To Spank or not to Spank that is the question?

1. 60

   Frugal Fannyposted 15 years ago

   Further.... I think there are lot of people out there today who could have benefitted from some stricter discipline as a child, to instill in them some manners and some respect for others.

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   Cagsilposted 15 years ago

   The problem comes from the 'advocate' groups who are screaming about children's rights. It comes and stems from them. Since, no one is standing up to them....parents are getting restricted.

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   mistywildposted 15 years ago

   spank 'em if thy're being rotten.

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   caravalhophotoposted 15 years ago

   I got my bum beat, my kids got a swat on the bum and I believe there are some kids out there that need to have their bums beat, especially the disrespect they show to their parents.  I did not disrect my Grandparents, parents and my children and grand children never make me speak twice, they take me seriosly, so the spankings in my home our sparce.  One good swat could change a childs perspective quickly on who the parent is!

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   Alice Owenposted 15 years ago

   Oh well the answer is simple. Don't spank. At all. Never.
   How can you expect a child to express his feelings, good or bad, with words when you express yours with "violence" ? No way. It really brings the wrong message, and it doesn't teach self control. We're often tempted to say "come on, it's ok, it's just to make him understand what it does when he hits his sister" or "that way he'll understand, it's the only way I assure you!". This is just so wrong.
   
   Of course we're not born parents and having the right communication skills isn't a gift but I think it's worth the effort. Kids are sponges, they imitate, they absorb, they remember.
   
   "Be the change you want to see in others", remember ?
   
   Sorry, I may be a bit harsh here but I think it's terribly wrong to spank. And it's not just "it doesn't teach anything", it's more "it teaches the wrong thing" !

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   h.a.borcichposted 15 years ago

   I disciplined my son with spankings when appropriate. He also had time outs and was grounded when needed. He is 26 and has thanked me for being a tough Mom.
   
   Spankings become something else when the adult is fueled by anger rather than upholding a well understood standard.
   
   Just my thoughts

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      KimberlyKYposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      There is a canyon between a spanking and a beating. Spanking is done out of love to correct a child when all else has failed (every child has a different response level to different types of discipline).....beating a child is never justified. THAT is an example of a parent's inadequacy to parent and allow anger to guide their actions.
      
      Parents who BEAT probably were beaten, parents who spank were more than likely raised in a loving home where every action had an equal and opposite reaction.
      
      What exactly is 'Good Parenting'? Does that not fall into the category of deciding when to introduce spiritual beliefs and then what Church is the best to attend? Or, how early should a child begin to potty train and by what means? Does it not also fall into the category of whose values should be taught - the parent's or that of the world?
      
      Dr. Benjamin Spock advocated good discipline, but not beatings of old with a leather strap, while in the late 1920's, Dr. James B. Watson warned against maternal love, stating "...never hug or kiss your children. Never allow them to sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead before you say goodnight."
      
      Who is correct? Depending on how a person is brought up, the answer will be with one or the other, a combination of both, or somewhere in between.
      
      Parenting is a private matter. Parenting is a personal matter. You may be appalled at my spanking, while I may be appalled at your inaction if your child is misbehaving. We all have our opinons, whether we have children or not - but one thing is certain - a spanking is no where near a beating when done in love, not anger.

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         Friendlywordposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Every day we see the result of people who dont Spank or dicipline their child. How do you justify your child cursing you out or falling on the ground kicking and screaming in public? What do you do in that situation? Are you going to tell the children I see doing that almost everyday is fine? Please help me understand. It is the rest of us that suffer when your monter is released unto the public.

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            KimberlyKYposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            "Every day we see the result of people who dont Spank or dicipline their child. How do you justify your child cursing you out or falling on the ground kicking and screaming in public? What do you do in that situation? Are you going to tell the children I see doing that almost everyday is fine? Please help me understand. It is the rest of us that suffer when your monter is released unto the public."
            
            I am in total agreement with you. There is no justification for an out of contrtol child - other than to say there is a parent behind them who has failed to parent, thus failing the child.
            
            We do suffer, as a society, from the children who have no discipline. These children grow up to be adults who bully, abuse and whine their way through life. They are often the ones at the helm of office conflict, gossip which truly hurts others, and behind total disrespect for life itself and the law of the land.
            
            Spanking is not the only form of discipline. If you don't spank - fine, that is a parent's perrogitive - but for Pete's sake - do something! There is nothing worse than being in a store and listening to a child throwing a temper tantrum while mom says 'clam down, honey', 'please stop', 'you need to settle down'...and on and on and on......
            
