Hey, I Desperately Need Attention So I'm Posting About Gays

1. 74

   Shadesbreathposted 14 years ago

   Hi. I have an opinion about gay people and I really, really, really need validation because without the rush of endorphins I get from saying really stupid things that reap pages and pages of forum replies, I have nothing. So please argue with me and make me feel good about myself so that I don't have to look around me and see that I live with 6,000 cats, haven't shaved in months, and spend all my time drooling in front of my computer wearing no pants and rusting out my handy-dandy Cyberwarrior 500 Bedpan <snipped link>("the trolls best friend").

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      Uninvited Writerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      You really know that if they tried hard enough, gay men would want to have sex with women... B

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      Mark Knowlesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think this personal attack on the gay community belongs in the religion section. Please move it now!

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         Druid Dudeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         What attack? Don't know if I agree w/ uninvited, but your charges of "attack" at this moment, seem a little over reactive. Personally, I think you doth protest too much.

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            Uninvited Writerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Maybe you should check these people out:
            
            
            

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      habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Dear Shady,
      
      I'm alarmed by the number of felines you have, and frankly, I can't believe I haven't seen you on the "Animal Horders" TV show. You need HELP!! Pets are great, but they cannot replace close personal relationships with other humans. Also, it's unfair to the animals. You need to surrender 5,998 of your cats to local shelters and have the two cats you keep spayed or neutured.
      
      Turning your back on and isolating yourself from humanity can have disastrous effects. In fact, some studies suggest that such behavior can cause homosexuality. Get professional help before this happens to you!
      
      Your friend,
      
      Holle

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         Julie2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I can smell the ammonia from here! Woooooooo
         

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      PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You are obviously gay.  All persons who have a problem with homosexuals are closet homosexuals.  That is why you quit shaving.  You are resisting the compulsive neatness that your gayness demands (think Neil Patrick Harris).  Embrace your identity and you will no longer need the comfort of 6,000 cats.
      
      There.  I have solved all of your problems.

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         Druid Dudeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Can I have a problem with one gay person? Does that mean I'm gay? If I have a problem with terrorists, does that mean I'm secretly harboring terroristic tendencies? If I have a problem with my neighbor's dog? Slippery slope, that. That falls in the category of a "Logical Fallacy". If you aren't familiar with the spectrum of Logical Fallacies, google the term. It will definitely improve your ability to determine your stand from a more logical standing. Nothing worse than someone arguing in the forum with nothing but BS for ammo.

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            Pcunixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I believe it is unmanly to dislike dogs.  I believe that because of a former neighbor who I suspected of letting his dog leave poop on my lawn and front walk.  I suspected that because another neighbor told me that was what he was doing.
            
            One day I arrived home at the right time to catch him and his dog in the act.  I parked my car, got out and walked up to him as he tried to clean things up quickly and get out of my yard.
            
            I said something like "I really don't like you bringing your dog here to poop"
            
            Apparently he took that to mean that I don't like dogs. Well, that has some element of truth in it, but it gets complicated, so it isn't entirely right. I like well behaved dogs, though I think they should live in wide open country, not in the cities and suburbs.
            
            However, this gentleman, not withstanding that he was picking up dog poop from the middle of my lawn and we both knew that the only reason he was picking it up was because I caught him, not withstanding that any other human would have been embarrassed and hurried away, this gentlemen gave me a withering look and said "There is something WRONG with people who don't like dogs!"
            
            Oh well. I'm quite sure he meant that his dog was gay and thought this was the reason for my dislike. That had to be it, right?

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               habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               So...you like dogs but don't like dog poop, huh? If that makes you gay, I'm a lesbian! Great Dane poop is HUGE!!
               
               Hi, Laurel and Beth!

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                  Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  How about a gun-toting, gay great dane pooping on PC's lawn while reading furious sermons so powerful it changes everyone's sexuality? 
                  
                  Gays would be straight, and straights would be gay, and then we could all hate each other for the same yet completely different reasons.
                  
                  How fun would that be?

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            PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Ha!  You have nothing so you resort to personal attacks.
            
            And no, the theory only applies to closet homosexuals.  Why?  Because that's the only logical way to look at it, and if you don't believe me, then you obviously lack comprehension skills.

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      SirDentposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, it seems I have the best solution for getting attention.  I created a toilet for spammers and trollers.  of course if you want to purchase this toilet, it is for sale.  Just contact me through HubPages here.
      
      

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      *puts hands to face and shakes head*

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         Midnight Oilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You can download in real comfort here !

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      2. 74

         Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Sarcasm is your friend. It's sort of like the pain of a canker sore... at first it's painful, but then when you get to start poking at it with your tongue, it actually feels good.  Sort of.
         
