The Hub Police need YOU - Sign up now!

1. 52

   HubPoliceposted 9 years ago

   Recruits needed:
   
   Are you the kind of Hubber who:
   
   (1)    Loves to point out the hub rules to all other Hubbers, especially to the Noobs, after all you’ve been here for months or years and they should damn well ‘Respect My Authorata!'
   
   
   (2)    Instead of trying your best to post helpful replies to threads even if you’ve come across them a fair few times (after all they’re new, they don’t know you’ve had to read it a 1000 times before) you prefer to dish out your wisdom in short snappy doses such as ‘This is not the forum for this, this does not belong here, have you not read the TOS?’ always in a patronizing manner.
   
   If you can answer yes to at least one of the above, then we need YOU to help make Hubpages a more controlled and regulated but less fun and helpful place to be.
   
   Don’t hesitate, ‘Sign up now!’

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   1. 56

      Lgaliposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sign me up too

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   2. 83

      Hope Alexanderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That should be 'authoritah' - the h is silent, but don't beat yourself up about it, it's a common n00b mistake.

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2. 60

   Mark Knowlesposted 9 years ago

   Sign me up Captain.
   
   Pretty sure we can count on Misha too.......

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3. 70

   Shirley Andersonposted 9 years ago

   Oh, boy!  Rules, regulations and less fun!  Can't beat it with a stick but suspect that you might want to. 
   
   Good luck with your recruitment!

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   1. 52

      HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I surely do love to beat my stick!

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      1. 43

         badcompany99posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I bet you do Big Boy : )

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      2. 70

         Shirley Andersonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         LOL, yeah, I'll bet you do!

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         1. 52

            HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            You don't get big strong arms like these without putting in the over-time.

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4. 81

   frogdroppingposted 9 years ago

   lolol - you mean we're gonna get Hubulators? WOOOOOOO
   
   I'm a Noob - and no one has ever been gripey with me. Still, there's always a first time.
   
   Sign me up anyway. I don't know enough about the rules but I can come up with nice new ones.
   
   Like On Mondays, between the hours of this and that, all hubbers must produce one top quality article that is bloody brilliant and backlinked from here to the moon. With nice shiny tags too.
   
   It could be the Monday Mooners Rule

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5. 78

   AEvansposted 9 years ago

   I am in Captain when are we sworn in????

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6. 52

   HubPoliceposted 9 years ago

   OK recruits your new job is to 'To Protect and to Serve', sorry scratch that, I meant 'To Patronize and to give a severe ticking off to anybody who doesn't do things your way!'
   
   Night-sticks for all, go stick it to em.

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   1. 43

      badcompany99posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I dont like the way you are running this club plus I think you are giving Police a bad name. This kind of thing ruins a website and I am sorry but you deserve a right ticking off !!

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      1. 52

         HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         That'a boy BC, you've passed with flying colors.

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   2. 78

      AEvansposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I can't do that as everyone is unique oh my like Eric said it must be the uniform!! Who are you anyway? Must be another alter ego. LOLOLLOLO

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      1. 83

         Uninvited Writerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I have an idea who it is

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         1. 52

            HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Nobody knows the man/woman behind the mask.

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         2. 84

            JamaGeneeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Not hard to figure out. lol!

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            1. 52

               HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I'll give you 3 guesses, if you guess right I will reveal my true identity.

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         3. 78

            AEvansposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Who is it?? I just wrote a hub for the challenge called  hubpages alter egos and HubPolice is on there.
            I got it Misha!!!!

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            1. 52

               HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Nope, not even close, but can you post me a link to your hub, I wanna go read it.

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      2. 52

         HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Of course you can, try it you'll like it!
         
         'Who are you anyway?' - Not telling, so :p

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7. 60

   Eric Graudinsposted 9 years ago

   Hey Hub Police.
   Who the HELL do you think you are.
   Been here five minutes and you're already throwing your weight around.
   
   And suckered a few hubbers into your net as well I see.
   
   We don't like your kind around here.
   Be in my office in 5 minutes.
   I'll bloody well give you "respect my Authorata".
   
