Adult Industry-Is My Friend Crazy

1. 63

   Dale Mazurekposted 13 years ago

   Okay a very good friend of mine called me up yesterday to come help her with some website work.  She also told me that her and her husband wanted to ask my opinion on something.
   
   When I got there they informed me that she had joined an internet dating sex site.  She informed me that she wants to do this and was in no way being asked by her husband.
   
   She also told me how much money she made in the first week and that was quite amazing.
   
   Okay she says she loves what she is doing, her kids are moved out and she is having the time of her life doing the wabble on camera for other guys and getting paid.
   
   I am a good friend of hers but honestly Im not sure what to think.  One part of me says go for it while another says you have got to be out of your mind.
   
   Anyways Im just curious as to what other Hubbers feel on this subject.  Her husband and her do seem to be happy so I guess who am I to judge.
   
   Anyways let me know what you think.
   
   Cheers

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   1. 89

      Marisa Wrightposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Is this a dating site or a get-your-kit-off-in-front-of-the-camera site?
      
      If it's a dating site then I'd be worried sick for her - unless her husband goes with her to any assignations, LOL.  I'm all in favour of real dating sites, where the emphasis is on finding a life partner, but sex dating sites attract far too many creeps to be safe.
      
      If it's just a voyeur thing, then I still think it's unwise but I guess it's up to her.

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      1. 63

         Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thats the first thing I asked and it's not dating guys but yes, no way to really say it other than having sex with guys online.  I think she is very lured by the money.  $700 in 5 days as an ametuer.

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   2. 0

      fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I Think she should forget about running for congress, ha!

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      1. 66

         blondepoetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         ROFL FIERY

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   3. 63

      kmackey32posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I actually did this years ago..

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   4. 59

      Helen Caterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What you have to think about is there are some people out there who get a kick out of this kind of thing. The husband obviously is and so is she so I think it is safe and if she is having fun good on her. G o check it out I say lol.

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2. 62

   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   We all make our own choices, some good, some bad.  Probably the best thing is to say what you would do in her place and then let it be.  If you are comfortable with it, you can be supportive or neutral.  If not, remaining neutral may be the best position if you value her friendship.  Just one opinion.

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   1. 63

      Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yep I think neutral is the best way.  She may get tired of it and move on and if not well all the power to them I guess.

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3. 71

   darksideposted 13 years ago

   Exactly what opinion was she after?

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   1. 63

      Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I guess at that point it wasn't an opinion but it was her way of telling me.  We are very good friends and have been for a long time and I think she wanted me to tell her what she was doing was okay and I truly do have mixed feelings on it.

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4. 0

   Leta Sposted 13 years ago

   lol, ummm?  Actually meeting/seeing these guys, as in online like, prostitution, or a kind of 'acting' thing with video cameras, etc.? 
   
   Wow.  Think I'll stick the attempting real estate investments.   Yeah, I think it's a little nuts...but who am I to say?  I guess as long as it is legal employment.

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   1. 63

      Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Honestly I was in shock when they told me but as a friend I do want to support her but also have to look at morals and such.
      
      Just not sure, they told me their entire plan, pay down their mortgage, put money away for retirement and such and they are both going to keep their normal day jobs as well.  I think I will support her as long as no one is getting hurt but how do I know if no one is getting hurt.
      
      Why couldnt they open a Macdonalds or something  lol

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5. 62

   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   We all protitute ourselves in one fashion or another.  Whether we sell our intellect, our visage, our voice, or our principles, it is pretty much all the same.  What is distasteful to one is acceptable to another.  As long as both parties are consenting and it is not damaging another, what right does anyone else have to judge?

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      blondepoetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Logic you said everything I was going to say. Great minds think alike.

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6. 60

   Colebabieposted 13 years ago

   Sounds like she is happy and has already made her decision. Even more amazing is that she is honest with her husband and he supports it. I give her credit for being honest. If this is what she wants to do to make some extra money, I don't see a problem with it. As long as it doesn't start to negatively affect her life.

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   1. 63

      Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      She told me it has been good for her and hubbies intimate life and they both agreed that if in any way something seems even a little off the account would be getting deleted and that would be the end.