            Taking no action at all is sending a message to the child that their behaviour is acceptable. As they grow older, however, they begin to discover life is hard. Such behaviour is not allowed in school - but it is seen everyday as children with no discipline cause class disruption and cause others to suffer while trying do learn......imagine such behaviour in the workplace - what will their employer do if such actions are allowed? Who do you believe is at the core of office gossip? Who finds it hard to hold a job? Who repeatedly blames everyone else for their lot in life?
            
            There is no excuse for parents to NOT take action to guide, train and discipline their children. There is also no excuse for a parent to use violence toward their child. Again - a swat on the behind, a 'Biblical' spaking' is not a violent act. According to Mr. Webster.....
            
            " Main Entry: vi·o·lence
            Pronunciation: \ˈvī-lən(t)s, ˈvī-ə-\
            Function: noun
            Date: 14th century
            1 a : exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse (as in warfare effecting illegal entry into a house) b : an instance of violent treatment or procedure
            2 : injury by or as if by distortion, infringement, or profanation : outrage
            3 a : intense, turbulent, or furious and often destructive action or force  b : vehement feeling or expression : fervor; also : an instance of such action or feeling c : a clashing or jarring quality : discordance
            4 : undue alteration (as of wording or sense in editing a text)"
            
            A spanking from a loving parent attempting to correct and/or discipline a child does not fall into this category. Any parent using physical force to injure or abuse needs to be stopped. However, one cannot assume every parent who spanks is doing this. If injury by outrage is present - THAT is a beating - not a spanking.
            
            For those who do not spank, and choose to use other forms of discipline that WORKS - great. As long as it works. We as parents must discover what works for OUR child. Time-outs are great if you can convince a small strong-willed child to stay seated for a certain period of time and ensure they understand why they are sitting. Grounding or taking away prized possesions are great - if it works and they understand, instead of going into a tantrum and destroying things around them because they are angry.
            
            Children must be taught to repsect not only those around them, but themselves as well. If they have no respect for themselves, they will have no respect for anything or anyone around them, and I truly feel sorry for the child as they become adults.
            
            In the meantime, if you have a child who is out of control, it behooves you to find some type of discipline that works. Do not assume the problem will correct itself, and realize - if you do not have control of your toddler, you will not have control of your teenager.
            
            As to the point of the television shows where a stranger comes in and changes behaviour of a child within a week or so.....if you notice, the parents do the most changing - causing the child to change. Most of these parents have no plan of discipline in place at all to begin with, and once the third party comes in and points that out, suggests changes and can get the parent to stick with them, the child changes behaviour. Additionally - kids ALWAYS behave differently for someone other than their parents. And they generally behave differently for one parent than the other. Usually, one parent means playtime and the other means discipline. That seems to be a universal consequence of family life. Parents being on the same page, however, envoke change and control when that is the goal.
            
            I do remember an episode of 'SuperNanny'....the small children refused discipline, would not sleep in their own beds, would not sit and eat with manners at the table....Nanny came in, gave suggestions and direction...mom refused to follow. One night, as the children had fallen alseep comfortably in their own beds, much to the pleasure and relief of the father, mom went in, picked them up one by one and carried these children back into her bed. SHE refused to change. Parents who refuse to change and bring change to out of control children need help.
            
            I would lay odds this mom never got a spanking or was taught any discipline as a child...OR she is one who, unfortunately, experienced VIOLENCE - not love in discipline. There is a difference.

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7. 59

   sannyasinmanposted 15 years ago

   Violence towards children can never be justified, and only breeds more violence.
   - You can't make the child obey with quiet words so you shout
   - You can't make the child obey by shouting, so you smack him/her
   - You can't make the child obey by smacking, so he/she gets a good hiding
   Where does it stop?
   
   If you need to use violence of any kind on a child, then this is a reflection on the parents inadequacy as a parent and not the child.
   
   It would be more appropriate for the parent to educate him/herself in "good parenting", than to spank or beat a child.
   
   And it is a viscious circle. Parents who beat their children were probably beaten themselves, and so continue the tradition.

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8. 0

   shazwellynposted 15 years ago

   Whatever you will do will be wrong!  check out my hub on blame it on the parents - scapegoats in UK society.
   
   x

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9. 59

   sannyasinmanposted 15 years ago

   There is no such thing as violence in love.
   There are several TV programmes in Europe (maybe US as well?) at present, where child psychologists go into the homes of completely unmanageable children, and in a matter of weeks turn the children around - with no physical discipline of any kind. The transformation in these children (who were completely uncontrollable before) is quite remarkable.
   
