Yep, it's difficult to convey humor on the internet. It's really easy for people to misinterpret sarcasm for being an ass. I get that a lot. Maybe I just really am an ass and only think I'm funny. Who knows?
The best thing about writing is that we get critics because they tell us if were wrong or right, it might not be what we want to hear but it helps us in other ways such as topics to avoid or research more lol
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people.
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshipers. 9. Be considerate, rearrange their altar so it looks neat. 8. Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight and say, "No need to waste a good candle!" 7. Pick up their gems for a closer look. 6. Witness to them about the "true religion." 5. Sharpen their dull black-handled knife. 4. Untie the knots in their cord. 3. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look. 2. Play card games with their tarot cards. 1. Ask them if they are Satan worshipers.
Oh I have been accused of so many things. I don't have an alter, but my kids visited and rearranged my whole kitchen. Does that count? I can't reach anything. I am the shortest in the family. And the only one who uses the kitchen.
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