ________________________________________
   
   
   Chef Cocksure (jj_gittes@yahoo.com)
   has sent you this message.
   (email address not verified)
   
   
   Hey sexton Debora if that is your real name yuou minx. I bet you're a sweaty slut in real life all fat and disgusting. But here's the ting,
   
   I like a dirty bird. I hope your a fat btich that buffalo bill would want to slaughter and wear as a loose fitting flesh dress. I hope ou have lots of
   p—— hair and a fuzzy b--- h— that i can sodomize asn you put yoru thumb in my a—. but not in a gay way because that would be gay. yea, i want your funky p—— on my c— and sweat and c— and blood and s—.
   
   so, i belive that this describes you and your fake life and your fake internet existance. just as i've just had a fun (maybe fake) time calling ou you out you fake bitch. deborah sexton. how did you come up with that name? was barabara mouthfullofc---#1 already taken ?

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      moonlakeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      How awful is that? Sorry you got this terrible message.

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      IntimatEvolutionposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Gross.

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      lorlie6posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I don't mean to frighten you, Deborah, but is it possible that you know this person in 'real' life?  An enemy, a discarded man from your past, perhaps?  That message would scare the sh*t out of me-honestly.  There's some excellent advice on this thread, you're doing what's necessary, but do consider contacting your local police.
      Dang, I scared myself! 

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         Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         ****************************
         
         I've only dated one man and I married him when I was 18.
         
         It freaked me out too. I felt stunned, and still do a little bit.
         I don't have any open enemies, and my friends wouldn't do that.
         
         .

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            lorlie6posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            That's a relief.  On the other hand, Internet predators can be just as creepy and dangerous, like this guy (I assume it's a male).  I'm thinking of a case of a girl who committed suicide over things posted on the Internet a few years ago; but she was very young and I suppose gullible/too sensitive to what was said.  I'm sure it's happened much more frequently-to some, this cyberworld is the only world.  Sad.

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               Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               _______________________
               
               I feel bad for that girl. As you know, I have tougher skin than to let it get to me.
               
               My Husband wants me to rest for a while from Hubpage's forums. He's just very protective.

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                  IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Your husband is wise.
                  You're not as tough as you think you are.
                  But really, honestly, put this behind you, where it belongs.
                  You are so much better then those who try to put you down, and don't you forget it!

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   mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years ago

   Very freaky, but you did the right thing reporting it and not responding. Maybe this person does this to a load of people and just edits the names accordingly.

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   mary615posted 12 years ago

   That is SO shocking.  You didn't say, but I sure hope that was not a Hubber who emailed you that trash.  Tell me it was an "outsider".

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      Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      *************
      
      I'm not sure, but I think you have to be a member of HP to email the hubbers.
      
      It is shocking. More so because of the comment about the blood and slaughtering me.
      
      Even if he was doing it for fun, what kind of mind thinks this is fun.
      Thank you for commenting

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         mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         No you don't need to be a member of HP to email Hubbers. I get emailed all the time via the 'contact' envelope icon below my profile image, and frequently these are normal emails from non-hubbers.

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   Shanna11posted 12 years ago

   That is absolutely disgusting and vile and it infuriates me that people think they can be so absolutely filthy just because it's possible to be anonymous on the internet. What drives people to such depths of depravity?! I'm sorry you got such an awful e-mail. =/

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   The Writers Dogposted 12 years ago

   That is just sick. If you have the pervert's email address, you should also be able to report it to their email provider as abuse.

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   Alastar Packerposted 12 years ago

   Deborah that e-mail can be considered a physical threat. This person is not only mentally perverted but very stupid.

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   LuisEGonzalezposted 12 years ago

   Sorry to hear this as it is quite disgusting. It is great that you notified staff and should probably notify the FBI as this type of verbal abuse crosses the line and can often be prosecuted.

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      Dorsiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I totally agree. This person way crossed the line.

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   JKennyposted 12 years ago

   I'm really sorry, you got such an awful message. This person is a vile, disgusting pervert. I agree with Alastar and Luis; that email counts as a physical threat. You should report it to the authorities as soon as possible.

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   Jakebrapposted 12 years ago

   That's horrible man hope he leaves you alone.

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    lovemychrisposted 12 years ago

    I've had a few encounters with people like this. Accused me of bringing my grandsons to a prison to "diddle" an inmate.
    
