Which is the safest way to look for a mate? The bar or online dating?

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   ForeverHeatherposted 12 years ago

   Some say that online dating is dangerous, that meeting a stranger and agreeing to see them is unsafe compared to meeting someone at a bar.
   
   There are arguments for both sides, but I was wondering what you hubbers had to say!

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      lifeinprimeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If a person is smart, online dating is much safer than meeting someone in a bar.  Consider this: Alcohol is a depressant.  It distorts our logic, reasoning abilities to decide if the person we meet in a bar is interesting, decent, and worthy of our time.  Also, alcoholism leads to regret, waking up with the wrong person, and--in rare instances--violence.
      
      In online dating, you should meet for the first time in a well lighted public place over coffee or soft drinks, forgoing the alcohol altogether.  You're more logical and make better decisions if alcohol is not involved.  If the two of you don't have any chemistry, you simply move on.  It's as easy as that!

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      TJenkins602posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would say neither is the safest way. However, I would feel more comfortable meeting someone at a bar than online.
      
      I would probably meet at places other than the bar. I've met a lot of cool people at my library. I've also met people at bookstores, theaters, concerts, social events, and many more places.

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   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   I met my x on line. No way else to it since she lived fifty miles away. Always meet in person in a public place. If  can't tell in person whether dangerous or not then its a problem.

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   Jonathan Jancoposted 12 years ago

   The bar has its pros/cons as online dating does. Problem w/ the online route is that most of the sites nowadays are nothing but spam nests. But when I see a bar and go in, it always turns out to be a bar.
   
   But if I'm really on the prowl, I usually just go to the grocery store or the library or the beach. The bar is a place I go for social satisfaction. A love interest you might meet there is deliberately showing a very small part of themselves and masking the rest. That is if they're trying to hook up. So just like online, it cant really be trusted. In the less likely places like I mentioned, you tend to get more genuine interactions.

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      ForeverHeatherposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      so true! People put on a mask when they are out at the bar. Their real personality comes out in more common daytime places....

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   4tuneposted 12 years ago

   It would have to be a very high end bar at a great Hotel.. Just saying that cause there is NO way in hell you will catch me on no damn date site. ( Bad Luck, Bad smells, Bad people, Bad experience.)

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   Chaotic Chicaposted 12 years ago

   Hmmm...Like Jonathan said, each has it's pros and cons.  Speaking from personal experience I can say that neither is really the best place.
   I met a guy on-line and we agreed to meet...at a bar.  I was 18 and smart enough not to go solo and he turned out to be older than my father.  He thought by the level of our conversations I was older and he was just as surprised as I was.  He turned out to be like a surrogate father to me, watching over me to make sure I was always respected and safe.
   That was the bar I met my ex-husband at.  He passed the gun-cleaning by the surrogate father test and lied his way into everybody's heart.  He turned out to be abusive.
   My husband now is the best man I have ever met and I met him, of all places, at the auto parts store where I worked. I was not looking for love, in fact I was very much NOT looking.  Life happened in the form of my mother's new motorcycle mechanic! LOL

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   Urbane Chaosposted 12 years ago

   If online dating is done right, I think it can be the best way to meet quality people.  There's a thousand places to meet people (insert shameless plug: I have a hub on this!) but the bar is not somewhere I'd go to find a mate - unless I'm just wanting to mate. From my experience, bars are just meat markets.. and I'll freely admit, I've spent my fair share of time in them.
   
   But, online dating, if you spend enough time to get to "know" someone online before you meet them then it's a little safer bet.  Obviously, follow all the safety rules.. If you're extremely nervous about meeting online, you can always search them out to get more information.  You can't really do that at a bar. If all goes well, add them to facebook, then add their friends.  I think online dating is a heck of a lot safer now than it ever has been in the past.

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   klarawieckposted 12 years ago

   I met my husband online, in a regular chat room where there were another fifty users all writing at once. We've been together for seven years now. I've met many people online and have met them in person later, and my experience has always been that people generally tend to be themselves online. They know they can say anything and if they get rejected by another user it won't matter because there is no proximity. You can erase it all by clicking that little X on the top right of the screen.

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      ForeverHeatherposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      those old school chat rooms were the best!

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         R.S. Hutchinsonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Ha! I remember those chat rooms!!! So much fun. Whatever happened to them ?

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