I Am In Shock!

1. 38

   napetvposted 12 years ago

   I became a fan of a new Hubber, followed, and left some short, innocuous fan mail. Something like "She really knows about SEO..."
   
   Ready for this...She denied the fan mail?!? What in the world. Yes, let me add, I was her 3rd fan, and possibly her 1st fan mail.
   
   Now what kind of ingrate pulls that kind of s***?
   
   I could have taken the high road, let it roll off my back. No. I promptly went and "defanned" her. It felt good, but I will never know why she denied my fan mail.
   
   Has anybody else had a similar occurrence of complete ingratitude and actually bad behavior even?
   
   P.S. This make not effect my incident's pertinacity, but she was British.

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      tobey100posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I can think of no valid reason to reject fan mail unless it's inappropriate which yours wasn't.  All I can think of is, being British, she might not appreciate the concept of fan mail.  Since the Beatles they haven't really had any occasion to use the term 'fan'.

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         Trish_Mposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Is the impolite behaviour of one member a good reason to be negative towards all British people, I wonder??

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            tobey100posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Sorry.  Didn't mean to come across as offending the British people.  My intention was to offend the British Government.

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               2uesdayposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Re/ insulting the Government, maybe that is almost impossible to do. They are so good at insulting the opposite side in Parliament. Anyway it seems the only opinions politicians really care about is what the press think of them or might say about them.
               
               BTW If someone says words to the effect of -  I am following you so follow me, I tend to ignore that type of fan mail.

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                  tobey100posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Same here.  Garnering fans by wighting is one thing.  Begging or 'swapping spit' as my youngest says is quite another.  On a serious note, I love Europeans!  Have to.  I married a Swede.

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               Kathryn LJposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Oh you can't insult that lot, we try it all the time and it's water of a ducks back.  Our illustrious leader left his baby in a pub, (he thought somebody else was taking care of it, apparently loads of people do it). Huh?  Press had a field day and he's still swanning around being a complete moron.  If a whole nation are rude about him what chance do you have?  I'm a British ex-pat by the way

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      2. 68

         Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

           Yeah Right!!
         
         They know what 'Groupies' are!
         
         ____________________________
         
         For me, I think the rudest I have been treated on this site in a similar way was recently, when I wished someone All the Best and Get Well Soon.. after they had stated in a hub that they had just come through an operation.
         They just completely ignored my (and another's) genuine wishes and continued to communicate with others!  
         
         So... I got their message loud and clear and in return, my message is... "if you read this Please Delete my post on your hub... because the value of it's true meaning was lost in your empty reply!"

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      3. 86

         mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Sorry, but as a British person I can only say this statement is utter rubbish. I have never heard of this being a problem before with British Hubbers, and it could just as easily have happened with an American, a Russian, a Frenchman, or in fact any other nationality of Hubber. To make out it is to do with a nationality  is ludicrous!

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      Trish_Mposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I'm afraid that I have.
      
      I won't go into details, but I was a fan of another member, and I encouraged others to read his work, but, sadly and inexplicably, he made completely untrue accusations against me, and insulted me several times, until HP finally dealt with the matter.
      
      As you say, a complete shock, but that's life on the 'WWW', I suppose.

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      1. 68

         Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Wow.... what a terrible version of the story!
         
         Of course you surely ensured that you made a whole raft of derogatory remarks rubbishing that party and his work.. Surely?   ON HIS HUB!!
         
         I don't believe the other party appreciated the flattery attached to the 'whatever' similarity to his previously published work!   
         I am well aware that that particular party has had his ideas and content style 'copied' by many 'hubbers' and others... many of whom followed him - perhaps for that very reason!
         
         Interesting result though... but it appears from your post here that it still 'smarts' huh?

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   3. 67

      Glenn Stokposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe it's possible that she just might not have moderated her fan mail yet? You did say that it's her first fan mail. Maybe she doesn't know how to moderate yet, since she is new here.  I never knew if we get a notification when our fan mail is denied.  I'm curious now. Did you get such a notification?

