Is it okay to allow your teenage daughter to sleep over with her boyfriend in yo

1. 89

   mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years ago

   Is it okay to allow your teenage daughter to sleep over with her boyfriend in your house?
   
   Would you allow your teenage daughter to bring her boyfriend back to your house to stay overnight with her?

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2. 77

   roxanne459posted 12 years ago

   There is soooo much to say here but all I can spit out is..NO! NO! NO! Under no circumstance would that ever be ok.

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3. 61

   Daxmanposted 12 years ago

   Sure as long as i can stand guard next to the bed together with my shotgun   But joking aside, that would be a huge NO for me.

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4. 81

   proudmammaposted 12 years ago

   Sorry but the answer is NO! NO! NO! Each parent has to make their own choice. However, mine would be a definite no! This is similar to a situation I have going on in my house. I have a teenage son who wants to stay at his best friend's house. His best friend is somebody's daughter. Her parents choose to allow her to have friends, both males and females, at their house. Call me old fashion or whatever you like, but I just do not believe in allowing one or more of the opposite sex staying together for overnight sleepovers. I feel you are just asking for trouble.                       In fact, the other night my son asked to stay at one of his friends house. I just felt something wasn't right. I discovered he had decided to lie to me. He was at her house. I changed out of my pajamas and picked him up. I've told him what other parents choose to do with their children is their business. However, I will not compromise my morals and standards. I will not conform to the rest of the crowd. Look at me as a prude if you choose to do so, I really don't care. I can and will not allow this to happen.                                                                      Also, if I would allow this to happen, my husband would haunt me forever. I recently lost my husband, and he would never have allowed our son to stay at a girl's house.                                                                                                             We have seen too many other family members allow this to happen. It did not work out well. It can and does lead to other things, besides them having sex. You are only asking for trouble, in most cases, when you allow this type of behavior to occur.                                                                                                                      Just my opinion................

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5. 61

   KristaJevonsposted 12 years ago

   Depends....do you want her to have sex in your house?

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6. 75

   petenaliposted 12 years ago

   If she sleeps upstairs, he sleeps downstairs and I sleep ON the stairs!

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7. 39

   alisha4uposted 12 years ago

   Definitely not !
   
   Neither at My House, Nor at somebody else's House...

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8. 58

   icydeboposted 12 years ago

   No.
   How would you even let your child disrespect you to the point of even thinking about allowing that in your house. If she's "doing it", you can't stop her, but at least advise her to be safe and promote that she be safe. This will make her more comfortable with you and with that, hopefully you will be able to come to terms with the fact that your little girl is getting big. Every girl's parent has to do it someday. Better to ease the tension with encouragement of at least being right when she does it, then end up with a pregnant teen.

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9. 76

   JamaGeneeposted 12 years ago

   No way! So call me a prude.  My house, my rules!  I don't care if "everybody else is doing it", my daughter ISN'T "everybody else".  As for a previous comment from someone who *would* allow it, I have to ask "Would you allow your underage daughter (or son) to drink alcohol under your roof with your permission, too?".

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10. 83

    TripleAMomposted 12 years ago

    Definately not.  I feel that is giving too much choice and freedom to a teen girl that may not be ready to have.  I recently counselled a girl that told me that her mother allowed her boyfriend to stay over and she wished her mother would have "been a parent" and told the boyfriend to leave, or told her that the boyfriend was not allowed to stay.  The boyfriend was controlling and she felt out of control.  I am determined to BE A PARENT and make sure my children (even teens) are safe as long as they are under my roof, and while they are under my roof, my husband and I will teach them what to look for in relationships and ensure that they know that we are always here for them.

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11. 60

    katkinposted 12 years ago

    Have just read all the other comments and I am surprised at the number of people saying NO,surely it would depend on the age of the daughter and the relationship between her and her boyfriend? and also the relationship between YOU and the daughter.
    This very question happened to us when my daughter was 16 and her boyfriend was the same age, they had been together for a year and she came to me and said she wanted to go on the contraceptive pill. My response was not of shock,horror, no way,but of OK at least she's being sensible and has come to me to discuss it first. My husband and I talked about it and came to the conclusion that if she was ready to talk to us about this then she was likely going to sleep with her boyfriend anyway and we would rather she was safe in our home than in some park or car,and we allowed it.
    My girl friends were horrified and infact one of them said to me she would NEVER allow her daughter to sleep with her boyfriend,her daughter was in the same class as mine,just 3 months after we had this conversation her daughter announced that she was pregnant,she was 16 when she had her baby. My daughter on the other hand has a good job,a lovely boyfriend and they are saving to get married,both wanting to be married before having children.
    I think its important to KNOW your children,don't bury your head in the sand,if they're going to have sex then they're going to have sex whether you like it or not! But if you have developed a good relationship then at least you will avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

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    1. 72

       Ciel Clarkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I'm surprised by all the no's.  This could be why the USA has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies.  Not in the parental house of course...