   (I'll forgive AEvans. She goes all trembly at the sight of a uniform. And make sure Mr. Knowles gets industrial strength waders and a diving helmet for his beat in the Religious forums. And a couple of boxes of Kraft Spaghetti and cheese in case he gets peckish)

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   1. 52

      HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That's the ticket recruit, you'll go far in the HubPolice, I smell officer potential.

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      1. 60

         Eric Graudinsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah, well I smell something - err someone- too :-)

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   2. 97

      Anti-Valentineposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Too right. Not like I break many rules, as far as I know, but if this gets much worse, I'm off!

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      1. 52

         HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         "Why so serious?"

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8. 60

   compu-smartposted 9 years ago

   lnmao at this thread\!! and yes, Sign me up:D

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   1. 70

      Shirley Andersonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Compu-Smart!  I'm going to have to start calling you Mr. Uniform Pants...or maybe Mr. Police Pants.

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   2. 52

      HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Good man Compu-smart, welcome aboard.

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9. 76

   Herald Dailyposted 9 years ago

   Do I get a badge and a gun?  Can I run the siren?  Do I get bonus points for being extra bossy, rude and obnoxious?  How 'bout if I tell a moderator what they're doing wrong?

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   1. 52

      HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You surely do, and one of those nice electic-shocky-tazer-thingy-mabobs.  Gold stars for using the 'report' button, especially if your use of said button is completely unjustified or based upon your own personal prejudice or feelings of superiority.
      
      Now who wants dough-nuts?

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      1. 60

         Eric Graudinsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Yes Bishop Knowles. There's a LOT of work ahead.
         I've already reported the post fragment (above) for crimes against the English language.
         
         And against the American idiom. dough-nuts indeed!

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         1. 52

            HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I need to step out for awhile to get my pubes shaved down to police regulation number one, it's a requirement of the job.
            
            But keep up the good work recruits, make me proud!

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         2. 60

            Mark Knowlesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I've been demoted to Bishop? Not sure the gold star makes up for that........

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10. 0

    Leta Sposted 9 years ago

    LOL  Sorry.  Way too anti-authoritarian.  Won't be joining.  Will just lurk in the sidelines and give the occasional free speech rant from a soap box.

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11. 76

    Herald Dailyposted 9 years ago

    Oh!  I do, I do!
    
    This is going to be a ton o' fun!  Can't wait to try out my electric tazer thingy, that's gonna be so cool!

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    1. 60

       Mark Knowlesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Well - you can start by using the English language properly and stop using words such as "thingy."
       
       Kindly re-write that last statement in proper English or find yourself reported and flagged.
       
       You are right - this is going to be cool.

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       1. 52

          HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Brilliant officer Mark, I'd forgotten all about spelling correction, that's using your initiative.  'GOLD STAR'

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       2. 76

          Herald Dailyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Don't make me use my tazer thingy on ya!

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12. 91

    Will Apseposted 9 years ago

    If I could be bothered to go anon, I too would speak my mind. Let me just say that being new is a crime in most groups. I have seen more than one toddler trying to assasinate a new born brother or sister.

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       I hope that's metaphorical!

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       1. 91

          Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          I wish it was. Many new syblings have to be rescued from the garbage bag and many heavy implements have to be hidden in families blessed with new life.

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          1. 52

             HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

             Really? I've lived a sheltered life!

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13. 60

    lxxyposted 9 years ago

    Doesn't everyone do this already?

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Only the best of the best make it into this mans police force.

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14. 59

    gamergirlposted 9 years ago

    What the heck is this about?
    
    You can't just waltz into the forums and tell everyone what to do, how to act or what rules to follow, not clear cut.. the point is to make them feel bad in the process.  It's not trolling, either, it's re-education.

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       "Respect My Authorita!"

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15. 61

    Teresa McGurkposted 9 years ago

    hilarious -- the right way to have handled this, I think.  Well done for creativity.

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Why thank you pretty lady, just doing my job!

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    2. 0

       Iphigeniaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Well as for you, Madame ! I suppose that we could possibly let you get away will that despicable lack of Upper Case Letters because you have an arm in a cast.
       
       BUT WHY SHOULD WE !

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       1. 61

          Teresa McGurkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          pulled the muscle in my broken forearm.  in pain.

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          1. 0

             Iphigeniaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

             Well, in that case suggest non-use of all articles, direct and indirect and use of impersonal pronoun only. Forthwith.