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      1. 60

         Colebabieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         And as long as they stick to that promise I don't see a problem.
         
         She should be wary of allowing it to take up too much time (becoming somewhat addicted), the $ is tempting, or taking it past where she is comfortable. But if she makes rules for herself, she'll be fine.

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         AEvansposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I don't know her but I support her what the heck she is brave enough to do it and the marriage is strong it is o.k. in my book.

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7. 81

   Connie Smithposted 13 years ago

   My own daughter and I spoke of selling out for money several years ago when her husband wanted to (and did) become a DJ at strip clubs.  He ended up with a drinking problem, of course, the invariable whispers of cheating and the relationship has never been the same.  Though everyone has their own morals and goals in life, using sex to make money has never been an accepted or respected occupation in our society.  I believe that the hazards involved are much greater than the benefits to this couple and I predict that, ultimately, they will both be sorry that they started down this path.  It is ripe for ultimate real life cheating (just think of those folks who have fallen in love just by chatting!), future disrespect from the husband and the possible end of a good marriage.  There are many small businesses that they could start in their spare time that could achieve the same financial goals without the dangers involved in one like this.  They are doing nothing but going for quick easy money the old fashioned way.  Performing sexual acts for money is called prostitution.  Does it really matter that it is over the web?  I don't think so.

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   1. 0

      Leta Sposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, hopefully it is a short term thing.  The burn out rate is high in any sex industry like that, let's not fool ourselves.  It's probably a great irony that those whose lives have never been remotely touched by stuff like this can think it's 'fine' and cool.
      
      I have one slightly wild sister who was a topless waitress in a strip club for a while when she was younger.  Yep, money in tips was good.  Men grabbing at her and treating her like crap while on duty was not.
      
      Some women think this kind of 'sexuality,' if you want to call it that, brings them a certain kind of power...I'd say its one based in low self esteem.  Some men like the fantasy that women are cool with prostitution for $$.  It's lack of self esteem, too, just in another way.

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8. 63

   Mishaposted 13 years ago

   Don't see any problem with this.

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9. 60

   chinaemeremposted 13 years ago

   i dont see any problem with that she is doing as for me i want to be one of the actor that act porn or Adult movie in Nigeria contact me if you know email d12xx@yahoo.com

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10. 61

    Michele Arrvinteposted 13 years ago

    If she is not afraid that her children will grow up and find some of these movies online...

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    1. 63

       Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Well first off their last child just graduated and left home.  Secondly she isn't making movies but rather  hmmm how do i put this.  She is basically helping guys and girls meet their needs through a chat forum mostly. 
       
       People pay her to do certain acts for so much time.  So there will be no movies and honestly I would be willing to bet her kids would say good for you mom.
       
       I think I will support her and her husband in their endeavor.  They really are great people and are just trying to get ahead in the world.  I know my wife and I would never take that route but I also know we have never judged.

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       1. 75

          livewithrichardposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          It's her business, but I would try to make it as secure as possible. You say there will be no movies but the reality is, if it can be put online it can be recorded.  What if one of these recordings ends up in view of their co-workers or bosses?
          
          I would be suggesting they invest in some type of encryption that prevents recording of the webcam sessions.

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          1. 76

             Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Many chat programmes have that kinda thing voice/webcam in the adult section ,but its free,so im wondering how shes actaully going to get people to pay for it?

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                Mishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Now you are talking business Kiwi.

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                   Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Hmmm..things that go bump in the night.

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11. 60

    deepthoughtposted 13 years ago

    One, it takes a brave soul to do what your friend is about to do. Two, if it's being done from the comfort of her own home and she's not hurting anyone nor is anyone hurting her. There should be no problem. We're not living in the day of Ozzie and Harriet. We're living in a computer age where "sex sell"

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    1. 63

       Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yep the more I think about it and I know this couple very well I think out of anyone these two can really make it work.  I am going to support them.  Not that they need the support but thats what friends do

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       1. 60

          deepthoughtposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          That's it, just be a friend supporting a friend the rest is their
          decision to make

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12. 0

    pgrundyposted 13 years ago

    I think it's kind of sad. I don't begrudge her the money and if she is enjoying doing it then really, it truly is her business and no one else's. But I've seen sites like that and I've seen men get addicted to them, and it's kind of pathetic. My ex got into this, and he'd sit up all night talking to the avatars of pretend naked people, yet he couldn't stay in a real relationship because he was so abusive and dysfunctional. If somebody moved the dish soap eight inches to the right of where he thought it should be he'd go berserk. He's still that way. He liked online sex because of the illusion of total control and the lack of any real intimacy. He could buy that and he did buy it.
    