   The only difference is that the psychologists have been trained to understand children's needs, and in good parenting techniques, and the parents have not. This is proof by example that spanking and beating is not necessary. Train the parents and spare the children.

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    tzaddik21posted 15 years ago

    I am currently taking Childhood Development 101. I just turned in a assignment asking this same question. It asked how were we disciplined growing up, do we have those same views when disciplining our own children, and how has the discipline effected us. According to my childhood development book, spankings can cause children to developed some serious issues. This assignment helped me consider my beliefs in spankings. I feel like the book offered some good alternatives such as time outs which is supposed to be very effective. or Induction which is a form of discipline involves the parent talking to the child to help them understand why the behavior was wrong.

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       ConnorsMom2010posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Time outs are definitely MORE effective sometimes.. I was the kind of kid that didn't care what my mother did, she tried everything, popping me on the butt, making me write sentences, taking away toys or stereos... I don't think it matters to some children what you do.. I just did it anyway and didn't mind the consequences... I can't tell you why because I can't remember a single thing from back then that was negative... but it depends on the child.. some kids can be told not to do something and they don't do it again, others need a pop on the tush, and others need a timeout in the corner.. I think it all depends on the little person you're raising... I think if you start early telling them the right things to do and the wrong things you shouldn't have to resort to anything such as spanking.. I was adopted at 2 so my mom didn't have a choice, she got all my baggage from before I was adopted when damage was already done.

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    h.a.borcichposted 15 years ago

    One thing I have noticed is that single parents (not all but some) avoid disciplining their child even when the childs behavior would be a problem anywhere. There is a guilt involved that the child is suffering because the absent parent has made the child this way. Sometimes the single parent tolerates the behavior and won't discipline because it reaffirms their blame and anger at the missing parent.
    
      I also know from experience it is hard to be the only parent 24/7 for 18 years and have to be the sole disciplinarian. When you get done with 2 full time jobs the last thing you want to do is discipline. I had very clear rules, understood methods of discipline, and did not waver.
    
      About every 6 months my son would act out terribly and I would give a warning that a spanking will result. He would push it until he got it. When I realized the pattern, I realized he needed to know he was safe in the boundaries. That I would prove to him he was a kid and that his parent was in control. This pattern went on for years.
    
      He is a full grown man now. He is well adjusted and we have talked about this. He is glad I was a tough mom, and that I didn't give up being his mom to be his friend instead. When he was mad at me when he was little, he would say mean things at times. I would tell him "That is ok- I can live with that because if I get this parenting thing right today, we'll be friends when you are grown up".
    
      I do get both Mother's Day and Father's Day cards - since he was 5 - he said "you do both jobs so you get both cards".
    
      Spanking is not abuse. Spanking is a tool to help a child deter from bad behavior. Some kids never need it, some do alot. Parenting is not for cowards. The needs of the child have to be first priority, and correction is what it is.
    
      I in no way agree with violence or abuse of children.

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    Elyse Eatonposted 15 years ago

    Spanking out of anger is often done to vent and is selfish.  And in fact not discipline at all, but a way to show our children how to behave when angry.
    
    Spanking out of love comes when the parent is in control of his or her emotions and uses this technique as a consequence of wrong doing. A parent that truly wants to teach his or her child right from wrong and not just let them know they are angry or displeased can use spanking effectively.  Parents who cannot do so, must refrain from spanking.
    
    Easier said than done, of course.
    
    Certainly there are a myriad of other consequences that can and should be tried before to resorting to spanking.  Find out what motivates your child (less tv time, no soda for a week, no DS, whatever) and use it.  Having said that, sometimes a parent needs an attention getter to stop inappropriate behavior immediately and a pop on the tush (not multiple beatings with a switch or belt) is effective and appropriate.

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    h.a.borcichposted 15 years ago

    Yes, spanking is only one tool for parenting, and it is not always the right tool.
    
      When my son was potty training and being lazy, I did not spank. Instead I used a cold wash cloth to clean him up rather than a nice warm one. Making the experience unpleasant encouraged him to conform to the standard quickly.

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       Angelacaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

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14. 69

    drej2522posted 15 years ago

    Spank it!!...wait, I might be in the wrong forum!

