Why do people have children?
it costs a fortune to raise them, they are often a source of conflict for the parents....why do people continue to have children? Do they think its some sort of step you need to take after you get married?
I'll tell you why I had mine.
I had the first one because I felt that if I got to the end of my life and did not have kids, I probably would regret missing that experience.
I had the second one so that each of my children would have the experience of having a sibling and so that, hopefully, they could take care of each other and give me and my wife a break.
Generally, we are physically wired and primitively motivated to procreate. If we weren't, we would be extinct by now. Yes, children are expensive, but if you didn't have children, you would just spend that extra money on something else, so really, it all evens out.
Conflict is prevalent in any human relationship, and children/parent relationships can be more so only because of the deep and undying love a parent feels for their child. And being the giver and also being the recipient of such love is priceless and no conflict could make it any less so. That's the pay-off (in the words of Dr. Phil)
Often, people will think that having children is the next step to getting married, but more often, it is our bodies that speak to us. Our brains, our hearts and our bodies desire to make children with the one we love and it is an incredible feeling to know that your childs veins run with the blood of you both.
Having children is worth it.
I can only answer for myself, and I gave birth to my three children decades ago, before the costs of rearing them became astronomical.
I don't think it is a mandated step to take after marriage. Some couples don't desire to have children at all, and that is their right. It's preferable, I believe, for people who do not feel maternal or paternal to avoid bringing children into the world if they would not be devoted and competent parents.
As for myself (which is how I began this comment), I had a strong desire for children and loved them dearly when they were born and while bringing them up. Even though they are adults (and either middle-aged or nearing that point), I still want what is best for them, worry about them--something that doesn't automatically end once they become grownups--and feel proud of them. It wasn't that I wanted to found a "dynasty", but simply that I had a maternal urge that would not be denied. I'm glad that I had my children.
On the other hand, with the turmoil and uncertainty currently prevalent in the world, if I were a young person contemplating a family, I might hesitate. It is frightening to think what babies born in 2011 might be subjected to in the future. Climate warming changes, wars all over the globe, economic uncertainty, rampant crime and terrorism...all these would be factored into a decision. It's a lot to take into consideration.
Makes me glad my children were born "way back then." Now I worry about the future of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
All my life I've wanted children. I wanted to have at least 27 children. Having children was a burning need for me.
My husband and I had issues with infertility and were only able to have one, and the fact that he exists still baffles doctors. Even knowing I can't have another, I still have a burning need for more...and more.....and more.
That's funny! Parental disagreements about rules and discipline, etc. have been causes of conflict at times in my household, but it's worth it! And the funds always work out.
I love being able to look down at the little extensions of myself. I can't lie; a part of me wanted to see what my offspring would look like, and it was fun to come up with their names. I love knowing we are continuing our family name. I occasionally feel that urge to have more children, and felt it when I had my 2nd child, so it must be a God-ordained purpose for my life.
Most importantly, my husband and I hope to raise children that will make positive contributions to society. Prayerfully, their values and goals and eventual actions will make positive changes in this world. I do worry about my children's future with the economy and evilness in this world today.
I love the companionship, laughs, affection, and appreciation my children offer/show me as well. Family members teach everyone involved so many social skills and lessons. My husband and I learn so much regularly about patience and effectively interacting with others. My children learn the most (because of their lack of experiences) about dealing with others, different personalities and conflicts.
I absolutely love the answer ravenlt04 gave…it pretty much sums up my feelings about why I had and thoroughly enjoy my two children.The companionship, laughs, affection, appreciation, and watching them grow and evolve into their own definitely trumps any stress or anguish that comes along with being a parent.
Well think about this. If everyone were to stop having children, mankind would die out. That would be a pretty big reason to reproduce.
But as far as personal reasons go, children are a blessing, no matter how troublesome they are, and it is a good feeling to have someone to depend on you. It is a feeling that you can't understand until you have children yourself.
The Word of God tells us that, "Behold, children are a hertiage from the lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward" Psalms 127:3.
People have children for many reasons. Such reasons may be religious; pressure from parents, friends & socieiy; to make their particular imprint; old age insurance; & simply because they want to. read more
by H C Palting 11 months ago
Would you have children if you had it to do all over again?I'm single and constantly being told I should have kids, blah, blah, blah. I don't want children, period. I want to do a lot of things in life and having children simply is not one of them. Shockingly, I had a friend admit that if she had...
by David Livermore 7 months ago
Is it ok that I don't want to have children?Considering my age I have realized that I won't have children. Is that ok? I know this always disappointed my mother (who is now deceased), but the last couple of years I feel guilty I haven't had a child and probably won't have a child. ...
by Victoria Lynn 7 months ago
What are your thoughts about not having children?So many people want to have children, and they question those couples as to when they are going to have children? Are they really asking "when not?" or why not?
by ii3rittles 5 years ago
Is it wrong to not want to have kids?My husband and I have recently decided that we may not want kids at all.This is for reasons of heath, the way the world is heading, financially, spiritually and we both share the same patients issues. So is it wrong for us to not want to have them? We have cats...
by L a d y f a c e 4 years ago
What is your ideal maximum age for having children? At what age would you say 'no'?
by M. T. Dremer 22 months ago
If you chose not to have children, do you regret it?This question is mostly aimed at adults who decided not to have children (whether because of infertility fatigue or personal preference) but I invite others who don't fit perfectly into the niche to share their thoughts as well.
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|