         
         
         <3 Cags.  Happy New Year, dude.

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            Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            that's just gagsville.  (The tongue poking thing, that is.)

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            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Happy New Years Shades! I read and commented on your hub.

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            Druid Dudeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            got a lot of canker sores?

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               frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Tsk DD - here we are going back and forth over a very serious subject and there you are playing with yourself. Which can cause blindness. Beware. Don't walk around when you're occupied - you might lose an eye.

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            2. 74

               Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Used to get them as a kid. I think my head grew in in a weird way, so I was always biting my cheeks.  (LOL how's that for TMI and weird sharing, etc. LOL).
               
               Hey, fodder for writing later in life, I suppose.
               
               
               
               Hey, there's another hub in there somewhere. 

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      kenze8265posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hmmmmmm, i really hope your not a girl growing out your beard...i dont know many male cat lovers

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         Druid Dudeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Lion of Judah, and umpteen Pharoahs. I know many male cat lovers, I also know a few FEMALE Cat lovers. It's the sheep lovers that worry me. Responsible for some of those canker sores!

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2. 69

   Beth100posted 14 years ago

   You didn't grab my attention until you told me you have the Cyberwarrior 500 bed pan!!  Now, that's ONE AWESOME bed pan! 
   
   
   Happy New Year Shades!

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   Mark Ewbieposted 14 years ago

   Hi Shades, 
   
   happy to argue but you haven't said what your opinion is about gays?  Or do we just assume what your position is and then argue against it?
   
   In which case, er, I think you are mistaken.  It's not often I take immediate offence at what I read on here, but if that's the reaction you were looking for then sorry to disappoint and hope you have a Happy New Year.
   
   I hope I have made my position crystal clear.

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4. 77

   kirstenblogposted 14 years ago

   Like Mark Ewbie I have to take offence! Gay people were not made that way because of being denied peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as a kid. Lots of people with peanut allergies manage to grow up not gay, duh!

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5. 0

   EmpressFelicityposted 14 years ago

   But SB... don't you realise that being gay is a lifestyle choice?  And that with the right brainwashing, er, sorry - counselling, it's possible to cure gays of their nasty homosexual ways (and hence bring them back into God's favour, regardless of what they're like as a person)?
   
   Oh yeah, and sorry I forgot - nobody talked about homosexuality in the animal world a century ago, therefore it didn't exist.

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6. 37

   Spacey Graceyposted 14 years ago

   Mark - How's your gay pet hamster doing?
   
   Shades - seeing all the needy forum topics popping up this Christmas makes me think of my lovely Grandad who suffers from the terrible combination of 'too much time on his hands' + 'access to 24 hour news' which = randomly sitting down, sighing loudly and saying 'I am just disgusted about....x,y,z' - for x,y,z substitute whatever non-even BBC News 24 has reported on in the last 5 mintues. Quite tempted to hook him up with my laptop and dump him in the religious forum - he would have soooo much fun.

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      Mark Ewbieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the concern Spacey - he or she (how can you tell?) is OK now after a course of Dr.Frikkers excellent pills.  When I say Ok, strictly speaking he is now deceased, but at least our pain is over.
      
      Re. your Grandad I am also disgusted by pretty much everything especially Shadesbreaths attitude towards the gay community - whatever it is.

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7. 60

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   Your statement lacks credibility.  You have published hubs, which means you have not devoted 100% of your time to the important research that proves homosexuality is an affront to God.

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8. 80

   Midnight Oilposted 14 years ago

   We are often told not to feed the tolls, but how do you feed 6,000 cats every day.  You would't be left with much trolling time after giving muchies to that lot   And out of those 6,000 cats how many are gay ones? 
   
   And do female trolls use a shewee for their comfort breaks?  www.shewee.com/newstore/

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      Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      LOL @ that, btw.  Now I'm going to have to write another hub.
      
         
      
      Yeah, he sounds like the kind of guy who could have a ball doing the online equivalent of yelling at kids to "GET OFF MY LAWN" all day.  You should probably hook him up. I mean, hey, happiness is happiness right?

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         Spacey Graceyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Honestly about real life stuff he is the happiest most easy going guy, but I swear there is something in those news reports. It is the tone of voice they use to say 'Elton John has become a father' which makes him believe they said 'Elton John sold the souls of a thousand grandmothers, and ate one hundred baby kittens, just so he could get a baby to keep in his understairs cupboard).

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            Mark Ewbieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            The Elton John thing sparked a conversation about old gay sperm last night over drinks and nibbles.  It put me off my egg nog.

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               Spacey Graceyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               That actually made me laugh a lot and then gag a little - probably not the first time that has happened to you though I guess.

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                  Mark Ewbieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Lol.. I'm laughing and won't take this any further, it's a family forum.  Sort of.