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    Angelacaposted 15 years ago

    Spanking a child when he/she has continually disobeyed his parents is not wrong and is not going to cause any long-lasting problems for the child. Depending on the child's age, explain to him why he is being spanked. Spanking a child does not cause a child to grow up and be violent. I've worked in child care facilities and although the children are not spanked, they are still violent with each other. So spanking is not allowed but yet the children of today are still biting, kicking, and acting out in class. Children who constantly walk in disobedience must be disciplined and "time outs" dont always help them to know the important of listening to parental or adult instructions.
    Children are blessings from God and as parents, we need to take the role of parent and not try so hard to be our children's friends-that can come later in life when they are older. When they are young they need boundaries and they need to know that if they persist in being more disobedient than obedient, there are consequences. Boundaries and instruction is for the child's own survival and protection.  When spanking is done in LOVE, it is done properly and does not resemble abuse whatsoever.

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    nanspocketsposted 15 years ago

    I spanked my first child a little, my second child hardly at all, and my third never. Spanking is what you do when you haven't got the tricks of an experienced parent up your sleeve! My first child does not seem to need therapy, and my third isn't spoiled, and my discipline style has evolved over the years. I have no problem with a spanking, but it's much nicer and less stressful to discipline with fun, discussion, and "consequences". If you do x, y will happen.

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    nanspocketsposted 15 years ago

    "spanking done in LOVE" sounds a little twisted though... I spanked when I was ANGRY and the kids had gone too far, not "I'm spanking you because I love you".

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    dumbethposted 15 years ago

    Oh i tell you there nothing wrong in giving your naughty child a spank because that is just the only language some children understand. The thing is that when you tell your child to behave and he or she refuses to listen despite being warned for more than 3 times then you can spank him until he cries and listens to you.  Spanking a child doesn't mean you hate him or her, its just a way of letting the child know you won't tolerate his bad behaviour.

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19. 59

    dianacharlesposted 15 years ago

    I remember being spanked off and on as a kid,and it didn't teach me violence or turned me against my parents. However, I did not follow the same when my daughter was growing up. I think times change and the way we look at spanking today is different from how it was seen then.

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    samsbrposted 15 years ago

    when I am sleeping

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    Living in Britainposted 15 years ago

    Spanking is a very last resort,but it should never be painful, children know when we are upset to the thought of a whack is pain enough, you should never, I repeat, never hit your child with the intention of inflicting pain. Older children should not be spanked because you're teaching them that violence is a result of anger! A long conversation, remove their best privelges, or a curfew anything but trying to inflict pain. And you always talk to your teens, anything else gets you more away from them and their true feeligs, never let go of your children so be real careful before trying to hurt them when they are learning as they grow!!

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22. 60

    itcollposted 15 years ago

    I do not like people spanking their children.There are more better choices and they could resort to them.

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    GeneralHowitzerposted 15 years ago

    spanking your children will always be better, just a viewpoint though...

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24. 49

    namrata3shamposted 15 years ago

    Spanking a child is not the solution whatever be the reason.
    Ilearned this after my second 1 was born. The moment you spank a kid he or she either violates or bears it and in both the ways moves away from you making you the enemy in her mind. This does not help in any ways because once you are the enemy your words fall on deaf ears.The child then does not understand you or your anger.We get the same response even when we shout at children. So dear friends instead of wasting energy lets use it by communicating to them as they are finally our own and do listen when we do talk like their friends do.

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    honeyblondieposted 15 years ago

    well i dont spank my kids im in court at this moment with social servis thay say my way of scholding my kids is abuse now if your child hits his teachers and abuse her what do you do now with me i took away his wee game and a school trip and told him to say sorry to her and i told him to do the work she set out for him to do 24 hours later he was in care so tell me wear is the justice in that

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    cosetteposted 15 years ago

    a slap on the bottom or a slap in the face is not the point - the point is the fear and intimidation that hitting encompasses. our children aren't street thugs, they are little kids, and should be treated with respect and kindness, you know, the same way WE want to be treated? even tiny children understand what good and naughty behaviors are without being hit. if you believe it is ok to swat, slap or otherwise strike your child, then you have no right to be angry when someone else, say a day care worker or teacher, does it.
    
    hitting is cloaked in a euphemism called 'spanking'.

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    AdsenseStrategiesposted 15 years ago

    Aaaaah, this isn't the topic I was hoping for at all...

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       Bovine Currencyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I was 2 minutes behind you on that!!!

