How do you pull yourself up by the bootstraps?

1. 72

   backporchstoriesposted 11 years ago

   How do you pull yourself up by the bootstraps?
   
   If you wake up one day and find you have been dealt a bad hand, how do recover and reclaim your life?  Especially when you are over 50 in age!  Live in country.  No one will give me a job. Just lost both our cars to malfunctions and only 1000 in income from a disable spouse.  I pray. I believe in God.  I write of His praise.  So where do I find my bootstraps to pull myself up?

   replyreport
2. 86

   SidKempposted 11 years ago

   I face a similar situation, and have learned to remain at peace and joyful, become creative, and make the most of my life. How do I do it?
   
   - Let's each connect with our hearts.
   - Let's live our truth, no matter what happens or what anyone else does.
   - Let's be deeply grateful at least once a day.
   - Let us share joy with others, and help relieve their grief.
   - Let's make a plan for living and achieving our goals.
   - Let's take it one day at a time, in unconditional peace and joy.

   replyreport
   1. 72

      backporchstoriesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much SidKemp!  I try to live my life righteously, but someitmes I feel like karma is knocking on my door when I don't deserve it.  But this is what life gives us and sometime I simply need a swift kick!

      replyreport
   2. 86

      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Karma - hmm, try this medicine. What happens to us says nothing about who we are. What we do with the hand we're dealt - that says everything!

      replyreport
3. 65

   maddotposted 11 years ago

   Sorry to hear of your woes backporchstories..it must be very hard. When i have a hard time I try to just calm myself down because I find if I start worrying too much my mind causes me alot of grief and i can't see my way through.
   The answer is some times right in front of me..I just can't see it. I've learnt to enjoy the times when I'm not working,  learnt that even when I run out of money (which is a real bummer) I can still enjoy life. When something gets broken like a car etc..another will always turn up..or least an opportuntiy will present that helps resolve the probelm and open new doors..I think the secret is..feel sorry for yourself for a little bit, and then resolve that you can do this..there is always a away through and lots of new opportunities....good luck

   replyreport
   1. 72

      backporchstoriesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Maddot.  You are so right about getting so caught up that you can not see what is right in front of you.

      replyreport
4. 53

   whonunuwhoposted 11 years ago

   We can all take lessons from such men as Washington, Franklin, Hamilton, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy and those scientists, philosophers, and inventors who despite of hardships and handicaps, did pull themselves up and make something very special happen in our country, as well as around the world. personally, seek help from public sources, food stamps, medicade, welfare, and agencies that Human Resources may help you with. Go to a flea market and sell your arts and crafts, as well as collectibles, ask assistance from Vocational.Rehabilitation in helping you get a job. If you yourself are disabled, seek help from lawyers who deal specifically with that, they don't ask money upfront and collect only if you get social security disability. Go to food banks for food and staples. Have garage sales and raise some money. Write congressmen and state government officials for help. Go to your church or pastor, or seek help from other churches. Place your work on consignment in other shops. Ask to work in schools or private education facilities as an assistant. Ask to work in hospitals as directing patients and visitors assignments. Seek work as a lunch room aid or food staff member. Hold bake sales or other things you can make. Join with others in forming a coop to sell goods or in a flea market or shop setting. Write editorials about yourself and ask for help. I hope I have helped in some way. May God bless you and your husband. I too, am disabled and my wife is also on social security, as well. We struggle to make ends meet, but somehow we have. God Bless.

   replyreport
   1. 59

      kathyjones1952@atposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      These are great suggestions, whonunuwho!  I really needed this because I have been feeling so depressed all day due to my money situation!

      replyreport
5. 59

   a49eracctposted 11 years ago

   Praying is the first step
   But the best thing you can do is be patient. If you trust God, He will put things back together perfectly. Just keep your eyes peeled! You may be getting an answer you don't expect. But for now it may be helpful to get some financial advice/ review your finances and see where you can cut back and places where you ought to spend a little more. Also, focus on things you LOVE to do. Whether it be working in a garden, reading books, volunteering in your community- it will keep your mind off yourself and make you feel better. Chin up!

   replyreport
   1. 72

      backporchstoriesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your suggestion.  We live barest minimal now!  What is the real kicker is that no one will hire a 52 year old woman when they have scores of younger people to choose from.  I love my country living, but never thought a job would be....

      replyreport
6. 37

   edhanposted 11 years ago

   Have faith in God.
   
   There is always a solution to everything as long as you do not give up. It is easy to surrender oneself and says this is the end. But in every bad situation, there is always a glimpse of hope as long as one has faith.
   
   A true heart prayer will always be heard.

   replyreport
   1. 72

      backporchstoriesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I am keeping the faith!

      replyreport
7. 61

   Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

   I think sometimes (and I hate to say this), it's not even so much that a person doesn't have bootstraps, but it's that he has them (most people do), but his hands are tied by one thing or another.
   
   In that situation (when it is absolutely impossible to use one's metaphorical hands to pull oneself up one's equally metaphorical bootstraps). all a person can do is start with what he DOES have access to.  Usually, that is a combination of mental/emotional resources; which can include things like ability to stay solid and hopeful through such a difficult time.  There's the mental resource of knowing how to (sometimes) get through a day while buying some time until some action can be taken.  There's the mental resource of knowing that before even the smallest decisions are made one must assess whether a choice brings one or more possibilities to take things in a positive direction versus whether it's more of a dead-end type of option.  Things tend to either snowball in a good direction or in a bad direction.  Watching for choices that encourage the good direction (even the tiniest of choices) can (maybe) help sometimes. 
   