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9. 74

   Shadesbreathposted 14 years ago

   LOL So this actually spawned a hub, so go have a look if you want. .
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Cyberwarrio … est-Friend

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      Mark Ewbieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Good stuff Shades - should I comment here or there?  Can't do both, not on these rates.

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         Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         It's your dime. I'm just killing time waiting for my headache to go away. That other gay post with the stupid "research" pissed me off so I wrote this. Then Beth's comment made me write that, so, it's all good. Just a morning's amusement.
         
         (Oh, and thank's Beth. )

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            frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            You write hubs as a means of morning amusement? Either you're (really) too young to have figured singular fun or you're too old and have given up trying to instigate some sort of response from Mrs Shades. I mean - even a smack up side the head is better than nuthin' right?
            
            Or are you gay and in denial so use alternative methods of sole morning amusement?
            
            Heyyyy maybe that's the real 'why' of this thread

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            1. 74

               Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               The volume of my hangover precludes, uh, response seeking. Probably precludes responsiveness at all at least until the Advil kick in. (sigh).  Too bad I didn't pick Quit Drinking as my New Year's resolution. Now I am stucking drinking all year until next year. Oh well.

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                  frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Too bad you're stucking with it. Funnily enough I put Quit Not Drinking Enough Vodka on my mental resolution list. I like to think I was sensible to hell and back when I thought mine up and rated it at #5. However I have a sneaking suspicion it's actually in the #1 spot. Oh well.
                  
                  Anyway - back on topic. You're so wrong about gays that you're moving into I'm gonna tell Maddie on you territory. I know I'm right because I've got all the facts to back me up. Only I'm not debating or nuthin' - just sayin' ... so I don't need to share squat.
                  
                  And if you push me enough I'll start quoting irrelevant text from the Book of Frog.

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                     Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     

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                     Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     I thought that according to the Book of Frog, anything you might do or say must be relevant with respect to the moment you say it. For instance, on the 659th page in the Book of Frog there is a Kobold that says, "Irrelevant I would not say, because that would show you my intentions." (And as we all know, the one who knows a Kobold's intentions can command the Kobold.)
                     
                     Anyway, what this teaches to me is that anything you do or say must be borne out of a certain knowledge that you already have. That knowledge must be either in the present or must be recalled by something that is in the present. So if the knowledge that made you say what you said is connected to the present, than what you said is also somehow connected to the present, since it is obviously connected to the knowledge. And so it must be relevant.

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                        frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        See Haunty this is just a fine example of one persons interpretation of the Good Book being taken out of context.
                        
                        "Irrelevant I would not say, because that would show you my intentions." means (and you can take it straight from the Mouth of Frog) this: (and ONLY this) my business is my own, bugger off and find someone else to gossip about
                        
                        Ohhhhh how I suffer mules glady (and a range of other hybrid creatures) whilst trying to get the Good Word across. Blessed be those that live in ignorance for they know not what they screw [up].
                        
                        Remember this Haunty - irrelevant is as irrelevant does. What's relevant to you may be irrelevant to me but then that's like saying your relevance is relegated below my irrelevance and that will result in you feeling anything but relevant in what otherwise may have been an irrelevant but elegant form of relative narrative.
                        
                        And of course we both know that we're then moving into the Seven Deadly Things territory. And we can't have that now - can we?
                        
                        So what's your take on this gay business then? What say you?

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                           Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                           I don't understand the OP, but since there was a hub linked, I went and read it.
                           
                           I have to say Cyberwarrior Manufacturing has terrible timing, because this would have made a terrific Christmas gift.
                           
                           Gays don't bother me. ll can live as long as he wishes.

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                              frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              I haven't seen it yet Haunty. Perhaps I will. I'd really enjoy owning a product aimed at Cyberwarriors that tick me off. It's got to have the power to (virtually) poke and prod, (virtually) shout out 'oh for crying out loud' and have an optional (virtual) kick up the jacksy feature.
                              
                              I'm supposing modern technology may well design one that allows the user (ME) to actually do all of the above. That would be nice *nods*

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            Beth100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            ha ha ha  just share the revenue with me!!! 
            
            
            (pssst.... I have another idea that has spawned off of this....  )

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               lorlie6posted 14 years agoin reply to this

               A hub, perchance?  Hey there, Beth!

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                  Beth100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Hey Lorlie!!  Happy New Year!!!
                  
                  Yea, if I get the chance, maybe I can pull it off BEFORE Shades does!!! 

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                     lorlie6posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Go for it!

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      Buffoonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Dude, you're up one buck for making me spit my beer all over my screen 

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10. 37

    Spacey Graceyposted 14 years ago

    My condolences Mark but at least he is no longer tormented by his er hmmm (whispered under breath) 'identity issues'.
    