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28. 0

    cosetteposted 15 years ago

    haha!!!

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29. 60

    Bovine Currencyposted 15 years ago

    Although I don't have children, I have had some parenting experience with an old girlfriend and with cousins children and I am an uncle and yeah, you get the story but also I was a kid.  I think can set a child up more appropriately to get a spank, smack whatever you call it.  I only ever got a few because I learnt my lesson.  Otherwise, my dad would yell, he could be quite loud and I knew the next thing was a whack.  On the bum, nothing else.  That is reality.  If you grow up thinking you will get away with anything, you will get one eventually and it will be a lot worse.

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30. 73

    G Miahposted 15 years ago

    My opinion and actions are to use words to stop children being irritative. I have young cousins, who, when i give them a 'look', they sit still and don't do anything. They probably think 'If i carry on pissing this guy off he might get physical!'
    
    Don't agree with spanking. It only makes kids worse.

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    kmackey32posted 15 years ago

    I do not believe children should be spanked at all.

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    Sue Adamsposted 15 years ago

    I only ever spanked my daughter once when she ran into the road and got hit by a car. Luckily she wasn't injured because I managed to pull her out of the way. Sometimes, in an emergency, your instinct knows best.  Besides, if a child is not used to being spanked the occasional administration of spank/shock therapy is well remembered.

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    kmackey32posted 15 years ago

    My children get upset when they realize they have upset there mom, so there's no need for me to spank them.

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       Sue Adamsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I give them the silence treatment if they are naughty.

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    Richieb799posted 15 years ago

    I don't really know what my opinion is, I havent got kids yet so don't have to worry about the stress of disciplining them. Can't believe some poeple use belts and stuff though, thats bit twisted

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35. 84

    rebekahELLEposted 15 years ago

    the above child was spanked at home as discipline, it taught him to hit back.

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36. 0

    pmccrayposted 15 years ago

    SPANK - children need to know who is in charge if they don't they'll not feel safe.  I am the Mother of an adult son and found that by laying down the rules between the ages of 1 & 5 I rarely had to spank him. 
    
    When he was small I would sharply give him a swat on the hand for touching things that did not belong to him.  I would not hesitate to spank him in a public place in an effort to teach him to respect the rights of others in public. 
    
    I never went overboard, a rap on the behind is sufficent.  One thing that is very important is never fail to follow through on a punishment.  If you back peddle they'll see that as a weakness and use it against you everytime. 
    
    My son was well mannered and smart, he's my hero as an adult and I'm very proud of him.
    
    Proud Mom of a LA Fire Fighter.

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       Deborah Sextonposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You're son was probably well mannered and smart anyway.
       Spanking on the hand is dangerous and against the law.
       Spanking in public is humiliating to the child.

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    AllMomNeeds2knowposted 15 years ago

    No spanking.  What kind of message does it send or lesson does it teach?  It can be hard to find alternate ways of dealing with your kids when you've had enough but it's worth it.

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    Tete Nuttersonposted 15 years ago

    Here is my view on corporal punishment in schools. Once upon a time if kids didn't get some type of discipline at home at least they got it at school. Now they DO NOT GET IT ANY WHERE! Don't all you see the connection of the over diagnosed ADD generation? They are for the most part coddled brats who are never told NO ...and whine, cry and act out to get what they want! When what they really need is a smack on the ass from someone who cares! I was smacked on the bum as a child and never felt abused and got tons of affection and love from my parents. I am not an drug addict, an alcoholic or a sexual deviant. I have smacked my own sons tushes and guess what I just got a hug and kiss from my 14yr old as he went up stairs! He is not a self loathing spoiled brat like so many of his peers..but a well adjusted funny and happy kid. Old school parenting wins hands down and my own sons are proof.

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       Deborah Sextonposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Not getting a spanking is not the reason kids are wild these days, it's having a single parent who is always at work trying to make ends meet. It's parents who do drugs openly around their children, are open about their sex lives, drinking, all the yelling and screaming. There's no need to add spankings from the schools to it.

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    Audreveaposted 15 years ago

    No. Not in school and not at home. It's a total abuse of power and if you did it to a fellow adult you'd either get a blood nose or arrested.
    
    Not okay to bully people who are smaller than you. Kids do have to learn how to behave, but getting the message through with violence is the worst of all possible ways.

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    Citrus000posted 15 years ago

    I saw this forum pop up and got all excited to click on it because I thought it was something naughty. I am glad that I took the time to read some of the other post before I just jumped right in and made a complete fool of myself.
    
