How To Be Unhappy

1. 71

   darksideposted 13 years ago

   Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them.
   
   Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first.
   
   Get yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything.
   
   Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection.
   
   Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.
   
   Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.
   
   Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery.
   
   Take personally everything that happens to you.
   
   Don't give yourself wholeheartedly to anyone or anything.

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   1. 70

      The Bardposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Little things bother me! I don't make them or let them (gnats, mosquitoes, cockroaches - they really bother me!)
      I often lose my perspective, but that's because I often lose my spectacles!
      I worry about everything that finds me impotent (stop smirking at the back!)
      I am a perfectionist, and I condemn myself for being so smug!
      I am always right!
      I don't trust anyone and always see the worst in people!
      I never compare myself unfavourably to others - how can I? I'm superior!
      I always take everything personally that happens to me - after all it's personal to me!
      I don't give myself wholeheatedly to anyone or anything. Why should I? I'm a narcissist (ie vainglorious, conceited, egotistical and selfish).
      
      I'm extremely happy!
      
      What was the point by the way? (Sorry! I was just admiring myself in the mirror!)

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      1. 71

         darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Whilst wearing the white fedora and looking quite dapper!

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   2. 57

      prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      in addition to this, you need to stop being greedy, be contented specially with money!

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   3. 50

      keegan02posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Be free frank and openminded.. dont let your worries to worry much inside.. live them freely..means speak to people whom you like and share..by this way your worries slowly goes down and paves a way for your happiness..there are some release techniques needs to be followed...www releasetechniques com

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   4. 0

      Pacal Votanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Phew, I'll try and follow some of this advice, but keeping everything in mind would probably be impossible for me. Which ones are the strongest points?

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2. 86

   KCC Big Countryposted 13 years ago

   You left one out.....
   
   To make yourself the most unhappy that you can, be sure to share your unhappiness with everyone you meet.  If they attempt to make you happy, drive your unhappiness home by reiterating over and over how unhappy you are until you drive them away and then you can gloat that you're justified in your happiness because you have no one.

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   1. 0

      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ah what would the world be without the buzz killers?
      
      great posts, Darkside, KCC and RebekahELLE.
      
      p.s. i really think some people simply cannot stand to see other people appearing to be happy. does that mean happy people have a better life than unhappy people? no. they just keep their problems to themselves and dwell in positivity, which annoys unhappy people because they want to drag you down with them.

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      1. 0

         lyricsingrayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

           love you

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3. 84

   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   and then make sure you LOOK really unhappy so you can get more attention.

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4. 0

   Scott.Lifeposted 13 years ago

   WOW, is this a prerequisite list for becoming an authority on forum debates in religion and politics?

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5. 0

   Justine76posted 13 years ago

   add paranoid, and you got a list of how to be my sister in law. oh yeah, and no one “gets” you, cuz the rest of the world is dumber then you.

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6. 61

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   This is funny.  I think you may be hanging out with a couple of the same people I hang out with. 
   
   I'd like to add, though, that "always comparing yourself unfavorably to others" should go hand-in-hand with "always comparing yourself favorably to others".  This gives you that feeling that you live in an awful world full of awful people (which adds double punch to guarantee of unhappiness), and the feeling that nobody else seems to see all your wonderfulness and superiority (yet a third kind of punch). Besides, doing both at the same time can lead to confusion, which is always a guarantee of being unhappy.
   
   This can seem related to "Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives," but there are subtle differences between the two.

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7. 61

   Betty Reidposted 13 years ago

   Eat poorly and never exercise.  Alternatively, eat nothing and lift weight a lot.  Either way, you will feel stress and discomfort, regardless of external circumstances.

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8. 0

   EmpressFelicityposted 13 years ago

   Live your life through other people and give them all the responsibility for making you happy.  Get pissed off with them when they fail to anticipate your every need.

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9. 61

   kezan98posted 13 years ago

   This is a great list and made me laugh, mainly because I can relate to most of those points.  I actually think most people CAN relate to this list.

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10. 57

    wrenfrost56posted 13 years ago

    I agree great thread! Made me smile.

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    1. 60

       The Ropeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       We all have to have a few of these in our lives, just to keep the rest of us smiling and to give ourselves a reality check.

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11. 61

    Jo Woodwardposted 13 years ago

    Absolutely brilliant

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12. 70

    Choke Franticposted 13 years ago

    Darkside, you make a really good point here...

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    1. 71

       darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It was forwarded to me via email. But they are excellent points.

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13. 74

    Maddie Ruudposted 13 years ago

    After you've achieved said unhappiness, don't forget to blame me for it.

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14. 70

    Choke Franticposted 13 years ago

    Definitely. And so true.

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15. 61

    Green Lotusposted 13 years ago

    A true post from the Darkside. You are a master of sarcasm. Kudo's from Pollyanna.

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16. 60

    Sanaryaposted 13 years ago

    make sure the glass always remain half empty.
    think inside that tiny little box you managed to squizz yourself into.
    No one never think of you and what ever opinion you might have is without importance.
    The whole world is against you and no one will never understand you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    I think this will get me started on the way to break down and then I will add darkside list to it.
    
    just perfect

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17. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 13 years ago

    here we go - I feel it - jumping ship before it sinks

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18. 0

    Denno66posted 13 years ago

    This is the Titanic, yes?....

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    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Right at the point of the iceberg - run denno run

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