If I wanted to grow in the bible, I'd eat the pages

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   mischeviousmeposted 12 years ago

   I'm not an atheist and am a former Christian, while I still have a personal God, it was nothing no other person could convey.
   
   Somebody once said they were trying to help me grow in Jesus Christ. I said "Get me a bible and some catsup, I'm ready to eat".

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      LewSethicsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Did it turn into holy shit?

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         LewSethicsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         hey!  my poop word was censored!!

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      LewSethicsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I tried it with the Tao Te Ching, but I just wanted more an hour later.

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      Jason Marovichposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I once had a teacher take a Bible and throw it on the floor before his podium.  He was a progressive man, and as the other students and I sat there aghast, he told us, "That physical book is just that, a physical book.  No matter what anyone does to it, the words will still endure."
      
      I've always treated Bibles with respect, I just feel wrong doing otherwise.  But, the teacher made a good point.  We don't want to turn physical objects into icons, no matter how religious those items might seem.

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         Paul Wingertposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I have two bibles that are family heirlooms with family records and such. Any other bible goes into the trash or burn bin in my household.

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   TheMagicianposted 12 years ago

   Eat the pages? Hmm.
   I have a good friend who's a huge stoner and a Christian (half Jewish, however that works) and he likes to use the pages as rolling papers. Makes him feel holy

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      mischeviousmeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I did the same thing in college, I was too lazy to buy a pipe and bibles are cheaper than papers.

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         jonnycomelatelyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Holy Smoke!

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         Disappearingheadposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I guess that had you used pages from the Quran you might have lost your head!

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   mischeviousmeposted 12 years ago

   I wrote this to get at the christians, it's so easy for them to piss on the beliefs of others, I figured I'd do the same for a while. See if they had anything to defend themselve's with, since their always on the attack.

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      BLACKANDGOLDJACKposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      mischieviousme, I suggest you take a big bite out of the 10 commandments. You know, those stone tablets.
      
      The commandment you need to eat the most is "Thou shalt not act the fool." If that one's missing when they find those tablets, perhaps you won't end up burning in the lake of fire after all. Although I suspect you have also violated most of the other commandments.
      
      Incidentally, are you still an archiologist? Dagnabbit, my foot still hurts.

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         mischeviousmeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         My spelling is not the issue.
         Christians are supposed to be humble, are they not? Yet they attack another's belief with threats of damnation and hell fire. It's all baloney anyway, a figment of our imagination as is conveyed by our brain.

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            LewSethicsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            watch it misme, that lake of fire sounds dangerous

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      Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Defend against what, exactly? Are we supposed to come up with well documented reasons why eating a book is stupid? Do we really need to? How did you even get "eat a Bible" out of "grow in the Bible" anyway? I'm confused.
      
      P.S. You guys left off an obvious "holy roller" joke with that stoner comment. You also could have referenced those people who think that the biblical God and weed are literally the same thing. I'm more offended by your lackadaisical humor than your blasphemy.

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      Disappearingheadposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oh burn your bra!!

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