    Make sure you get better references when you buy your next hamster - was very la of you lettng on of those into your house.

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11. 72

    lorlie6posted 14 years ago

    Shades, I am absolutely horrified by your thinking.  We, the HubPages community, are in agreement that you should be banned forever from our enlightened forums.
    See ya.

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12. 89

    wildernessposted 14 years ago

    Shades, it is certainly immoral and probably illegal to have 6000 gay cats living together.  Is such a marriage even legal in your state?  Have you provided for spiritual counseling for them?  Good questions, these, and I don't see any answers for them, hmmmm?

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       Midnight Oilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Has it been proven that all the cats are gay?  Do they adopt kittens? A kitten brought up by two gay parent cats will defiantly be confused and will need several sessions of psychiatric treatment.

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       habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       It's one male cat and 5,999 females. Has something to do with Shady's religion, I think.

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13. 76

    Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago

    Funny how there is an ad for Text dating at the top of this hub

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    WryLiltposted 14 years ago

    Tsk tsk, I strongly disapprove of the fact you're happy to disclose your feelings about homosexuals shades, but pretend that lesbians don't exist. You are so sexist!

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    Jule Romansposted 14 years ago

    Hey, don't worry about the gays- genetically they should self-eliminate, just like redheads.

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    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    How can anyone possibly argue that gays are not cyberwarriors?
    Everybody knows that!

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       frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Not arguing.
       
       So does that mean Cyberwarrioring is a choice then? And that it's a sin that can be cast out? Huh? HUH?

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    Kangaroo_Jaseposted 14 years ago

    .............................raises eyebrow

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    evvy_09posted 14 years ago

    I have to disagree with ya there Shades.  You must giv up ur evel ways and conver t to the Lord's way off live. Rember God loves u.
    
    
    And I thought you have 8,000 cats? Is it because they are all gay and can't reproduce? You know if you were more dominant and embraced the Lord and ate peanut butter, you wouldn't  have any gay dogs. And make sure you drive a stick shift car.  But don't take my opinion.  I did find the time to actually have a profile picture and do real research for my opinions.

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       Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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          evvy_09posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          
          
          Mine's bigger.  Does that make me more dominant?  
          Am I gay then?

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    tlpoagueposted 14 years ago

    I thought to be gay was to be *happy*
    HMMM, I must have missed a memo somewhere.
    Where can a person purchase that nifty toilet? I need one of those for my computer addicts I know.

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20. 75

    brimancandyposted 14 years ago

    Hey Shadesbreath, I actually found your post kind of funny. One thing that gay people can do is have the courage to laugh at themselves. But, I'm sure that your post had more to do with the zillion or so gay posts, that lead to 2 zillion hate and religious reply posts. As if we had the time to read them all.
    
    So, I am I right by assuming that you submitted this post to prove your point, that gay posts get more attention at hubpages then something esle that you would rather talk about? If so, what is it? Or, is there already some post that you submitted that nobody has a reply for? So, you are going by what you think people want to hear?
    
    At any rate, I would be much happier to reply to all the gay oriented posts, then the avalanche of why god hates everyone I don't approve of posts. Oh, and by the way, I counted my cats, and at last count I had zero. I did have two but they sadly died a few years ago. If I get to 6,000 I'll let you know, they need to be brave cats though to put up with my 2,000 dogs, and a breeding bull. The worst kind too! LOL!

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    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    LOL brimancandy.
    A bredding bull, eh?
    Is he gay?

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       Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LOL.... if he's just, uh, ... what's the omnivorous equivalent in sexuality... because, well, if his breeding bull is, omnisexual (that must be it), then those cats are in deep, deep trouble. One pump and it's goodbye... gay or straight.

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

    ...not fair...you forgot about god and guns...why do the gays get all the attenshun?

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    lorlie6posted 14 years ago

    Oh, jeeze, SOH.  Okay then, guns in the hands of gays are...godless.

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       SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       ...thanks....i feel much better....i was thinking tho....gays with big guns luv god...or god loves gays and guns...or just gays, guns and god....

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          habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I know a gay guy with lots of guns, and he loves God. Anything's possible!

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             Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Wayne LaPierre is gay?  Huh, who knew?

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                habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Nah, he just sounds gay.

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             Castlepalomaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Gays, guns and one god, OH MY!!!.
             
             I'm feeling a little unlimited.

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    lorlie6posted 14 years ago

    Gays are gutsy in their god-fearing ways.  But when they bring out those goofy guns, watch out!

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    Cheeky Girlposted 14 years ago

    I am amazed at how many people have responded to this forum post already. Someone emailed me and said my christmas hat is gay. Aaaaaw! It was only photoshopped! LOL!

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