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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Four : Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter
Editing problems aside, this may be the best damn Jason movie you'll find.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Three : Friday the 13th 3-D
The NHL's most recognizable propaganda machine hacks his way into the third dimension.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Two : Friday the 13th Part II
Jason Voorhees bursts on the scene with a bit of first-time clumsiness.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy-Five : The Driller Killer
A fatalistic romp through the grimey mind of an 80's artist. Not quite what the title implies...
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy Four : Demons 2
Bava's back, and he brought horror's favorite pimp with him.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy-Three : Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Remakes can be done right. That is, if Jeff Goldblum is in them somewhere.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy-Two : Pieces
A movie that pulls no punches...and has no plot.
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The Horror Banana's Listweek Episode 1 : Top 10 Worst Movie Going Experiances
Sometimes it's better to wait for the DVD to hit the Redbox machine.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy-One : The New York Ripper
Somehow, movies like this escaped the Video Nasties list, but movies like "The Boogeyman" made it on. Uhm...
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy : The Cabin In The Woods
I'm gonna spoil this movie, but then again, that's not such a bad thing.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Nine : Paranormal Activity 4
All my reviews have lead to this.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Eight : Maniac
Deeply unnerving, but ultimately satisfying. A slasher with a serious unease to it.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Seven : The Boogeyman
Two reviews for the price of one? Don't get your hopes up.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Six : Alien
A story about cats, and their constant failure to save people from monsters.
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The Horror Banana's Top Ten Favorite Horror Films
A purely objective look at my favorite ten horror movies. Maybe they're not the best, but they're the ones I love.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Five : Three On A Meathook
A sloppy, old 1970's "Ed Gein" fake. It's funny, but not really.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Four : Evil Ed
It's a splatterfest of Swedish origin!
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Three : Exorcist 3 - Legion
In the repetitive world of sequels, this movie stands out.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-Two : Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Horror vets take the reigns and try to work together to fight zombies. It doesn't work too well for them, but it definetly does for us.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty-One : Wes Craven's They
Demonic creatures who bring about night terrors? Hmm...Wes Craven's behind this, isn't he?
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixty : Paranormal Entity
A rip off of Paranormal Activity actually succeeds where the sequels fail.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Nine : The Prowler
Hooray! A slasher film with no originality! Finally, my brain can take a break.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Eight : Hostel
A movie that teaches us that backpacking in Europe really is a stupid idea.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Seven : The Witch Who Came From The Sea
Another movie that makes macho men look like Muppet Babies. Bloody ones, at that.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Six : The Thing
A cold, isolated gross out fest of awesome proportion.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Five : Paranormal Activity 3
A comedy for the whole family, including your cute kids and their invisible friends.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Four : Dawn of the Dead
A movie about what my dad would do to zombies, and what I'd be doing in the meantime.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Three : There's Nothing Out There
Horror comedy at it's green, slimey best.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-Two : Psycho
Mother issues to the extreme. Slasher to the max. Horror turned up to 11. Yup. It's a good movie.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty-One : Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer
A dark, brooding tale told in a dark, grimy, documentary style. Jason Voorhees seems positively charming in comparison.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifty : The Hills Have Eyes
Revenge against mutants in the nuclear desert. Sounds worthy of my time!
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Miss Banana's Horror-palooza Episode One : The Dead Zone
Fun stuff with Walken and Sheen!
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Nine: The Midnight Meat Train
Pull out your jar of old saved scabs and pop in this wonderful piece of film.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Eight : Lovely Molly
A confusing posession movie with bits of POV camera and pieces of demonic-ness. It's weird.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Seven: Night of the Living Dead
Social commetary takes the form of flesh eating "ghouls" in this classic Romero flick.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Six: I Spit On Your Grave
This movie's about as much fun as a vasectomy.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Five: Don't Look Now
Confusion's always watchable when Donald Sutherland's involved.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Four: Mountain of the Cannibal God
If you want entertainment, I wish I had the movie for you. Instead, here's a movie about cannibals.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Three: The Fly
After seeing this movie, you may end up replacing your flyswatter with a shotgun.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Two: The Exorcist
Linda Blair misbehaves and scares people in the future, forever.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-One: Hatchet
Kicking back to 80's slashers, upping the comedy, and including a few horror vets. All in all, Grade A stuff.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty : Zombi 2
The master of the eye gag brings a pseudo sequel to Romero's Living Dead movies.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Nine: Paranormal Activity 2
If you just called the Ghostbusters, we wouldn't be four movies deep.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Eight: Cabin Fever
Rednecks, disease, and killer dogs. Sounds like the area I live in.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Seven: Cannibal Ferox
The ultimate gross out movie. Also one of the funnier ones. ZOOM ZOOM!