    My ex ran up huge debts on this kind of crap. I had to stop sleeping with him, it wasn't safe after awhile because I had no way of knowing what he was doing. To my mind, it's an addiction like any addiction, so if you're supplying it, you're either another addict or you're a dealer.
    
    So, I don't know. I think it's a high risk thing and not very sexy. You look at these sex websites, and you find 400 close ups of dicks and another 400 close ups of anuses and so forth. It's like shopping for pork chops only grosser.

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       Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Gawd ,put me in mind of those blow up dolls ,guys who had them as REAL girlfriends....grosse

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          pgrundyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah, I think it's kind of like that for men who really get into it. Not all of them, but for lots of them it's messed up and sad.

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    2. 81

       Connie Smithposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I just woke up, but this last line had me laughing out loud.  I will never shop for pork chops (which we are supposed to have for dinner tonite lol) without thinking of dicks and anuses. I might have to give them up lol. 
       
       I don't think anyone on here has really judged them, including me.  We do not know them.  I think that these are all just honest opinions, including mine that this is a form of prostitution.  I know that I wouldn't want my own mother doing it and I also know that my children would not want me to do it, no matter how much it brought in. 
       
       I also wonder if there is any way that computer savvy people out there (you will notice I am not by the question) can trace back to where they live through IP address. 
       
       The targeted audience of this enterprise are going to consist of many lowlife types.  Porn -- not judging, but there is no other name for it -- attracts all kinds of perverts even when "tastefully" done.  This kind of stuff has a way of getting known.  If the kids do not mind, what about neighbors, employers, etc.?  Do they have a way of controlling who sees it and though it is "live" and not taped, surely it can be taped on the other end.

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13. 0

    Aquaposted 13 years ago

    Are you talking about those "Real Dolls"...those things are wild. I saw a documentary on those dolls and the guys who own them. Talk about intimacy problems - yikes!

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    1. 76

       Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yea totally unreal. Reality check big time
       
       Only positive thing I took out of it was that guys who are that way inclined (depraved) remain content with that behaviour! ( therefore leave the real girls alone)

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14. 76

    Eaglekiwiposted 13 years ago

    So Dale basically shes in the sex industry making money, like hookers ,only not quite as tangible.
    
    Guess she isnt the first and wont be the last.
    
    Its the lure of easy money and anonymity
    
    Sex
    Food
    Birth and Death , services always in high demand.

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15. 0

    ryankettposted 13 years ago

    Your friend is a mature adult that can make her own decisions in life, and you are her friend so should support her in that (even if this means not talking about it).
    
    What you should be talking to her about is STDs.... she might be making $700 a week (which in the great scheme of things isn't a lot of money when you think that she is likely to have hundreds of thousands of people seeing her shagging when they inevitably get leaked on the internet).
    
    In my opinion she shouldnt care what you think, the issues are:-
    
    1) What are her children going to think when their old school friends are passing around videos of their mum getting shagged on camera (not to mention probably jacking off over this).
    
    2) Is she insisting on protection? If she isn't wearing protection then she is almost certainly earning $700 per week to get HIV; particularly when you consider the type of people that she is sleeping with. That $700 a week doesn't sound like much now does it? (In fact, it doesn't sound like much anyway).
    
    If you are her friend, then you should address those key issues with her. They are both far more important than even her marriage, she has children and her health to consider.

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    1. 0

       ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Oh, is she just doing webcam stuff?
       
       In that case point 1 still applies.... she will still end up with her videos all over the net.
       
       Does she really want videos of her stripping on pornhub.com? Those videos get hundreds of thousands of hits.
       