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    2. 60

       royalblkroseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I said "no" because it's IRRESPONSIBLE for teenagers to have sex w/o of marriage.  We have fostered a culture that nods and winks at irresponsibility as a rite of passage and complains about the consequences of such actions.

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    3. 89

       mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I loved this answer, hence voted it Best answer. People who down voted it clearly didn't read thoroughly what Katkin had written as they had already formed their own opinions. She made it clear that her way worked and the not allowing it didn't.

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12. 56

    yoyofreeposted 12 years ago

    Only if you are ready for grandchildren.

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    1. 78

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       LOL!

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13. 71

    donnaisabellaposted 12 years ago

    No! Certainly not in my house or anyone else's.

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14. 60

    khawkposted 12 years ago

    That would be a no.  It's hard enough trying to warn her aboout pregnancy and diseases when she's going out the door.  Allowing a boyfriend to stay would be shooting myself in the foot.

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15. 60

    Mother of Zenoposted 12 years ago

    I got pregnant that way. My parents took in my boyfriend (now my husband) and we got busy the second we got the chance. We didn't care about protection because we "loved" each other. We barely knew each other and now we are stuck knowing each other for the rest of our lives whether we like it or not. I love him, and I do not regret anything, but I do not suggest this lifestyle to teens. and I strongly caution parents against allowing this to happen. Because if YOU let him/her in YOU let it happen. They are only following their hormonal nature.

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16. 60

    denkmuskelposted 12 years ago

    An agnostic's answer to the question if your daughter should be allowed to have her boyfriend over for the night. read more

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17. 70

    brakel2posted 12 years ago

    Teenage dating involving the sleepover at parents' house is a hot issue today. Find out what teens believe. A book "Not Under My Roof" provides shocking information about the subject in the United States and the Netherlands. read more

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18. 73

    AEvansposted 12 years ago

    There are liberal families and non-liberal families. I believe as parents we are role models and have to make the choice of parenting or allowing our teenagers... read more

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19. 67

    Bretsukiposted 12 years ago

    To stay at my house yes, of course. My wife and I would love to get to know her boyfriend. Share a few hours together and breakfast.
    
    By  "with her" Do you mean in her room? Alone? Together? Then no. That would not be part of the bargain. Even if  it meant I spent the night on the sofa with the boyfriend and my wife spending the night with our daughter, they are not going to get any alone time together under our roof untill they are married.

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20. 59

    freemarketingnowposted 12 years ago

    No, absolutely not. This is wrong on so many levels!

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21. 93

    ercramer36posted 12 years ago

    No!  Nothing good can come from it. Very bad idea.

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22. 72

    Ciel Clarkposted 12 years ago

    I think it would depend.  A young teen who lives at home, probably not.  An older teen visiting home from college-- probably. (Again, it depends, and I don't yet know how I will react when my boys are older...)
    
    I don't think anyone should have sex until they are ready to be parents, but seriously-- this is not realistic.  How many here can say they waited that long?? 
    
    I have two sons, and although generally people seem to think this is not as big of a deal-- It is.  Of course it takes two, so mothers: educate your sons.  My boys are young, but I know the day will come!

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    1. 60

       royalblkroseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       that's right educate those boys! find a responsible man to HELP you. for them to properly understand male/female relationships.

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    2. 72

       Ciel Clarkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you royalblkrose!  So come on mothers and fathers , educate your daughters, of course, but teach your sons as well.  Solving half of the problem really isn't a solution

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23. 0

    Starmom41posted 12 years ago

    no, absolutely not-  and I'd say the same if the subject was a teenage son and girlfriend. 
    
    wondering, though, why all the "no" comments received "vote downs."

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    1. 89

       mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Well I can say I didn't vote down any answers on that basis as I see both sides have their own pros and cons. I am surprised more people didn't understand that the kids will have sex anyway (like it or not), so it is safer for it to be at home.

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24. 60

    royalblkroseposted 12 years ago

    uh, NO!  I understand the whole rebellioni/wanting to be friends thing. HOWEVER the best thing you can do for your child (and until she's 21 she's still a child) is to be a responsible adult to her.
    She can holla (yeah, I meant to express it that way) all she wants about trust, responsibility, maturity, but you have to protect her from the consequences of some risky behaviour.
    Now, the important thing is to establish a trusting, respectful relationship with your daughter BEFORE SHE GETS to the rebellious teen stage.