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      EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, 'cos all British people are Hollywood cartoon villains who delight in pulling the wings off flies and denying people's fan mail. /sarcasm

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      CMHypnoposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      All hubbers have the right to either accept or deny fan mail that is why the feature is there - hubbers follow and unfollow each other all the time.
      
      Also, there are quite a few of us British hubbers around who might just think you are a bit rude for making comments like 'but she is British

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      Judi Beeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe "she" was annoyed because "she" was a "he"? - just a thought

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         kthix10posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         That would make me deny it - if the she really was a he

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      christin53posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe because she was new she didn't understand what fan mail is or even where to find it. It took me a couple of weeks to find my way around.  But then I am British!

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         Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Well, you are excused then.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Don't take it personal. There are many other hubbers to follow!

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   9. 0

      lovedoctor926posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hi,
      
      I think she might have taken it the wrong way. or maybe she didn't understand what it was like christin53 says.

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   10. 0

       klarawieckposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I've clicked on all sorts of wrong buttons before. Maybe she's like me?

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   11. 60

       JBrumettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Maybe she hit the wrong button.  =-P

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   12. 77

       cloverleaffarmposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I've never denied fan mail. Why would you do that? I don't know if anyone has ever denied mine. I never really paid much attention to that. Silly human.

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       Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       My idea is that she may have not moderated her fanmail. There is no way to know if she denied it without she stating that. If she is new she may not know how to moderate the fan mail just yet. Why would a new person deny a compliment? Makes no sense.

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2. 70

   Shanna11posted 12 years ago

   That's rather odd. I love fan mail. Almost too much, in fact.....

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3. 88

   aa liteposted 12 years ago

   If she is new to HubPages, which by the sound of things she might be, perhaps she does not understand the concept of following, fans and fanmail.  Some people are wary of connecting with people online, perhaps she tought you were a stalker or a spammer.

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   1. 70

      Shanna11posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Or maybe she thought SEO was a euphemism for something creepy....
      
      Most likely not, but it's a possibility.

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         Wesley Meachamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         What could be creepy about saying something like, "she really knows her SEO.....?"
         
         Okay, never mind.

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            Bedbugabscondposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Maybe she thinks SEO means "Staling every octopus" and in that case it would be very creepy!

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               silverstararrowposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               LOL!

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4. 67

   relacheposted 12 years ago

   I deny fan mail when it includes statements asking me to follow the person back or to take a look at their Hubs.  And recently I went through all of my fan mail, back to the dawn of fan mail, and deleted any messages from users who show as now being banned.

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      Bedbugabscondposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That is a good idea. How can you tell they are banned? By going to their page and seeing the message, or is there an easier way to tell. That must have taken you some time!

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         relacheposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         The only way to tell is to look at their profile, and I went through each and every one.  I did it a chunk at a time over a few days so it wasn't too bad, but it felt right to remove those messages.

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      Glenn Stokposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I do that with comments in hubs too. HubPages doesn't report a broken link when a Hubber is banned. So I need to review comments from time to time by following the link back to their profile. Relache has a good point, I need to do that with my fan mail too.

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         Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Glen I thought the link automatically was removed when a hubber leaves HP. I have tried clicking on such links and they are no follow so I leave the comments as visitor links. But removing them is something to think about.

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      Marcy Goodfleischposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Relache - how do you find which users are banned from the fanmail info?  Not sure you'll see, but thought I'd ask

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      1. 67

         Glenn Stokposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         When you click to their profile, it will say, "This Hubber has been banned from HubPages."

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      KeithTaxposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      What a waste of time.

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   5. 95

      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's a great idea Relache. I have unfollowed banned people but haven't deleted their fan mail. Thanks for the idea. I too hate when someone leaves a fan mail and ask me to follow them, check out their hubs or leave a link.

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5. 60

   janesixposted 12 years ago

   In shock?
   
   Oh please. Give me a break.
   
   Why do some people get so completely overly dramatic about inconsequential nonsense?
   
   Who cares.

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   1. 38

      napetvposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I literally went into shock because of this.
      
      No. Actually, I thought my over-dramatization of a forum title, would juxtapose nicely next to a rather mundane question.
      It's called sarcasm, look it up.
      