   Another mental resource is figuring out what one does have access to and taking advantage of it.  Staying still never leads to anywhere different.  Taking even the tiniest of steps will at least lead to somewhere different than where one is.  In turn, that changes the picture enough sometimes to also change the available combination of potential resources (including, sometimes, leading to something negative that nonetheless involves breaking into a new kind of thinking/approach).
   
   An important emotional resource is always looking around and being appreciative with what we have, because appreciating what we do have in life is one of the best ways to still have some happiness.  Gaining strength and stamina from the love we have for family and friends, and from the basic (and free things) in life (like fresh air, sunsets, sunrises, the smell of rain, etc.) can help replenish our mental/emotional resources, which can tend to be drained during such rough times.
   
   None of this much, but it's what I have to offer on such a challenging question.
   
   Oh...  One other thing:   Ask oneself if one's hands are tied as a result of circumstances that nobody could have ever done anything about, or whether the circumstances have, in fact, been created (or made worse) by someone else.  If the latter is the case, it may be worth trying to get whoever has some fault in the matter to rectify some things as a way of improving the situation.  I don't mean, for example, if the company one works for goes out of business.  That's not really someone's intentional fault.  I mean, instead, if, for example, a bank makes an error in one's account, charges one for what happened as a result of the bank's error, and then makes the individual's personal situation worse.  In other words, if one thinks someone else's mistake is to blame, one has to be objective and reasonable in assessing whether that's accurate.  If appropriate and possible, people should sue when someone else has contributed (through negligence, mistake, malfeasance, etc.) to a "no-bootstraps"/"tied-hands" situations.

   replyreport
   1. 59

      kathyjones1952@atposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think this is a great answer, Lisa !

      replyreport
8. 59

   kathyjones1952@atposted 11 years ago

   I really needed this because I've been feeling so depressed about my money situation today!  I get SSI once a month and my brother-in-law has been helping me out financially as well.  He told me the other day, however, that he's not going to be able to pay me this month because he doesn't have the money, himself, and I've been told by other members of the family that he has more money than he lets on that he has!  It's hard to know who to believe!  I'm not able to pay all my bills and I don't know what I'm going to do about groceries next week!
   Anyway, to pull myself up by the bootstraps, I pray, read my bible, exercise, sing and play my guitar.  I think keeping busy really helps.  In the meantime, I'm looking for a work at home job to supplement my SSI check.

   replyreport
   1. 72

      backporchstoriesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I fell you Kathy!  For the last year, I have been visiting food banks.  I am grateful they exist!  Churches have helped this way too!  Most days, I handle my situation well, but some mornings, I wake up and I feel like crap!  But there is hope!

      replyreport
   2. 59

      kathyjones1952@atposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I feel very depressed when I first wake up of the morning, knowing what all I'm going through.  It's then that I pray to God for blessing me with another beautiful day of life and read my bible. 
      I may consider visiting a food bank, myself.

      replyreport
   3. 61

      DarioToliverposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Kathy the things that you do are the best way to get your mind off of your problems, but we do need to stayed focused on the situation.  Maybe look into an Online business?  Went it comes down you have ,you to take care of.  Much love, and good luck.

      replyreport
9. 61

   DarioToliverposted 11 years ago

   I to have been through things in my life that have kicked me when I was down.  A bad relationship with my kids mother.  I have been homeless twice, and have lost too many jobs to count.  But I had to keep going, I had to find that special something inside that won't let me quit.  i am almost 60, and I have gone back to school, it is never too late, wait I take that back, It is too late only went they are burying you.  We all have that inside of us, because I don't think that I am anything special in that regard, it is in you too.
   So how do you pull yourself up by your bootstraps?  For me is about knowing that when it gets bad for me, there is a rainbow coming.   I believe that life is always good.  The little things will always be little things,  I once heard a man say "Never sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff".  I also believe that these are the moments that we are tested to see how strong we really are.  You are so much stronger than you believe, and you will rise to the top,  When you get to the top you will be able to look back, and  laugh.  Then you will say life didn't beat me, and I beat it.  You are Woman hear you Roar!!!!

   replyreport
   1. 72

      backporchstoriesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the encouraging words.  I believe the best way to pull myself up by bootstraps is to have fellow hubbers give me good sound advice.  THANK YOU EVERYONE!

      replyreport
10. 75

    carol7777posted 11 years ago

    Life is ever changing.  And I have to admit we are all going through some tough times. I read many of these answers and find them valid and encouraging.  And when you burn  your hand it still hurts even if it is 200 degrees or 2000. We all have problems  and issues, but life is short so trying to find a gleam once during the day may help.

    replyreport
11. 0

    VeronicaInspiresposted 11 years ago

    I pray things have gotten better for you as I'm writing this. . . .
    
    More than anything you need to press closer into God.
    
    And after you do that there are some other ways:
    
    Changing the people you hang around with.
    Changing your environment.
    Changing your outlook.
    Cultivating more enthusiasm.
    Disciplining yourself better.
    Having more faith.
    Working harder (or smarter).
    Refusing to feel sorry for yourself.
    Cutting expenses and displaying a better use of your money.
    Having more focus. 
    Being more optimistic.
    Creating better habits for yourself.
    Bouncing back after defeat and failure.

    replyreport