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Six: The Blair Witch Project
The compass is useless in finding your way out of these woods. Should have brought more food.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Five: Pumpkinhead
Keep away from Pumpkinhead, Unless you're tired of living.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Four: PontyPool
Throw your thoughts on zombie movies out the window. This is Orsen Wells stuff.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Three: Aftermath
You'll save yourself time and nausea if you just read this review. It's quicker, even if the movie's only a half hour.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-Two: Troll 2
A movie about family, survival, floating heads, tiny people in weird masks, vegitables and the perils of RV-ing.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty-One: The Beast in Heat
Do you like monsters, babies, or tasteful movies? Then stay away from this...
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirty: Bad Taste
The director of "District 9" shows us his real intentions.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Nine: Paranormal Activity
I'm not embarassed. Scariest movie I've ever seen.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty Eight: Re-Animator
I don't remember college being this bloody.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Seven: A Serbian Filim
Before you jump on the snuff film bandwagon, be warned. This is not a fun movie, even a little.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Six: Cemetery Man
Explosively good film from Italian director Micheal Saovi. Floating heads, the Grim Reaper, and snowglobes...what more could you ask for?
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Five: Suspiria
At least in this movie, there's reasons for maggots falling out of the ceiling.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Four: Rest Stop
Someone wrote a script on the stall walls, and this was the result.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Three: Demons
Lamberto Bava brings an unexpected horror masterpiece out of the movie craphole of Italy.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-Two: House By the Cemetery
The 1960's Batman had more convincing bats than this movie.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty-One: City of the Living Dead
Fulci carries us on a confusing tour of the dead, while serving up pointless drillings and gut-barfings. Sound enticing?
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twenty: Remakes
Hey. They aren't all poop. Just...most of them.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Nineteen: When Horror Parodies Horror
If you can't make fun of yourself, you shouldn't make fun of other movies.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Eighteen : Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The Series)
Take your pick from any one of these six movies. None of them have anything to do with one another. At all.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventeen: The Beyond
If you like blood and confusion, Fulci's the man for you. And this, I guess, is probably his best work.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Sixteen: Anthropophagous the Beast
Rather than buying drugs to help you sleep, pop this in your DVD player before you go to sleep.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fifteen : The Howling
Before they were pining after vampire's girlfriends, werewolves were real jerks. But everyone was a jerk in the 80's.
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Precious Perfection, Perfect Destruction
This is a poem that I wrote a long time ago about a paranoid man in what is basically an excellent relationship.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourteen: Altered States
You don't need drugs when you have movies like this around.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Twelve : The Ugly
I wish all countries took their horror as seriously as New Zealand. Wait...scratch that...
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Thirteen : Basket Case
Twins? I don't see the resemblance. Maybe I'm just not observant.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Eight: C.H.U.D.
C.H.U.D. means two things...and I still don't have a clue if they even really mean either.
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John’s Horror Banana-nanza Episode Six: Most Shocking/Disturbing Scenes Ever
Scenes you could just skip. But why bother even watching then?
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Eleven: Cannibal Holocaust
My suggestion? Don't eat while watching this.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Ten :Last House on the Left
And you thought today's movies were brutal.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Nine: The Evil Dead Series
You know why this series was fantastic? Because the Deadites knew when to die. Permanently.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seven: A Nightmare on Elm Street (All Original Movies)
Freddy is a clown. Yeah, a burned, disturbed clown. But I still think Stabler from SVU would beat him into submission.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Five: The "Sleepaway Camp" Series
This episode, it's all about Angela. You know, the female Jason? Wait...you don't know? Wow...you need to catch up.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Four: Hellraiser (The Series)
Hopefully they won't tear this review...APART.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Three: The "Jaws" Series
Sometimes a rubber shark just doesn't scare anyone.
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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Two: The "Halloween" Series
The only series where the main character is the biggest downfall. Be glad your last name isn't Myers...or you're not in a cult...or you don't own radioactive melting masks...yeah.