      BTW- You got overly worked up over my little post.
      The same post detailing the situation which you deemed inconsequential. Yet you had to comment. This makes you "some people" like me.
      
      Hey friend!

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         janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         *yawn*
         
         Drama queen.

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         TamCorposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Good one...nice to see someone with a sense of humor! 
         
         I have to agree with the others who think that maybe it was done by accident, being a newbie and all...

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            napetvposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            thx. That made me smile. I'm done here. Bye...

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6. 98

   Bedbugabscondposted 12 years ago

   Yeah, maybe he or she doesn't understand fan mail. Or maybe, she doesn't want it showing on her profile and doesn't know you can turn it off.

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7. 65

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   There's always the thing, too, about hitting the wrong button by accident - especially for someone who's new and hasn't run into enough "accidents" to know to slow down.  Some accidents can be undone.  Some can't.

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      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I remember years ago, quoting those exact words very loudly, as my future father-in-law loaded his shotgun and talked about accidents Lisa! 

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8. 94

   Daughter Of Maatposted 12 years ago

   My initial reaction was what if she accidently hit the wrong button, they are pretty close to each other!
   
   But I have no idea why anyone would deny fan mail, aside from the obvious "I followed you, you follow me" fan mail.
   
   I love hearing from my "fans." Every time I read a piece of fan mail I smile. Someone took the time to send me a message saying they liked my work and for me it's greatly appreciated.
   
   I won't deny your fan mail if you send me some lol tee hee hee

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9. 60

   Mark Ewbieposted 12 years ago

   I reject quite a lot of fan mail.  If I don't think it is genuine, or if it doesn't fit with the messages I want to show on my feed - I don't bother with it.  Yes, it's a bit rude.  No, I don't lose any sleep over it.
   
   I admit playing the look at me and love me game for the first part of my 'career' - now I just want money.

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10. 59

    MelissaBarrettposted 12 years ago

    Wow... you shock easily.  If denied fan mail shocks you, you would likely faint dead away at any of my family dinners. Seriously though I'm going with wrong button by mistake.

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       Xenonlitposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I would think wrong button too, except for the "SEO" word, which is not full of meaning and can be viewed as spam like.

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11. 69

    2uesdayposted 12 years ago

    Queen Victoria was supposed to have said "We are not amused."
    
    Was that in response to a similar incident?

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12. 61

    Jason Menayanposted 12 years ago

    When you post fan mail, it's not shown by default until the recipient explicitly accepts it. Is it possible she just hasn't approved your fan mail yet?

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       napetvposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       No,It actually said "denied"
       
       I feel foolish for asking this question now. I always thought my
       type of humor is misinterpreted on black and white 1080p or whatnot.
       Like mentioning British people. More of an attempt at self-effacing humor; portraying myself as an ignorant American, scared of all the Brits he's never met.
       
       Joke is on me for trying to joke with the humorless(mostly anyway)

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          TamCorposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I wouldn't take the view of ONE person as being the view of all of us--I "got" it, and I'm sure others did, too!

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13. 65

    SandyMcCollumposted 12 years ago

    Complete ingratitude, hmmm.... do you think they should be thankful for your work? As for being rude, why is it rude? She has complete freedom to fan whom she wants, same as you. Just because you fan her it doesn't mean she must fan you as well; only fan those whose writing touches you in some way. It's okay if your writing doesn't touch her or isn't loved by someone, there are always others that will love it. I say she hit the wrong key, but now you've un-fanned her, so she may be offended.
    
    What comes around goes around, don't forget, while you're unfanning people.

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       mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I don't think he was worried about her not 'fanning' him back, it was the fact she apparently denied his fan mail as if it was offensive in some way.
       
       I am with many here who think this could be an accidental denial of fan mail, or someone who doesn't understand what SEO actually stands for so denied the fan mail in ignorance.

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14. 0

    Will Apseposted 12 years ago

    I don't know who the hubber was but it was entirely up to her to accept or reject the fan mail, for any reason at all, weird or worthy.
    
    One of the pleasures of working here is that our accounts are our accounts.
    
    It might have been a relative of WriteAngled, of course. And she might have noticed your 'Ceratin Hubs' page.