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16. 43

    CabinGirlposted 9 years ago

    I like an alter ego in uniform though !!

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       I like an alter ego wearing nothing but thigh high boots and a pirate hat!

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17. 56

    The Captainposted 9 years ago

    AArrrrggghhh!  The Captain is IN!  Sure, I'll tell the scallywags a thing or two.  I've got me satchel spilling over with the flags of skull and crossbones, and I'll be plantin' 'em on yer offensive hubs! That I will!  And I've got a brig and some prison rooms below decks...at your disposal! Dirty landlubbers!

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18. 84

    SweetiePieposted 9 years ago

    Not sure why the HubPolice cares if people have fun.

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19. 61

    Dame Scribeposted 9 years ago

    Sorry...to busy in the creative tower and confused with rules and regulations to be of any assistance lol

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20. 76

    Herald Dailyposted 9 years ago

    Being too serious is a serious offense!

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21. 60

    Eric Graudinsposted 9 years ago

    Looks like a few over serious hubbers here need some satire lessons.

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       My thoughts exactly!

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22. 82

    cindyvineposted 9 years ago

    Sticks and stones might break my bones but whips and chains excite me!  Just love your strong forearm, Mr police Officer!  Will you arrest me?

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       lol, believe it or not I actually have that written on the coffee mug I'm drinking out of right now, how bizarre.

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       1. 70

          Shirley Andersonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Do you have those fur-lined cuffs?

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          1. 52

             HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

             I have whatever you desire, you name it I got it!

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          2. 70

             Shirley Andersonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

             LOL, I can't help it, the scene from 'The Full Monty' where the guys are lined up and stripping out of their uniforms comes to mind. 

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             1. 52

                HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                You have but to ask, behind this rotund belly and aging exterior lies an unstoppable sexual gymnast, would you believe I can do the splits?

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23. 57

    raiderfanposted 9 years ago

    Hubpolice?? I betta get outta here! Don't get mad cuz I ate all the jelly donuts

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       You ate all my donuts, right it's solitary for you!

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24. 83

    Uninvited Writerposted 9 years ago

    Well, a certain person called Mandy hasn't posted all day...
    
    
    Until a minute after I wrote this

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    1. 52

       HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Nope, nope and nope!

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       1. 0

          Leta Sposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          You are one of three people.  If you keep writing, I'll figure it out...  Gotta keep writing, though. 

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          1. 52

             HubPoliceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

             I am only one of one person. x

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             1. 0

                Leta Sposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                Yeah, check that...but so far, from what I've seen--you can be one of 3 I'd consider.  Perhaps narrowing it down a bit more now...

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25. 52

    HubPoliceposted 9 years ago

    Garggggh! If only the Cabin girl were here, she would not put up with ye nonsense!

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26. 52

    HubPoliceposted 9 years ago

    4 in the morning, HubPolice signing off, feel free to do WTF you like without fear of repercussion.
    
    NN.

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27. 59

    gamergirlposted 9 years ago

    While the Copper's away, the super serious hubbers will play!
    
    Who wants to pour sugar in his patrol car's gas tank?

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    1. 60

       goldentoadposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       I'd like to spray paint my love on it

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28. 82

    Mighty Momposted 9 years ago

    Are you a good cop? Or a bad cop?
    Does this new (ad)vice squad take bribes?

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29. 61

    Dame Scribeposted 9 years ago

    Great idea gamergirl lets put honey on back of the patrol cars steering wheel, spray paint? heyyy...lets get some graffiti on that empty spot on the side or would the back be better? lol

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30. 52

    HubPoliceposted 9 years ago

    I have never in all my years witnessed such blatant disrespect for the law; you people should be ashamed, don’t come crying to me when somebody firebombs your house or you wake up to find a strange man in your backyard stealing your undies off the washing line

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31. 59

    gamergirlposted 9 years ago

    That'd be difficult what with my lack of owning/wearing undies. >.>

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32. 61

    Dame Scribeposted 9 years ago

    Sorry, have no idea what you refer 2 can't be corruptin me innosense you know

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33. 59

    wittywriterposted 9 years ago

    I knew I joined the right group. Man, I look (act) normal compared to you all. LOL!

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