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25. 60

    kingmaxlerposted 12 years ago

    My reaction to this was to scream NO, NO, NO! Then I remembered my daughter. She is strong willed and has an intelligent mind. The first thing I would do is to talk rationally with my daughter and tell her how hard that would be for me and the problems that could arise for her. Be frank with the fact that their changing teenage brain and body are susceptible to choices made in the heat of the moment. If there is a problem after that, then start watching movies or videos where it shows the problems that occur with early sexual promiscuity. I would allow it in my house in the garage, but I would explain to my daughter why I would not want her to stay anywhere else with a boy. I have a great relationship with my daughter and she is trustworthy. The thing is, she could lie to me and then I have lost. She wouldn't do that. She honors the trust I have in her. I have three grown boys who also were trustworthy. My oldest is 30 and all three are honorable. Besides, what if she was into girls, then she would not be allowed to stay the night anywhere. I started early with all my children, talking about the problems with indulging in physical intimacy too early. I think that when a child becomes 18 and goes to college they have all the freedom in the world. If you don't establish trust and open communication before that the issue is one of a spring that has been held down for too long.

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26. 79

    AnnaCiaposted 12 years ago

    No! It is not ok.  The only way would be if there is a hurricane or any other disaster.

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27. 51

    stoney1215posted 12 years ago

    my wife and i have 3 teen daughters . once they came to us and told us they were having sex we started letting their boyfriends sleep over . there were rules . he must be a boyfriend for at least 1 month . no sexual activity until after 11 pm .  we would rather our daughters have sex in the safety of their own room than the alternatives .  all 3 of our daughters have had a very healthy , safe , active and proud sex life . all 3 are on the depo shot for birth control and all 3 are proud and secure in their sex life and in who they are . 
    for all the naysayers  the downside , if you think its a downside , which we do not is that they have all had many different partners . my wife and i both think this is a good thing . all 3 can talk openly and honestly about sex with both of us . we could not be more proud of our girls .

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    1. 62

       rouilliewilkersonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Sounds like you did the best you could with the tools and options you had. Nevertheless, there are other options. And teaching our daughters to spread ‘em indiscriminately is dangerous, irresponsible and cheating them out of mature love and sexual gr

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28. 0

    danielabramposted 12 years ago

    I think the only acceptable time to allow it is if your daughter allows one of her friends to sleep over too. That way, you avoid any funny business. Also, to send a clear message to her, bring her to Planned Parenthood to learn more about unplanned pregnancies. This is much more effective than anything you tell her.

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29. 59

    TheSingularityposted 12 years ago

    This is not a black-and-white issue. The answer is Yes, in some circumstances, and No, in others. The real question is: does your teenage daughter have a good sense of right and wrong? Do you trust her, and does she trust you? Does she adapt well and have well defined goals? Have you discussed sexuality and contraception with her? If the answer is yes, then most certainly it is okay to allow her to sleep over with her boyfriend. If the answer is No, then perhaps you should re-evaluate your parenting methods or come up with a strategy to promote this state of mind.
    
    The fact of the matter is that teenagers are going to engage in sexual activity whether you "allow" it or not. Often, teenagers with very restrictive parents will engage in risky or promiscuous activity. It is much better to equip your daughter with knowledge and self esteem so that she can develop a healthy sense of sexuality and build positive relationship skills. Without parental guidance, these things can be hard to figure out and lead to life-long problems.

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30. 62

    rouilliewilkersonposted 12 years ago

    Noooo! And not just because I'm a Muslimah either. Self respect should be the protocol here.

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31. 47

    benkovijaposted 12 years ago

    Our daughter has reached the age of 14 years. The law allows to have sex if she wants without any persuasion or coercion. Due to a strong libido andintense curiosity because he wants to have sex with our family friends who isolder than her 10 years.
    The good students do not drink alcohol or smoke, very polite. Most of herpeers have already had sexual intercourse, and some have got STDs. We took her to a gynecologist, she was safe protection against unwantedpregnancy. In our house, had his first sexual relationship with our family friends. It was all right. The next two weeks are twice repeated sexual intercourse. Now it is very calm and sensible has a boyfriend and it is oftenhanging out. We'll see how it will behave in the coming time.

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32. 58

    LensMan999posted 11 years ago

    I will never allow my daughter to do so. Though they consider themselves as friends, it's the duty of parents to make sure about the safety of their daughter. They are not yet matured and they may see every things easily. So better take good care so that you don't have to worry later.

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