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    Redberry Skyposted 12 years ago

    Personally, I'm far too busy going to tea with the Queen to moderate fan mail.  Not to mention all those spying missions for the Home Office, and car chases in black Aston Martins, all while I'm wearing mini-skirts and knee length boots.  Such is the life of the average British subject. Busy busy busy. Sigh.

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    silverstararrowposted 12 years ago

    Um, maybe she did actually press the wrong button. The first fanmail is generally a cause for excitment, not offence.
    
    I cannot be certain how she could misinterpret your message. Anyway, some people are difficult to figure out. Don't worry too much about it. As someone mentioned, it's all part of the 'WWW' world.

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17. 0

    Vincent Mooreposted 12 years ago

    Quite possibly she clicked the wrong button accidentally. It happens, but if she was defanned, maybe she could have questioned it. Also being new could have caused her to make an error. And pointing out that she was British? what the heck does that have to do with it? You may have acted in haste my friend. LOLLLL

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       kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       good point Vincent

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18. 69

    2uesdayposted 12 years ago

    I suppose it narrows the field of likely suspects down a bit.
    
    We do have such odd ways you know and we have been this way for so long that it is really difficult for us to change. Oh wait, maybe that is not a trait of the British but the English. Anyone for afternoon tea and a game of croquet? Shall I make the cucumber sandwiches or go to the red telephone box at the end of the street and invite the guests?

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19. 38

    napetvposted 12 years ago

    yep yep. I am a total moron, with no clue.

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20. 70

    melbelposted 12 years ago

    This might seem weird, but maybe it's the SEO thing. She may be a very great writer or SEO person, but there are a lot of self-titled "Gurus" out there. Maybe she wants to avoid the "SEO writer" cliche.
    
    I helped a company out with their website a few years ago because it was not search engine friendly. They put a fabulous write-up on my LinkedIn page and I have it set to hidden. While I totally appreciate the compliment, I don't want people to think that I've given myself the title of "SEO guru extraordinaire" because I reallllllly don't think that's an accurate picture of me. The company's website just needed a little help.
    
    But yeah, your comment seems innocent. I'm just trying to figure out a legit reason someone would deny it. A bit of a stretch because one little mention of SEO shouldn't hurt.
    
    Maybe she accidentally denied it. Or maybe she thinks you're kind of cute and her super jealous husband might think there's something between you because of your comment. (You know those crazy jealous types.)
    
    Or maybe she thinks she's terrible at SEO and didn't deserve such a nice compliment.
    
    

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       Bedbugabscondposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Mel, you make a good point. Since Google changes what it wants so often, it is difficult for anyone to take the label SEO Guru. There are guys out there who sell expensive programs because they are self proclaimed SEO Gurus, and theit advice doesn't work because Google changes things up so often.

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    Kangaroo_Jaseposted 12 years ago

    Treat it for the instance it happened and move forward. I have two hubs that are ***cking awesome, but the traffic on them is shite, complete shite. Do I have heaps of comments on them? No. Are they in the top ranking for SEO? no. I KNOW they are awesome hubs, even if other people don't give a rats arse.
    
    You cannot please some people some of the time and the best suggestion is not to take things personal.
    
    The moment you do you won't last long with this site or similar ones. Write it off and move forward. There are more important concerns anyway

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    Trish_Mposted 12 years ago

    Hi
    
    Just to clarify, is 'defanning' the same as 'unfollowing'?

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       mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, that is correct. On HP followers used to be called fans, but then it was changed to followers which many felt implied a kind of creepy stalkerish person shuffling around after them like some kind of zombie. Unfortunately HP stuck with their decision and fans became officially known as followers instead.

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          agvulpesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I wonder why they did not change 'fan mail' to 'follower mail' ?

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             mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Good question indeed.

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23. 0

    klarawieckposted 12 years ago

    I have to admit that given the silly comments I leave for fan mail, I wouldn't be surprised if people rejected them. I wouldn't mind either. No big deal.

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    Rafiniposted 12 years ago

    sounds like a sock puppet who doesn't want fan mail.  maybe you were too quick to judge?  (just an option, no offense intended)

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