    Spiritual warfare Deborah.

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    that's too bad...guess getting obscene emails now is similar to how folks would get obscene phone calls...most times the numbers were selected randomly...but it can still be disturbing

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    jenuboukaposted 12 years ago

    That is awful and vile!  Who in the world would do that?  I have gotten some "hate" mail but nothing so disgusting as that! It was from a unverified emailer as well.  I just went ahead and used his address for all my spam mail....Killed two birds with one stone.

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    markbennisposted 12 years ago

    That’s just absolutely one hundred percent sick and twisted!  What sort of person would even contemplate doing that, even saying things like that?
    
    You definitely done the right thing reporting that to HP, I am sure they can find out as everything on the internet is recorded somewhere?  Our thoughts are with you Deborah and I hope for a speedy solution to this, all the best, Mark.

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    VendettaVixenposted 12 years ago

    My God. That's sick. I'm sorry this freak's bothering you, Deborah.
    
    If I had to guess, I'd say that it's almost definitely not personal. As twisted as it seems to normal humans, some people get a kick out of sending these messages to others and imagining their reactions. The nutjob's possibly keeping an eye on this topic, watching everyone's angry comments come flowing in.
    
    You did the right thing reporting it to the HP staff, and I agree with the others - you should get the athorities involved in this.
    
    Best of luck.

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       Jean Bakulaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Deborah,
       A person who isn't a hubpages member can contact you through HP. I have someone who keeps asking me questions and am not happy they have my email address now. But it's not a vile person saying things like the mail you got. That's really sick. I'm glad you reported them.

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          mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          They only get your email address if you actually reply to them Jean. Otherwise they are simply filling in a form on HP and it arrives in your inbox. If you choose not to answer it, or use a different email address to reply from, they still won't have your actual email address.

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             Jean Bakulaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Thanks Misty. In this case it was a person asking an Astrology question, and I write often on the topic. So I assumed she was a member. But then she began emailing me everyday, several times a day. I still think we should only get mail from members of HP. I should have checked, but her first question was a legitimate one, and I had no reason to think she would be stalking me every day.

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    kccampposted 12 years ago

    Thats a very sick and twisted email to get.
    I've just only joined recently and still learning my way around this site. I hope they have a setting or something under my profile or account for setting privacy.
    I find this very disturbing!

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       mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, you can change your privacy settings so your readers have no option to contact you via a message at all etc. You can also adjust your comment box preferences either completely, or on a hub by hub basis (latter if you edit the comments capsule when in edit mode on the entire hub).

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    blake4dposted 12 years ago

    Deborah, I am so sorry to see this kind of thing going on. But my point here is I am always a bit of a search and destroy kind of investigator for friends who have these situations...I did a little private eyeing and this is the little info I could come up with you.
    
    There are several blogspot blogs reviewing crime and private eye movies using the name Cocksure, or Chef cocksure. Do a general Google search and you will find them. But the email is a little more telling....
    
    The yahoo email address is a name of a character from the movie Chinatown.
    
    To quote Roger Ebert, " At its plots center ( ie Chinatown ), of course, is the private eye himself: J.J. Gittes, moderately prosperous as a result of adultery investigations. "
    
    The JJG name is the pseudonym your cyberstalker is probably using all over the web. My guess is that the Chinatown identification is probably because of his family backgrond, not to sound racist. But he fancies himself a good guy stalking adulterous women ( ie strong capable women like yourself ) . Thats all I can tell you.
    
    Personally, I would not take something like this lightly, I would report it to the Hub Pages staff, contact your ISP, Yahoo, and every other connection point that this thing might be coming from. It maybe nothing, but I think you are right, the email has a lot of disturbing things. Do not mean to cause alarm, but I have some experience in this area. Don't take that from anyone. Keep on Hubbing. Blake4d

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       donotfearposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Deleted
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          blake4dposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Such information can be sensitive, I am sending you my opinion directly in a message via Hub Pages. Hope it helps

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             donotfearposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Thank you.....

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    donotfearposted 12 years ago

    Deborah, you are right to be afraid and cautious.  That is a direct threat, as far as I'm concerned.  Some people will stop at nothing to hurt others....I know, it happened to me and I lost a job I love because of it. 
    
    Keep us posted on the outcome, if there is any.