       That $50 she might get for a quick easy dance does not sound like much money when the bloke rips the video and millions of people end up seeing it?

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       1. 63

          Dale Mazurekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          It is just webcam stuff and I think my support will come in silence.  This is something her hubbie and her need to address and really something that I shouldnt be involved in no matter how good of friends we are.
          
          Thanks for all the great responses.  The people here are always very intelligent in their responses.

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16. 0

    Leta Sposted 13 years ago

    Well, as long as you are gonna expose them, expect criticism:  You might think of wearing some support...  That is, before your account is deleted in an hour or so, CA time!

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17. 60

    Colebabieposted 13 years ago

    I think it is done through subscription. Some sites anyways. You create a profile and in order for someone to log in to yours they must have a subscription. Then the $$ is transferred to a paypal account. Just an idea

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       ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       You seem to know a lot about this Colebabie

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          kmackey32posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yea it depends on what site she works for. Some sites mail you a check. I was actually making about $1000 a week, but these days I just cant bring myself to do it again, although I have thought about it hard.

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             Colebabieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Yeah. I couldn't bring myself to do it. But I have no judgement for those who do. I'm watching Indecent Proposal right now and wondering what I would do in that situation. 1 million dollars to spend a night with Robert Redford...

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             ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             How much did you charge people? Just out of interest of course, I am intigued. Would you charge per 10 minutes or something, or would you just say its $30 and then do stuff until they had errr... 'finished'...

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          Colebabieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Ya well....
          Just kidding.

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18. 0

    Leta Sposted 13 years ago

    Sigh...  Probably easier to set up an E-bay store.  My bf made over $1000 the first week selling guitars and vintage jewelry.

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19. 60

    tantrumposted 13 years ago

    
    do you have your own site? You should! And start making some money out of that pair of'Tits'you have !  I wonder how much would you charge... 5$ ?

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       Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Hey a real live troll..drumming up business

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20. 63

    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    Well when I did it, I was younger and crazier. HA

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21. 63

    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    If you work for a site they set the amount, like $2 or $3 a minute. Sometimes I would use a free cam chat site and paypal. I think i charged about 50$ for 10 or 15 minutes. I wish I could remember the Cam chat site I used but its been years. Just depended on how the person wanted to do it. LOL

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22. 63

    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    The biggest reason I stopped is because my kids dad tryed using it against me in court over custody although he had done it at times too and didnt have a problem with it at the time. He even has the house I payed for....

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    1. 0

       ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       So Men can do it? where is the market for that? surely it wouldnt be women that paid the men, would it be men?
       
       Good reason to stop by the way!

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       Connie Smithposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       This is what I am talking about...this kind of thing has a way of backfiring on someone.  I assume if he has the house, he might also have the children?

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          Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          How come its not 50/50 property split?

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             kmackey32posted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I couldn't afford to take him to court over it. I left him and went into a domestic violence shelter. I just wanted out and away from him. We have joint custody. The house is a dive to be honest anyhow. Wasn't worth fighting. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate him. To this day I still have nightmares about the things he did to me.

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                Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                I understand, yep ya just want as far from everything. Emotional abuse leaves scars that people never see.

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                   kmackey32posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Yea he was badly abusive to and the courts wont allow that to be used either.

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                      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      WoW...Family Courts (NOT civil) in NZ are required by law to admitt all evidences, especially set up for Domestic Violence..battered womens syndrome etc?

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       2. 63

          kmackey32posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          
          
          Yes he was in the house and had participated. No the courts wouldn't take it into consideration here. What people do in there bedrooms is there buisness is what the judge said. But it was the point that I wouldn't want people who know me to know about it.My ex was just a conman and abusive alcoholic, long story, Ya know what I mean. We have joint custody.

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23. 63

    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    Well, I later found out the judge I had, I believed was bias as he was going through a divorce at the time. Maybe he thought because I was in the adult Industry online that I deserved it somehow. I Don't know.

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    1. 62

       logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Well, you are cute enough to be in the online adult industry!

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24. 81

    bgpappaposted 13 years ago

    I think as a friend you should support them.  But as a friend you should point out if it appears to have gone too far.

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