now, who told you that?!? 
i know, i know.... i'm trying, i really am but not so easy. my rock is going to disappear off the face of the earth and it will be me and my kids. that's it. no one but us 6. scares me to death the thought that he won't be around. ever. gawd, if i could trade places with him, i would. it's not fair and yes, i know, life isn't meant to be fair. but just once, just once, i wish it was. maybe a miracle will happen. i'm praying for one. it's hard to keep it away from our kids. to keep strong and smiling, laughing, calm when we know what is happening. when we know that the inevitable is arriving. i survived losing my son, but this time... i don't know if i will make it.
thanks steven. ur there for me too. always.
gtg....need more kleenex.....
and the older i get, the more i wish i lived life to it's fullest because we don't live forever. 