Yesterday, I've added personal experience to add more weight to my computer hub, mentioned about comparison shopping, two links and a new poll. It came back to NFQ again. Why? I did what HP wanted me to do to pass QP. I also fixed and edited my writing and nothing there's spammy. I've removed my two links from Consumer Reports this morning. Here's the link: http://kristenhowe.hubpages.com/hub/Bac … e-Computer Any thoughts?
I agree with what Glenn said, but I would also get rid of the ads. They are unnecessary and add nothing for the reader that they need. You already have photos of the different types of computers, so showing them in ads is redundant. I'm betting this is your main problem.
As a reader, this article would almost seem made specifically to sell product, so take the ads out, submit again and see what happens. You can always add them back in later if your article does not pass muster again.
Honestly, I think the whole article is the problem. What value are you offering the reader in this article?
Your opening paragraph suggests the article is not serious - I mean, how many people are really looking for a computer to complement their desk? They're looking for a computer based on what they need it to do, not on how it will look sitting in their office!
The rest of the article is based on your opinions of the best computers, without providing any explanation of WHY they are the best - do you expect readers just to take your word for it? Also, the pros and cons are not set out clearly against each other - instead they're contained in long rambling paragraphs.
Nice hub Kristen. But since you're asking - it may be due to some minor issues that I found with grammar, subject-verb agreement, sentence structure and spelling.
Example: You say "There's so many kinds" but the correct way to say it is "There ARE so many kinds." The former is equivalent to "there is" which has the wrong subject-verb agreement for the rest of that sentence.
Another example: The name "iPad" is a trademarked name and should be spelled correctly... Small i, capital P.
You also have some very long paragraphs that need to be broken up. It's best to limit paragraphs to three or four sentences.
Read it aloud to yourself and you should catch all the mistakes that way. I make similar mistakes and they stand out when I read my hubs out loud.
Others have mentioned this on other threads, but you have grammar issues. Reading the first paragraph, several errors are immediate. There are free grammar checkers out there you can use and you need to tighten this up. I would recommend you use a small voice recorder (they are inexpensive) and record what you want to say and then write from that. Your first paragraph is exceptionally difficult to understand. You use too many words and in a strange order. Tighten up your language.
Here is your first paragraph
"Once you've found the perfect desk to fit into your home, apartment or college dorm, you will need to complete it with another essential for your office. And that's your computer! Before we could accessorize the desk, when you're finding the perfect PC to fit your writing needs, it can be hard. Some people prefer to have one at home and one for the go, especially if you use one for work. There's so many kinds out there to know about, when you do your own comparison shopping, with pluses and minuses for your pros and cons. It would be a perfect gift for you and/or for someone you love."
Here is a rewrite - see which "sounds" better. Read your work out loud before you publish. Several have mentioned this to you.
So, you've found the perfect desk to fit into your home, apartment or college dorm, now you need to complete it with another office essential; your computer! You'll want to accessorize that new desk with the best computer, but finding the ideal one to meet your writing needs can be difficult. Do you prefer a standard PC? Do you want to take your work on the go with you? There are so many computers to research when you do your comparison shopping and it's important to know the pros and cons of each.
See how the rewrite asks questions, gets the reader involved like you're giving advice instead of talking circles around several subjects at once? You are struggling with clarity of message and no one wants to read something more than once to try to figure out the message. I had to read your paragraph 3 times to figure out where you were really going. Tighten it up, keep your ads relevant and speak from experience.
You are solving a problem and providing information to your reader. If you cant' do that concisely and clearly, you aren't going to sell anything anyway, so better to remove the ads, or take your time and really polish your work.
Not trying to be harsh so please don't take it that way. I want to be helpful. Every single writer always has room for improvements. Practice never makes "perfect" in this field, but it does make "better" Good luck!
Thanks Christin. I did speak from my personal experience, esp with comparison shopping to add more weight yesterday. I have 2 ads for Apple only. I'll keep trying to pass QP again and again, You're not harsh. You're being helpful. I thought it was "online" that held it up as spammy elements. *sigh*
Why? Because it has all the same mistakes that were pointed out to you in this thread from a couple of days ago: http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/132264
It is frustrating to see you ask for advice, not follow the advice you are given, and then ask the same question again. And it's not just this instance -- this seems to be a pattern.
Smart, I've been following advice you've all given me last week--I've added personal experience with comparison shopping and revised my grammar writing. It's not a pattern. I'm just frustrated with getting slapped with NFQ again, when I've edited, updated, and revised from everyone's tips. Sorry you feel this way. I won't ask again here. :-(
I'm not saying you shouldn't ask here -- of course you are welcome to post here at any time. That is what the forums are for.
I'm just saying that in the thread from a few days ago, some of us pointed out specific instances of incorrect grammar, which you chose not to correct -- and now you are asking again why your hub didn't pass yet another go-round of QAP. People are answering again, pointing out the very same grammar mistakes that others pointed out two days ago.
I do not mean to make you feel unwelcome. It is just frustrating to see that the mistakes remain, but you still want to know why it won't pass.
I have a couple of links for you that I think will really help you - and anyone else who wants to work on polishing their writing for that matter .
http://www.grammarly.com/blog/2014/5-ex … n-writing/
The next one the Online Writing Lab was my life saver in college! SO much great learning and it's all free. Check this one out.
Here is another great free tool called paper rater. You copy and paste or upload there and it gives you all kinds of advice on grammar, word usage etc. I love this one too! I use it a lot
Thanks Christin. I appreciate it. I'll be working on the hub again later this week, since it got marked again with NFQ. Maybe this next/last time would be the charm, this weekend. Other people are giving me a hard time.
You keep changing your hub but you never address the issues that everyone has been bringing to your attention. I see you never fixed a single thing that I mentioned earlier.
I see each one of the issues everyone has been mentioning are still in your hub at this moment. You are not following any suggestions that everyone has been telling you. All you did was change the text and remove some ads. You have not been improving it. You just keep posting additional forum threads asking all over again. I see you have the same questions in other threads.
We are all taking a lot of time trying to help you and it's frustrating when we all see that you just keep repeating your questions.
Why don't you take the following list (repeated from my prior suggestions) and check off each item, one by one, as you fix each problem. Do that instead of just repeating your questions.
4. Subject-verb agreement
5. Sentence structure
6. Lengthy paragraphs
Glenn, I never saw your previous comments from earlier. I've taken on advice last week to fix grammar and add my personal experience to it yesterday, which included comparison shopping. I'm saw for repeating my questions, when I've fixed the hub, and still won't pass QAP. I haven't fixed it today and won't do it until later this week. I've removed my links and still keeping 2 ads there for the moment, which are related to the hub too.
by Stacie L 2 years ago
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