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    Wesman Todd Shawposted 12 years ago

    It's not shocking - there's people all over the place that act like that, and it's because they feel safely insulated in their homes typing on a computer.
    
    Yes, I've been quite a prick before - I know.  No, I've never sent anyone anything remotely similar.
    
    Report it to staff - HP doesn't tolerate this stuff, it's a done deal already if you've  reported it.  That person is gone.

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    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    Dear Deborah,
    I empathize with the utter violation you feel.
    The sickness of the message is one level of violation, made worse by receiving such hateful mail in your personal emailbox.
    Gives me the skeebies.
    I can't add any practical ideas beyond what others have already suggested.
    Somehow, simply blocking his email address seems woefully inadequate.
    Yours,
    MM
    P.S. This is one of the reasons I don't use my name on HP.

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       donotfearposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I second that, MM!

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    Deborah Sextonposted 12 years ago

    I just want to thank everyone for commenting and giving such good advice.
    Since this email I feel stunned. I didn't realize anyone thought this way about me.
    
    I don't feel it is a joke or something he sent to anyone else.
    He is hinting around that he would like to kill me.
    
    Someone commented on one of my hubs and wanted my email because he had questions.
    This person is a new member of hubpages. I told him to write me through hubpages.
    
    A few hours later I got the above email, but I haven't heard from the one who asked to email me.
    
    I think the two are the same person. I have his/her IP address.
    
    The one that asked for my email is Determined2010.
    Determined2010 is the name of a movie about a girl who was brutally assaulted.
    
    I don't know if it means anything.
    
    Thank you Blake (Blake4D) for the information. It was very kind of you to search for information.

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       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Honestly just report it, forget it and move on.
       
       The world is full of sickos and immature teens posting stuff like because they get a kick out of it.
       
       It's not personal, you don't know them, they don't know you, just forget it. I know the words were horrible, but easily forgotten, just like the writer.
       
       There is nothing in that email to even suggest they know who you are or where you live or anything personal, so honestly I would completely ignore it (but keep a copy just in case there is ever a follow-up from the same IP).
       
       Online harassers can turn into stalkers, but only if you give them ammunition.

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          Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          *************************
          
          I didn't say the person knows me or my name and location. But those things are easy to find out.
          I would rather be careful than sorry.

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       Bills Placeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I agree with Izzy, I understand it upset you, but reporting it was a good thing and I would just put it behind me. It sounds like somebody just wanted to freak you out.
       
       I don't know if anyone here remembers when Yahoo Chat rooms was a popular thing about 8 years ago (when they allowed users to create their own chat rooms). There was always somebody coming in picking on people for no reason. There was a few times I got fed up with with it (and reporting it was pointless with Yahoo). So when a guy would come in and start picking on young teens (mind you I was 15-16 back then) I would send them an instant message and start up a simple convosation. Then I would start saying random stuff to freak them out.
       
       Usually what I said to them got worse than the email you received, to keep it short one scene included making a porch swing out of their torso, hung up by their intestines... 9 out of 10 times this caused them to leave the chat room. I never meant any of the stuff I said, I just did it because I didn't like bullies.
       
       But again as Izzy states, keep a copy of the IP just in case it ever comes up again in the future. If it does come up again I would report it to the police (or FBI) and give them the IP address because they can track down their address by the IP address.

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    KeithTaxposted 12 years ago

    The internet does give sicko's a lot of courage spouting filth. It is difficult getting over such a violation. You're a great writer. Don't let one, or even a few, jerks mess up your day.

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    Bill Yovinoposted 12 years ago

    Sorry to hear about this. A female hubber here (don't remember her name) has a couple of hubs about this kind of thing. She suggests that women don't use their real name, don't post their photo, and don't list their location.  It's terrible that we have to worry about such things, but it's good advice I think.

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    Melindas Mindposted 12 years ago

    While this person is obviously a jerk, it's more likely he's the type to get off on humiliation. The best thing to do with these guys is to ignore them, and refuse to play into their game. What he was hoping for was a scathing reply, or something else embarrassing. In my years spent surfing the net, I've had PM's like this a few times, and I've found by ignoring them these people eventually stopped trying.
    
    Either that, or he's a troll, and enjoys making people angry or alarming them. That best way to deal with trolls is also to ignore them.
    
    I am very sorry this happened to you, though. I remember how alarmed I was the first time something like this happened to me.

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