    
    Spanking as a form of discipline to children... Well, I don't have children yet but I know I got a whoopin growing up if I deserved it (I did deserve it), and I don't feel like it really harmed me in any way. I think I would prefer as a parent not to resort to spanking as a primary form of punishment, but I can't say that I wouldn't ever spank my kid either.

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41. 0

    Citrus000posted 15 years ago

    I once dated this guy who thought the best form of punishment was to put a pot of water on the stove, on medium heat and make the kid stand there and watch the water until it was boiling.
    

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    Audreveaposted 15 years ago

    Was the punishment the boredom or was there an implied threat of a scalding? The latter would be horrific.

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       Citrus000posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       YIKES.... Yes, I believe that the punishment would have been boredom, or some kind of time out/think of what you did alternative.

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          Audreveaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Phew!

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    FacebookPokerChipposted 15 years ago

    Outlining the difference between right and wrong for a child is important in raising them. Spanking a child who tries to light the house on fire is a start, but if he continues you should eventually graduate into full on headlocks and strategic drop kicks. Hiring an outside ninja to implement these is ok too, there is no need to be ashamed for shortcomings in being able to execute a perfect dropkick on an 11 year old.

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       Citrus000posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     

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    Will Apseposted 15 years ago

    You have to be a pretty sad parent if you need to beat your children to get some atention from them.
    
    If they are savages ask yourself where you went wrong- don't waste any sweat compounding your inadequacies.

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    H.C Porterposted 15 years ago

    I believe that spanking your child is appropriate, as long as the parent has control over their emotions. If the parent is enraged, don't do it, you may not be able to control the amount of force used and hurt the child.
    I don't believe in using switches/spatulas or any other household objects to aid in punishment for a misbehaving child. If your hand doesn't work... a spoon from the kitchen probably won’t either. Try speaking to the kid-taking away privileges or items they value. Too many parents go right for the corporal punishment, rather than having a conversation with their kids-or just walking away for a moment when things get heated.

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    Justice2010posted 15 years ago

    It is okay to spank a child if the other methods you tried did not work. Most kids will change there bad behavior after the first spanking.

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    follow.the.signs.posted 15 years ago

    I do not have children yet but I do work in a daycare and I know that there are other ways to get children to listen to you then using violence and yes EVERY time you hit your child is wrong.  My parents choose not to "spank" me because of their own experiences with their parents.  My punishment was if I was truely bad and wasn't listening my mother took a toy away from me and never gave it back. Ever. She only had to do it a couple of times for me to get the message. It was loud and clear. I don't think that spanking is ever necessary and if parents say that there child is just to bad its because they never tried other methods.

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       Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Surely you know which methods I tried and which I didn't. Exemplary ignorance and condescension

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48. 0

    Deborah Sextonposted 15 years ago

    Most parents create the problems in their children by sending mixed messages.
    By law a parent is allowed to spank on the behind using their hands. Anything else is considered abuse. Even then, if redness or marks are left on the behind, it is also abuse.
    
    If we raise our children correctly there is no need to spank.
    A lot of parents won't punish their children unless the children  get on their nerves, then it is excessive hitting and yelling.
    
    Parents ridicule and talk down to their kids...
    Parents expect their kids to share their toys, but parents won't share theirs with anyone (car, jewelry)
    
    A neighbor can visit and spill something and people say, that's OK I'll clean it up, no problem. Then when their kids spill something it's,  clumsy, stupid, clean that up now brat.
    
    These are messages that deeply disturb and affect children.
    
    We should always treat kids the way we want to be treated with understanding, love and respect.

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       Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I think you won me over to your fan club.

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          Deborah Sextonposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Well, well it's about time.
          
          Are you sure?

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             Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             I am positive. Take a look at my parenting hub, and you'll see why.

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    2. 64

       Laura Thykesonposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I like the way you think...Wish I had known you when I was raising my own children! You will be a wonderful parent/role model if not already!

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49. 63

    awareposted 15 years ago

    as a last resort. never in public. lightly only.

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       DebtFreedomposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Absolutely never in public, not because it makes you look bad but because your child might feel humiliated.  For me though, I spanked and didn't like it. I don't spank anymore. It doesn't feel right and my kid just got worse.

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50. 70

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    No. If you want your kids not to hit others, don't hit them.
    
    All kids learn from being hit is not to trust adults who can't control themselves and that when they are bigger they will hit back.

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