What would you do if your son is GAY?

1. 65

   Lanzskieposted 11 years ago

   What would you do if your son is GAY?
   
   Would you abandon him because of what he has become? Would you let him live in fears and in all lies? Or would you accept him although its a "sin" and therefore, to some, considered as an "evil"? Are you really concerned about him, or you are being too selfish to protect your family's reputation?
   
   

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2. 60

   windygreenposted 11 years ago

   First of all, I would support him and love him the same as I always had.  Being gay does not change who a person is, they still possess all the same qualities they always did.
   
   Secondly, I would be proud.  Figuring out who you are is not easy for anyone,  being who you are is even harder.   Coming out takes a great deal of bravery.  I would be glad that I was the type of parent that my son could come to without fear.  I would feel honored that my son had chosen to do so.
   
   Thirdly, I would join PFLAG- coalition of parents, family, and friends of gays and lesbians.  Link for PFLAG :    http://community.pflag.org/
   
   PS: If you need support now or in the future - feel free to drop me a line. 

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   1. 81

      Stina Caxeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      This is a great answer, but more than anything I love that you said you would be proud.

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   2. 65

      Lanzskieposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      great insights! I hope my mum would join a gay parent group so she'll understand more about our (gay) world.

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3. 77

   JimTxMillerposted 11 years ago

   What I have always done, love and support him.

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4. 76

   Paul Maplesdenposted 11 years ago

   Who says it's a sin? If your belief system states that it is, then you need to examine how your reconcile that within yourself, rather than with your child. The person your son is, with all his inherent talent, beauty, flaws, idosyncracies and the like hasn't changed simply because of his sexual preference.
   
   For me, it would make not one iota of difference, it's up to each of us to decide what's best for us in our lives, and that would extend to everyone around me. I believe in a live and let live approach, and treat others as I myself would like to be treated.

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   1. 65

      Lanzskieposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Indeed. Follow up question: The bible says that God only created Adan and Eve. Then who created gays/lesbian? Why do people think that because they are what they are, they are "evil"? What is your thought about this.

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   2. 60

      windygreenposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      If you believe in Adam and Eve... There was only one man and one woman on Earth at the time ... What choice did they have ?   If their creater had made 2 women and 2 men instead of one of each .... Who knows.

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   3. 79

      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's decidedly incestuous if you think about it - Adam and  Eve...and whom else to continue onwards? I like your thoughts Windy - what if there had been 2 of one?
      Lanzkie - I believe we were made this way - if there is God, then he made us this way

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5. 72

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   I would be fine with it. My husband on the other hand would probably cut him off entirely. He is my son and I will accept him in almost anything he does. Family's reputation? As if I care what others think of my family. Family is a connection, a bond. As my parents always said, "friends come and go, but family will always be there".

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   1. 79

      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Iburmaster - this I agree with, your stance, not your husbands.  My apologies for the comments in the parent's being gay section - it doesn't make sense to me re parents, but I'm glad you'd accept him for who he is.  Thank you.

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   2. 65

      Lanzskieposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with that. Follow up question: Why most gay parent dad won't accept their son as a gay?

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   3. 72

      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      For most men, it's an embarrassment. There are various reasons why.

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   4. 79

      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I wonder if for Dad's it's "What did I do wrong?" Society has made us think it's something bad, dirty, shameful and wrong, so they feel guilt at not having done right by their son - when love of a parent is the only right thing they need to do.

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   5. 60

      windygreenposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think that (in general) females are more likely to be accepting.  I believe this is because women (as a group) have experienced opression and therefore are less likey to opress.  Again, this is generally speaking- not inclusive of all.

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6. 81

   Stina Caxeposted 11 years ago

   My son as well as my daughter are free to love whomever they choose.  As long as that person treats them well and they in turn treat their partner well I will be happy for them and support them entirely.

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   1. 65

      Lanzskieposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with that. After all, love is love regardless what the sexuality is!

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7. 79

   jlparkposted 11 years ago

   I would hug him, and say "I know. I love you just as much as the day you were born, and wish you all the happiness in the world.".
   
   I would be there for him, or her, all the way - they are my child. Any problems, any questions, I would be there.  For a son, I would also check out with my male friends if there is anything that I wouldn't be able to answer/cover, as I am a woman.
   
   As a gay woman myself, I can only hope to be as accepting as my parents, my in laws, my siblings, and my friends.  I have a wonderful group of people who love me for me, and my family.   I would hope that my son, or daughter, should they be gay feel that they have the same.  Given I would know more about being a gay woman than a gay man, I would seek assistance from both my straight and gay male friends as to how to make his journey safer and easier. Because just because I am gay, doesn't mean that I know what it's like to be a gay man.
   
   I do not believe it is a sin, and I quite frankly was born this way (or 'born this gay"!), so I believe my children would be the same (not necessarily gay - but if so - born that way).
   
   To clear things up though - I would love, cherish, support, accept my children if they are straight, transgender, asexual, pansexual, bisexual or anything else. They are my child, I shall not judge them,
   
   BUT, you hurt my child - be you his/her partner, a bully, or someone else, and be it for sexuality reasons, power or just violence - you will feel the wrath of my love for my child and what someone hurting them will stir up in me.

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8. 60

   lookatmenowposted 11 years ago

   The comments here are nothing short of amazing...I'm not a parent but I'm gay and my parents were accepting of it an I wish for every lgbt person to experience the same...you parents all all inspirations and I thank you for leading by example

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9. 69

   nina64posted 11 years ago

   I would still love and support him unconditionally!!!!!! Whatever life decisions he makes are the ones he will have to live with. I may not agree with his choice to live that type of lifestyle, but I won't condemn him. He is my flesh and blood. I can't deny that. He's my pride and joy, and most of all my gift from God.

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10. 0

    ahorsebackposted 11 years ago

    That question-- is excactly how I always justified gay rights , my son ,my brother , my daughter ! What would I  do  but love them , completely and unconditionaly !  Do I take this question from you as one who has a personal stake in this issue   My friend ?

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11. 0

    TheFrankoposted 11 years ago

    All of the answers I just read were truly amazing and, to be honest, I wish my dad was like all of you guys. He'd never accept me because he doesn't understand that it isn't our choice. We haven't become homosexuals for a reason. If there's so many haters around who would like to be one of us instead of being heterosexual and living without worries and outside the shadow...
    
    Anyway, if I were "straight" I don't know what would I do if I found out my son/daughter was gay. I accept them all because I'm a part of LGBT community but that could have been different if I weren't gay.
    
    To all of you who wrote such a nice comments: you are the best parents ever, keep up the good work.

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    1. 79

       jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       TheFranko - as part of the 'family' - we accept and love each and everyone of us along the spectrum of sexuality - so, always know you are accepted, welcomed and cherished amongst us, even if your own family do not understand.

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